Sabbath update

4/24/10

Been a looong week.

Dessy had her kids right on her due date, also. I had on the calendar, "18th or 19th" and they were born between midnight and one, officially on the 19th. We could tell she was close, so we put her in a stall by herself. The signs, for those interested, are a suddenly larger udder (this is quite variable among goats) and a softening of the ligaments alongside the tailbone. Any other time these ligaments are like pencils in size and firmness, but you can feel them softening within 24 hours of labor, softening within a few hours of labor to where you can't even feel them.

Farra and I hung hammocks in the barn to be close so we wouldn't miss this one. Atira and Seth wanted to be wakened. It was my first attempt to sleep in a hammock (which the rest of the family loves - just me and the baby, sometimes Royal, in the tent when we camp out) and was miserable, hard on my back. I would have been better stretched out in the straw. I loved being in the barn, though, with all it's sounds and smells (yes, smells! A well kept barn doesn't smell bad). I returned to the house around 11pm, Farra waking me just after midnight with the report that Dessy was bleating and restless.

Seth decided he'd rather sleep, but Atira supposed it'd be worth it so she joined us in the barn. Bobby, awakened by our commotion, couldn't get back to sleep so he came down after a bit. What a neat time... I'm so glad my family got to see this. We had sheep when I was a preteen, and I was there when Dessy had her first, so I wasn't totally new to it. (I remember even sleeping in SMSU's ag barn when my aunt was a student there, waiting for a mare to foal. It was fun, but she didn't deliver on our watch.)

We watched the whole thing and I'll share some photos in a minute. I don't think Dessy was pleased with the audience (I kept comparing it to my labor/births and how I would feel. I asked Bobby at one point, "Is this what my labors are like from the outside? Just waiting, wondering how long it's going to take? Gosh, I hope not!" He said no. I think I believe him). The twins are bucks and are the most beautiful goats born here so far. We were kind of disappointed when we came back in the morning and checked the sex, because we would keep a pretty doe. As it is, the males are destined for the table. Anyway, with the cow we won't really need any more female goats. As it is now we'll be milking two this year, three the next, and four after that.

My mom says they didn't keep goats long after they got their milk cow, a Jersey Angus mix (sold to them as a "black Jersey"). I was a baby, my brother was about seven. I can see the sense in that, but we want the goat meat, have property more suited to goats, have buyers for goat milk which fetches a high price around here (buyers for all our extra milk, actually), and have more children who are able to do the goat chores and who need that sort of responsibility. Also, I like goat milk, especially for infants (which, Yahweh willing, I will have more of), and although calves are cute, there is nothing like a pasture of kids! If we get sick of milking only two-teated critters we'll probably switch to strictly meat goats or sheep.

Oh yeah, don't forget the pictures...

just a few minutes later the second was born...

a few minutes after that, the first was up and trying to nurse...

Sunny took over the hammock...

Back out to check on them in the daylight...

a few days later...

He's got his momma's eyes...

(their ears stand up as they grow - there's no Nubian blood here, though I like Nubians.)

We thought we ought not to bother with official names for our table-goats. I was going to call them “buck one” and “buck two”... then, naturally, we added “Tim” in front of each and now have “Tim-buck-one” and “Tim-buck-two.” (Sorry, Tim, it just happened!) Farra came to me the other day saying that Tim-one had fallen into a hole and couldn’t get out. Honestly. And us without Lassie.

Been enjoying a nice spring storm system the last couple days. I was starting to wonder, the ground was becoming so dry! So dry it was less than ideal to dig in the garden. I mowed the other day and have never seen such dust in April! This rain is perfect. Slow, steady, not pouring down. The ground is just soaking it up and none of it’s running off. We finished the barn addition this week and organized everything, hung all the tools. I love having it all decent and I could just spend hours in there playing with our bottle-kids, watching the chicks, petting the dogs and cat and listening to the rain, or finding more improvements to make.

A day or two after the twin bucklings were born we received another call from the friend with the Kikos, asking if we wanted to adopt another newborn buck, which we did. Blue has adopted him, named him “Popcorn,” and I often find her spending time cuddling him in his stall. Farra, however, has again taken care of the middle of the night feedings, just for the first three nights. Since we were able to disbud this little guy, we’ll probably keep him instead of Siegfried, for a hornless herd buck.  Anyway, at least we have options.

