The Bigger Half

Just another test

2011-10-28T08:44:00.001-05:00

1 2 3

BTW

2010-08-15T18:51:00.000-05:00

I have moved. If you enjoy my controversial rants, emotional upheavals, goats and children, (and you're sure you're not one of the reasons I moved) you can email me for the web address. Shalom!

blogging style

2010-07-20T09:07:00.001-05:00

Have you noticed my blogging pattern? For the most part I post entries when I'm really up or have been really down... not much in between stuff. Not much of the every day stuff. It probably gives my blog a very intense flavor. "This lady is crazy moody" flavor.

I actually don't blog much any more because of a few particular people I know that regulary check my blog. Do you ever get blogging shyness? It's hard to pour out your life when it's being watched by those who constantly critique you or those who like to be a fly-on-the-wall but who wouldn't pick up the phone to have a friendly chat with you if you called them. Spies-on-the-wall.

I've considered starting a new blog somewhere and not telling them where I've moved, but I do have several regular readers I wouldn't want to leave behind. I keep coming around to the thought that these kind of people are in my life, not just my blog, and if I can't blog freely, with confidence, maybe I don't need to be blogging at all. What do I have to hide?

So, that's why I haven't been blogging much. You can't help but hide a bit from those who have hurt you. Maybe I should blog somewhere else, build my confidence back up.

Freedom's Just Another Word For Nothing Left To Lose

2010-07-13T09:51:00.000-05:00

I've been meditating on some things this morning and quickly, painfully, realized my need for repentance.

You know how I said, in the last entry, how my heart wasn't in my garden? I realized when I wrote it that it went deeper than that. Not regarding the garden, but my heart condition. Where has my heart been? I haven't been enjoying half of what I usually enjoy... it's been so long since I spent a day just relaxed and joyful. Stress is the only constant in my life right now. That right there is a clue that my heart isn't right! The answer is in my last entry.

I went to Matt. 6 today to remind myself what I always need to remind myself, that tomorrow has enough trouble of it's own. What stuck out this time, however, was the bit about serving Yahweh or Mammon.

I haven't been able to shake the realization that my focus has been on Bobby's work and where the next "paycheck" would come from. And the realization that I have been doing this so long I really don't know how to focus on anything else. ... This is so ugly. I hate to share it here. But it's real. And you deserve real.

What else have I been doing but serving Mammon? I manage to distract myself from it throughout my day, sometimes, by cleaning the house or focusing on the kids, spending some time in the word and thanksgiving, but then it's there again, eating at me...

Scripture says that fretting leads only to evildoing... ONLY. Only. It doesn't work the way you want it to, even sometimes.

It's a very bleak existence, living from paycheck to paycheck. Focusing on it. Feeling relaxed only when the most pressing bill is paid. I hate it. I hate it and I don't know how it got this way. Someday I'll wake up and see that my whole life is over and I spent it all worrying about tomorrow and not living for "today." That terrifies me. I've been asking myself for the last couple days... "What else was there...? Before this trial-by-paycheck, what did I live for?" I'm reminded of the scene in "The Labyrinth" when Sarah eats the poisoned fruit and she's wandering around, knowing there was something she was doing, something important, she just can't seem to remember...

In case you've never been here, it's not just about how are we going to get such-and-such bill paid... that always seems to work out somehow, no big deal. The real stress comes with wondering if and how we should change our situation to be more manageable. Our mortgage isn't much, but maybe we should sell and start over with something we can buy outright. Maybe we should move to an area where there's more work. Scripture says that if you have food and clothing, to be content... it doesn't say anything about a roof and walls, warm beds, school books, cooking utensils, goats, land to garden on... are we over-reaching? This is where I stall. Every single time. I begin to despair and then manage to remind myself to take things one day at a time. Our Father will show us what he wants for us... and just try not to hold tightly to these things in the mean time.

I don't really care about the money. I know better. I know what's important, I do. It just... I guess it just sometimes gets away from you.

Here's the hopeful part. I have not been satisfied with this way of living. This is good news. Really. I think there is hope as long as I am never satisfied with what is not of my Father. It's when you settle for less and become content without him that you're in trouble.

Also, my Father has not left me alone to figure this out. He is ready with light, ready with guidance, ready when I am. Things will get better as I rest in him and stop fretting and begin really trusting. I'm so thankful for his healing, his forgiveness, his word and his spirit to guide me. And I'm thankful that many of the decisions that need to made really don't rest on me at all, but on Bobby, and praying for him is certainly easier than trying to figure things out myself.

I will live free today.

Life Update

2010-07-12T17:42:00.002-05:00

Still alive. Thought I should write something because the cow post being the most recent post was bugging me. We sold Molly and George last Monday, before George was even a week old. I'm a little bummed in a way and may never clear this slight sense of failure, but I can say I have no regrets. We gave it a shot, our best, and it wasn't for us. Ya gotta know when to fold 'em.   Okay, one regret... in the hoop-la, I somehow neglected to tell Farra exactly what was going on (I thought she picked up on the preceedings, I was wrong) and she didn't get to tell the critters goodbye. *gulp* Ya ever have one of those moments as a mom...?

I have to tell you, though, that our daily responsibilities are a far sight easier now. I haven't heard anyone say, "Gee, I miss milking the cow. I miss the cowpies in the yard and all the flies." The older girls and I take turns milking the one goat and feeding the rest of the critters.  The first morning I milked our goat after the few days with the cow... I laughed and laughed because it was just SO EASY. Picture a goat kid compared with a calf and you can imagine the difference in their sucking reflexes... it's obvious in their teats. You really don't have to work that hard to get milk from a goat. I know people milk cows all the time and good for them, I say. But, at Molly's new home they milk by machine.

The couple buying her asked me to get up a little earlier to milk, since they were coming from KC (the night before), then going to the Springfield area to pick up another cow/calf, then home to KC by evening chores. I did, but they were late anyway. Oh well. They were very impressed with Molly and the calf and even sent us an email when she settled in to tell us what a good job we did training her. That felt so good! Also, they said Molly was enjoying the lush grass - they noticed how dry it was down here in the southern part of the state - they've been getting all our rain up there.

We previewed Molly's new home here: hiddenhillsfarms.com   The family is doing something I greatly admire - sustainable agriculture. Joel Salatin style.  And apparently doing it well. They sell 100% grass fed milk (now 10, I think), beef, pastured poultry and pork, as well as some organic produce.   She seemed a lot like me in her thinking, so I got to wondering what the difference was, why am I not doing the same sort of thing? The difference is that her husband shares that vision. Mine appriciates it, I think, but that's as far as it goes. It's not the life for him. I can deal with that. He watches Food Inc., wows and agrees all the way through, drinking his Mt. Dew and eating his Reeses Pieces. With Bobby and I so different, I am often amazed and grateful that I get to farm at all, and that he will help me build barns and till gardens. Another reason to give careful thought in choosing a spouse....

Haven't been in the garden much. Watered some, marveled at how terrible the tomatoes were doing (splitting, rotting), how tall weeds grow when you ignore them, how silly of me to plant this or that that we never even harvested before it went bad. My heart is not in the garden this year, even when my body is. We've finally gotten some rain this last week... not just a spit and sputter, but drenching rains, wonderfully rains. Beautiful, but not violent, storms. Still some in the forecast. It's been cooler, but HUMID and ugh... I'm just thankful for the little AC unit Bobby found for our bedroom (free - out of a wrecked camper while he was scrap'n). This pregnant lady can get restful naps, now. Some days it feels like the only thing I do well.

This summer is hard. Harder because this last winter was so hard and we so much looked forward to the relief that warm weather would bring regarding work. But there has been so little work. We wouldn't have been able to pay the mortgage if we hadn't sold the cow and though we've tasted that in some winters, never in the summer.   Even my dad, who has always been able to get work as a carpenter somewhere has barely found enough.  That makes it a little less hopeful looking for us! But Bobby has enjoyed scraping. It's one of his favorite ways to earn money. There are so many old farms with those dumps in the woods, filled with old steel. The price of steel has dropped somewhat as we've gone into summer, but most days it's still worth it for Bobby to go out. I don't think we'd ever be able to live off it, but it helps and it keeps him busy. The hardest days are those when he's home and we have time and no money and we don't know where or when the next work will come from. The waiting is so hard.