Just after Popcorn came to us, less than 24 hours old...

We’re getting enough milk from the two does for all the kids, but none for us, so we have switched the oldest two of the three bottle kids over to milk replacer (partially - I mix it half & half with milk). We’ll keep buying milk from our other friend until the oldest is weaned, then we should be balanced out. Our family needs the milk, too! (I’ve started buying Farra calcium supplements and giving her an extra milk ration to help with her growing pains.) But, we’re considering it an investment in meat, which we will enjoy in the fall. Actually, we may sell one of the bucklings to a family in St. Louis who wants the meat and the butchering experience. We’ll raise it for them, they’ll help with the processing and take it home in paper packages. A nice situation.

This week in the garden... harvesting lettuce - yum! I had such a hard time getting the seed to germinate in the house that I ended up sowing it too heavily in the garden, but the thinnings are tasty. We made it through the winter with a variety of sprouts for fresh eating, so it’s nice to have something else (along with all the wild edibles this time of year!). 40 pounds of potatoes are all up and looking great. Sowed half our 8’x8’ plot of carrots (we’ll reseed once or twice for late summer and fall harvests), an onion bed the same size is in, nearly 60 tomato plants are in, though some are pretty puny and I’m not sure they’ll make it. I also found time to get some herbs and flowers in. They go in among the veggies, to add interest and attract beneficial insects.

My style this year is a combination of intensive raised beds and companion gardening and what I’m learning in Steve Solomon’s book, “Gardening When It Counts,” which is very anti-intensive. In particular we’re using Solomon’s recipe for Complete Organic Fertilizer. So, part of my time is in mixing that up and spreading it, digging up every last shovelful of compost from the last three years and spreading it (not much with goats). Had to actually buy some sacked compost this year. If I do things right, with a cow, I shouldn’t ever have to do that again! Also, I bought the most expensive garden tool I’ve had - a decent hoe. What a difference! Solomon also explains how to keep tools sharp and that has been wonderful. Why did I never think to sharpen a spade?

Did some yard clean up and stacked yet more firewood. Bobby helped some in the evenings. He has been big help with the cow and he and she are getting to be pretty good buddies. I miss him (more than she does) when he’s working away from home, but am grateful for the income. This week turned into an extra special blessing, as he helped an old employer remodel his kitchen. Kelly ended up paying him half again as much as he said he would and also gave him some very expensive tools. Kelly ran his own business for awhile and I guess is now scaling down. I get a kick out of this - nearly all of his tools are black and yellow. Company colors. So he buys mostly DeWalt and Stanely. If it’s blue or green, he doesn’t want it. Whatever blows your hair back, eh? Anyway, he is a very kind and generous man. He also gave us a couple bags of clothes that his little girl had grown out of - perfect for Blue’s birthday today! She’s tickled pink. And dressed in it. HalleluYah, my provider. His wife was my ob/gyn... we didn’t get along well and she hated our home birthing, but she was there if I needed anything. They’re moving to another area of the state now. Kinda wonder what we’ll do if we have another baby? Speaking of (goodnight! I’m really rabbit trailing), not I, but my sister is expecting again. I’m excited for them.

Little Brook playing dress up in some of the clothes...

I fell in love with our good mooly cow when we first got her, then the reality that we had bought an animal that hadn't been handled much set in. I would say that getting kicked helped it set in rather quickly. With any new addition to the family, there are some adjustments. More so when that new addition is a new species.
 When I hurt my back again I was soooo frustrated and asked Bobby if maybe we should sell her. It's hard enough to handle the goats when my back hurts, but at least the children can do all the goat things if I absolutely can't. I know the older children will be able to tackle the cow eventually, but at least not this first year. And if I can't do it, that leaves Bobby. We had a serious talk about it and he assured me that he thought she was still worth the trouble and that he would do anything I was unable to do with her. So far, he has and it's very comforting. You should have heard all the things this guy said he wouldn't do when we moved to the country! Now look at him.

Now that we've gotten used to each other, the cow and I (Bobby's another story entirely), it's much easier. She has settled down into the routine of being tied out in the morning and coming to the barn at night and I realize that when she's frisky it's because she wants to play, not hurt me! That only makes it slightly more reassuring and I certainly don't intend to romp around with an 830 pound T-bone on hooves, but I haven't the fear that she's out to get me. She can be ornery upon occasion, but time has made her easier to read and although she's tried two or three times, she hasn't kicked me again. She definitely resents being made to wait to go out to graze.