I was looking through old photos on my laptop a couple weeks ago and saw one that stopped me, made me think. Bobby and a 5 or 6yr old Farra were sitting at our kitchen counter at our house in Ozark. They were snacking on blueberry muffins, taking a break from work. Bobby didn't remember, but I did. They had been out raking leaves. Bobby wasn't able to find work, so he took Farra and hit up the neighborhood for leaf-raking jobs. The first (and only, I think) job they got, the old couple paid them and threw in a box of food, odds and ends of non-perisables, blueberry muffins. Blessing and humbling.   My point, though, and what got me, looking back, is that this way of life is not new for us. I have been telling myself it's because of this "recession" that we're having such a hard time, but it's not, not really. We have lived this way our entire married life. The realization was at once depressing and encouraging. Depressing, I need not explain, encouraging because we have LIVED this way for nearly 11 years. We have not gone hungry, not been cold, always had a roof over our heads, etc. We have always had friends, always been blessed by each other, always been rich in character.... this is our life. It has worked for us.  Maybe a different choice of mates would have netted me a more "comfortable" life, and there's a lesson in that (that I will somehow, delicately share with my children as they grow), but I wouldn't trade mine now for all the world. There is a sense of security in my life that comes from somewhere other than my husband's job. This was no mistake on my Father's part... he knows who and what I would be if I didn't need to depend upon him for my daily bread.

There. That's my life update for now.

Our Cow-Milking Adventure Begins

2010-07-03T09:13:00.000-05:00

Just when I had given up hopes that Molly would ever have her calf (we made up a nice little song about our "perpetually pregnant cow" to the tune of "Popeye, the Sailor Man"), she FINALLY went into labor Monday evening. I figured a pre-dawn baby, but when I checked on her just before 2am, the calf was lying about fifteen feet away from her, cleaned up but wet. Must have missed it by 20 minutes. Some cow midwife I am. I discovered it was a bull calf (will be nice to have the meat next fall, but we had hoped for a heifer to sell), woke Farra (who was sleeping VERY soundly in a hammock neaby, determined not to miss the calving!), then we left them to themselves until morning. What fun to show him off to all the children before breakfast!

Apparently today's dairy stock are such high producers that one wee calf can't handle all the milk, so you must help them out from the beginning. We took Molly's breakfast and a stool to the field and she let us take turns milking some colostrum out onto the ground. Not tied or anything... she is so gentle and tolerant!

Last week we sold two of our goats, one we were milking and one 3mo doeling, downsizing in preparation for the workload that would come with Molly’s freshening. I was toying with the idea of parting with all of the goats, but Farra and Atira talked me into keeping their does (one we’re milking, the other we could be next year), and we have a handful of bucklings we will butcher in the fall. This works for now and to prove themselves (at my suggestion - I wish I could say they thought of it themselves!), the older girls have taken over the goat chores.

It was with a mixture of eagerness and some little bit of apprehension that I looked toward Molly's first real milking that evening. I had only ever milked one cow, and only for a few minutes, and found it very different from the goats. Much harder than I expected. I told myself that Molly would be easier.

I nearly cried myself to sleep that night, frustrated and disappointed. Milking Molly was nothing like milking a goat! It hurt my back to be hunched over, her tail was constantly in my face (until we tied it to her leg) and the sheer volume of milk to be expressed took it's toll on my arms... like milking four goats in a row. Not to mention, goats don't pee and poop while being milked! (At least, no goat I know of.) She never really kicked, not those quick, jumpy jabs a goat gives, but did shuffle her feet a bit. I figured some of these tricks she'd grow out of, but I was sure it was too hard for me. Bobby had to finish milking her, and even he declared it very difficult (his hands being bigger than mine, he had a harder time with her first-timer teats). I was sure we had to sell her, and quickly, before she got mastitis or something from not being milked out completely.

I posted her for sale, put up flyers the next day, and sent an email to all friends I thought might know someone who might be interested.

I might have overreacted.

Pregnant women should not make decisions.

I had quite a few people interested, no one with money.

Bobby milked the next morning. We were giving the 3qts of colostrum to the dogs, cat, chickens, compost heap. Bobby began milking that evening and seemed to be having a difficult time, and I had a couple ideas to try out, so I gave it a try again. Most of these ideas came from my re-reading of "Keeping A Family Cow." Mostly the section, "My Aching Back." It was encouraging.

The height of your milk stool makes a huge difference. I switched over to sitting on a milk crate, which was maybe two inches taller than the stool we were using. That helped my back. I try to imagine this position with an 8 month pregnant tummy and I think I can do it. I'm also considering a platform to raise Molly up 3 or 4 inches.

If you spray your cow down with fly spray first (we're using generic mint mouthwash - it works!), the tail switching isn't so bad. Also, you learn quickly where to position your head so as not to take it in the face.

Keep a bucket handy for when she urinates and place a shovel at her rear when she defecates. It helps keep the place clean, but mostly it's suppose to help break her of the habit. She definitely is disturbed by not hearing her usual "plop," and feeling these instruments against her legs, but it hasn't stopped her yet.

Relax. Breathe. This is quite a work out! It helps to breathe as with any work out - inhale deeply through the nose (ugh, my poor, pregnant nose!), exhale slowly through the mouth. And, I must remind myself that a cow isn't a goat and I'm not going to go down to the barn and "do chores real quick" anymore. But, as with anything, there's a nice quiet sort of groove you get into after a bit and it's good.

Bobby's mild exclamations over how quickly I milk (the goat experience is handy) are very energizing, too. There might not be much foam, but there's always some!

The next morning (yesterday), Bobby suggested I begin milking while he milked the goat (Atira was relieved of her duty as she wasn't feeling well), then he could take over if I needed him to. You nursing mommas known how it's harder to get your baby to latch on when you're engorged... it's like that. My hands have an easier time expressing that first bit of milk than his. Anyway, we did it this way and I finished her up all by myself, before she was even done with her grain (which is when she pulls her nasty tricks). What a boost that was for me!

I admitted it was foolish to judge cow-milking based on my first real experience on a first time cow. You really must give these things time. I went ahead and removed the ads. Don't know if I can keep this up, but I'm willing to try and Bobby is willing to cover me.

We took the colostrum from the forth milking and tried to make "calf's milk custard." It didn't work. Didn't set up. So, we got out the ice-cream maker and the children are enjoying calf's milk frozen custard instead.

I'd read that the 7th milking is the first that's good for table use, the colostrum being all done. We were pretty excited about this. And boy did her milk come in! Right on time. Last night I milked and milked and milked... about a gallon and a quart, then Bobby milked another quart and a half... Goodnight, but that's a lot of milk! Time to start calling my want-to-be customers. It took forever. My arms were like jelly.

I milked her out myself this morning, though it took a long time. It's satisfying. I admit that right now I'm of the opinion that it would be less strenuous to milk four goats morning and night, but when you see that cream rising on your milk it's worth it.

A refreshing break

2010-06-21T23:21:00.001-05:00

I'm feeling good tonight. You really can't understand how good a normal day feels to me without knowing how miserable I've been recently. My general feelings of despondency the last few months were heightened immediately by pregnancy (in fact, my emotions were the first clue - I became pregnant in early May). This hasn’t had much to do with circumstances as much as my own, um, “inner turmoil.” The best of circumstances look bleak when you don’t care to give thanks for them. I prayed daily for strength to put one foot in front of another.

There is one circumstance, however, the heat, which has had a tremendous affect on me. I have experienced the worse morning-afternoon-evening sickness I’ve ever had. I have felt overwhelmed by everything. Just... everything. I have awakened every morning (except this last Sabbath, which was a deliciously cool, fall-like 66°) in absolute dread of the day, especially the heat. My stomach turns with nausea, cramps with the heat, my back has been hurting and I can’t help but think how much worse it will get as pregnancy progresses.......

It’s been bad.

I’ve been tempted to write, but have had nothing uplifting to say, only complaints and despairing emotions. Not a fun place to be. I've had bright spots; phone conversations with dear sisters, refreshing visits with friends, but as soon as they leave or I hang up the phone, the glow fades.

My faith has not been shaken, but strengthened. A friend shared with me yesterday something that encouraged her - the difference between faith and optimism. Just think on that for a bit. A light went on in my head. Yes! My optimism has taken a leave of absence, my ability to brush off the present with "this too shall pass," but my faith remains. Things might not get better, but I will always trust Yahweh, I will always hope in his Kingdom. I hope you can wrap your mind around the difference, even if my words don't do it justice.

Today, as usual, I awoke with dread. Another long, hot day ahead. I was sweating and feeling ill within ten minutes of rising. I went through the motions - barn chores, breakfast, then a short rest in the bedroom, with the fan on high. Crying softly as I looked out the window at the overgrown garden, the beautiful flowers and butterflies that I don't have the heart to enjoy (the garden is my sore point, I guess. A visible, obvious sign of my weakness, my inability to "get it together"). Crying softly over this pregnancy and feeling guilty, wishing I could focus on the blessed child ahead and not on the pain. Crying to my elohim, "I will not let you go. Please... do this work in me. I love you and trust you."

How do I explain this? This has not been a hopeless sort of, "Life sucks, kill me now" sort of despair. I wish I could say I have suffered strongly, quietly, without taking it out on those around me, but I can't. It feels like I'm riding out a storm. In the ocean. The ship has wrecked and all I have is the end of a rope (the hem of his garment). Waves crash on me, all I can do is hold on. I can scream and kick, weep and moan, but it doesn't change anything. The waves calm sometimes and the sun beats down and I'm too tired to move, not that there's anything I can do to change my situation. I just hold onto the rope. Don't let go of the rope. The rope is my lifeline, the substance of things hoped for. I didn't know faith could be so tangible, until now.