My ultimate goal is to never have to mow. It's so wasteful!

I'm relieved to have the barn set up for her now. We'll get into a good routine before she calves. She is going to work out very well for us, I think. She doesn't mind the dogs at all, the children, the chickens pecking around her feet, the goats. From very near the beginning she has never shied from us, just stood waiting for us to approach, sometimes coming to us. This is good - the rest of her herd definitely had that flight distance thing going on. I can walk up to her when she's tied out, pet her all over, mess with her udder, and she doesn't mind. I don't think we'll have too much of a problem milking her. Except my hands and arms might give out! I loathe having to milk a first timer... their teats start off so small! Takes a lot of work and a lot of time to milk those tiny things. I hope it's not as bad with cows as with goats.

Now, if we can just get some fencing up for her and the soon-to-be calf...

Anyway, you can see I’ve been busy this week. On top of everything, it’s co-op week, with cheese and butter from one, bulk grains and other dry goods from another, frozen organic veggies from yet another. I’m so thankful for my options. My garden is large, but not remotely big enough to feed my family. I wonder if we’ll ever be able to provide even half of our own food? Maybe, but I imagine we’d all lose some weight. Ha. Think I’ll just be thankful for what I have.

Now, although most of our days have gone smoothly as the children and I work side by side to accomplish various tasks, I’m going to be honest and tell you that I have worked myself too hard and not spent enough time focused on more important things. Within fifteen minutes of getting out of bed I was milking goats, and I wouldn’t stop working until bedtime. Milking, feeding kid goats, then making breakfast, tying the cow out, organizing the children into a house-cleaning crew, then a gardening crew, a cow watering-crew, lunch crew, dish crew, laundry crew, garden crew, barn crew, dinner crew, dish crew, bed crew... It’s a lot to do, but it’s really not too much unless your attitude is off. If I let any little thing get to me, it snowballs rapidly with all there is to do. Yesterday I reached my breaking point and around lunchtime found myself up the hill, sitting on a rock by the creek, weeping violently. Just ten minutes with my Father and I came back down the hill a new momma, free and unburdened, ready for the tasks of the day. When will I learn to walk in this freedom every minute of the day? At least there's been progress over the years.

Have you ever read the parable of the sower and thought about which seed you are? I have all to often seen myself as the seed sown among thorns, choked by the cares of this world and the deceitfulness of riches. I guess only Yahweh knows. Maybe the fact that I am aware of this and constantly battle it is a good sign?

Here’s something else I’ve been chewing on...

It’s difficult, sometimes, to have beliefs that are so different from the people around us. If these doctrinal differences are ever discussed, you can end up feeling very defensive. You can focus too much on the doctrine instead of on your relationship with Yahweh. I’m all for good doctrine, but to be in a position to constantly defend yours is very tiring and distracting! And the enemy knows it and exploits this weakness. This is why it’s just EASIER to be around people you agree with, the walls are down and you can help each other with heart issues. Alas, easy isn’t always what Yahweh wants for us.

This is the work Yahweh is doing in my heart at this time. I believe I have it in me to overcome, to climb the walls of doctrinal differences (not necessarily change doctrine) and to learn and grow with anyone He puts in my path. To forgive, not to judge... to let love cover a multitude of sins. I believe this is what he wants of me at this time. Maybe he wants it of all of us. I don’t know what it looks like. I just believe the path doesn’t have to be so strife-ridden.

He is softening my heart and also showing me that I don’t have to make this happen, I'm just to trust him. This really hit me today when as I was struggling with the pain of knowing that not everyone on the path feels this way. Some would rather push us away than try to understand us or walk with us. I have been feeling like this was all my fault, that if I had just done this or thought that or could make this point... that I haven't been "pious" enough to make it work... but I feel a freedom from this today. For one, I’m not the only person involved, for another, it might not be Yahweh’s timing or his plan to begin with. The important thing is that each person is examining their hearts and are open to Yahweh’s leading, walking as our brother and king, Yahshua, walked. I just want to be close to Yahweh and yield to his spirit, not hard in my heart and whining over my hurts, like I have been.