Back to today. No particular thing happened, but my burden began to lighten (sorry, changing allegories here). I ran some errands in town and realized, on the way in, that the heat didn't seem as hot (though it was). I saw past my discomfort and took genuine pleasure in my surroundings, the handsome countryside. Slowly. Gradually. There were a few little things that happened in town that helped, but... I dunno. I've had plenty of little things, it's just that today I was more receptive, for reasons I suppose only my Father knows. I like to think on these things... they make me smile. I have been entirely too focused on the bad things.

...The fact that I can send my 10yr old daughter into the feed store to buy a couple bales of hay. They know us and love us there. I can't say we are good friends, because those are so few and far between, but they are good acquaintances. Casual. Reliable. And the fact that my daughter is willing and eager to do this - I was terrified to go into a gas station to pay for gas when I was 18 (when I finally got up the guts to get my license). I hid in my mom's proverbial skirts when I was Farra's age.

... An older man in Walmart surprised us, made us laugh out loud in sheer delight. This was absolute silliness (right up our alley), but as we approached him from behind (he was in one of those motorized carts) to pass him - he hadn't even turned to look at us, mind you - he spoke to each one of the children as though he knew them and was thrilled to see them. He quickly assigned them each a name as we passed. "George! Fred! Clancy! Elwood! Burt! Louise!" That was it. It happened in just a moment and we turned the corner of the aisle in stitches, having rewarded him with smiles all around. (Commit REGULAR acts of kindness. Commit random acts of silliness.)

...When I stopped in our small, totally personable hardware store for some 1/2 gallon jars, it was again impressed on me... I love these small town stores, these reliable, comfortable people and relationships. Awhile back I had them order lye for me so I could try my hand at making soap. One older employee thought that was really neat and requested a bar to try out. He wasn't in when I delivered it, so today was the first time I'd seen him since. "Are you the lady that brought me the soap." Yes. "I really liked it."

... Our new librarian is a very interesting dear of a man. He is eager to get books for us and even suggests things we might find interesting. We've been discussing the lives of Laura Ingalls Wilder and her daughter. When I stopped by today I parked out front and let the older girls run in to drop off books and request some they knew he could get from another library. They came back smiling from their short visit with Bill and had a handful of papers for me with a sticky note on it, "For Kaleesha Williams." It was an article Bill had told me of, about Laura and her daughter, Rose. It was pretty interesting, but I was just very uplifted that he had thought to print it for me. It's a pleasant feeling to know people are thinking about you. And not thinking bad things.

We had quick junk food for lunch and I put a roast in the crockpot for dinner, then took a nap. It was hot, but the heat still wasn't bothering me very much. We do have an AC in the bedroom upstairs, but it doesn't do a very good job when it gets this hot. However, it does take the edge off for naptime, so we keep it going from morning until after naps, and I just stretch out on one of the kids bunk beds. Royal and Little went to sleep without much ado (Little usually throws everything out of her crib, including her bottom sheet, and runs around and sings and does belly flops and all sorts of antics to make Royal laugh. Cute, but hard to sleep through).

Bobby and the older kids worked on cleaning up the yard while I rested. After naps, a snack, moving kinda slow because of the heat but feeling noticeably better than usual, then I grabbed my apron and sunhat, a jug of ice water, and we headed out to the garden. With dinner in the crockpot it freed me up considerably. I'm going to try to this more often because it's only cool enough to work in the garden in the morning, when my back hurts too much, and the evening, when I'm usually busy with dinner and barn chores, clean up and bedtime.

I'm pleased to announce that we have reclaimed our tomato patch. Bobby mowed all the paths down, I cut suckers and pulled weeds while Farra tied plants to stakes. Atira and Seth laid down a nice, thick mulch of straw to keep the weeds down. (The littlest Willies splashed in the kiddie pool.) The plants were seriously set back by their neglect, but I feel pretty good about them now. The plants are heavy with green fruit and I found myself daydreaming about fresh tomatoes, especially on pizza! I had forgotten that all the garden work pays off in delicious food. (Well... I admit to thinking of the potatoes and corn and how I wouldn't get to eat much of them because of the gestational diabetes.) We harvested our red cabbage - again, a little too late and the heads were starting to open and get tough, but enough for our meager cabbage needs. And the goats loved the extra leaves.

I actually ENJOYED working in the garden this evening. When dinner was set on the table and everyone seated but me (of course), Seth, unbidden, jumped up to pull my chair out for me to sit down. I don't know if he's ever even seen this done! My heart swelled at this sweet gesture. Even Bobby was touched. As Bobby blessed the meal, tears of overwhelming gratitude began to fall from my eyes and I had to excuse myself for a few minutes. I wept and wept in my bedroom, though much different from the sad tears of this morning. A floodgate of thanksgiving to my Father for his many blessings, for lifting my burdens this day. And repentance for my ingratitude. A deep part of this was an understanding that tomorrow I may be lost in the stormy sea again, but that that's okay, as long as I cling to that faith. It's alright, if he's in control. If this is what I need, it's what I need, and I will rest and learn and grow in Him.

Now, it's eleven o'clock and I should be sleeping. Farra's evening report on our hugely pregnant heifer is that she is leaking milk. Her bag has just gotten bigger and bigger and every night we expect a calf (Farra sleeps out in her hammock, near her, determined not to miss a thing), and we have had no other signs - and no calf! So, I should get some sleep, just in case I have to get up in the wee hours.....

Goodnight, people!

A Peek At MO's Raw Milk Battle

2010-06-10T10:47:00.001-05:00

I don't get out much and certainly don't watch TV news and unless I'm looking for something I don't even read internet news, so I'm a little slow in learning about the battle regarding raw milk, right here in my own state. It came to my attention first when I read a recent article in the Countryside & Small Stock Journal. The author reported the specifics of a few cases, one of which involved a family here in Missouri, the Berchards. When I lived in the Springfield area, I had the chance to visit the Berchard farm with a friend and was blessed by this sweet family who had a passion for good, home-grown food. This same family is now under attack for selling raw milk, which is perfectly legal in our state. I just found the following blog post and thought I'd share the link, for those interested in the story or the battle: Berchard Family Under Attack

Laura Ingalls Wilder on being a farm wife

2010-06-09T12:56:00.000-05:00

I love our new librarian, Bill. He has been eager to get to know us and help us enjoy the library. It's a small library and so we make good use of the inter-library loan system. He's always asking what he can get for us next and recommending books and authors he thinks we might enjoy. One day when we were in there browsing he approached me with a book called "Farm Journalist," a collection of Laura Ingalls Wilder's writings from the Missouri Ruralist. "Thought you might be interested in this."

I'd never read anything of hers outside the Little House books and was kind of skeptical because I know she was considered somewhat a feminist, as well as being the head of Missouri's Eastern Star oganization (Freemasonry for women, if you will). But so far I've been quite tickled with the book. The writing isn't fantastic (I understand her daughter did the majority of the actual writing for the Little House books), but it's not bad. And feminism a hundred years ago is nothing like what it is today. Mostly I identify with her as a Missourian (transplants, both of us) and as a busy farm wife.

The following one something that hit the spot, as I'd been contemplating this very thing during the few days before I read it....

From Laura Ingalls Wilder, Farm Journalist, page 25-26

One thing is most important if we (farm wives) expect to keep rested and fit to do our best and that is not to worry over the work nor to try to do it before the time comes. The feeling of worry and strain caused by trying to carry the whole week's work at once is very tiring. It doesn't pay to be like the woman of years ago, in old Vermont, who opened the stairway door at 5 o'clock on Monday morning and called to the hired girl: "Liza! Liza! Hurry up and come down! Today is wash day and the washing not started; tomorrow is ironing day and the ironing not begun; and the next day is Wednesday and here's the week half gone and nothing done yet."

Better for a little while each day to be like the tramp who was not at all afraid of work, yet could lie down right beside it and go to sleep. Slipping away to some quiet place to lie down and relax for 15 minutes, if no longer, each day rests both mind and body surprisingly. This rest does more good if taken at a regular time and the work goes along so much better when we are rested and bright that there is no time lost.

Change is rest! How often have we proved this by going away from our work for a day or even part of a day, thinking of other things and forgetting the daily round for a little while. On coming back the work is taken up with new interest and seems much easier.

If it is not possible to go away, why not let the mind wander a little when the hands can do the task without our strict attention? I have always found that I did not get so tired, and my day seemed shorter when I listened to the birds singing or noticed, from the window, the beauties of the trees or clouds. This is a part of the farm equipment that cannot be improved upon, though it might be increased with advantage. Perhaps some day we will all have kitchens like the club kitchen lately installed in New York, where everything from peeling the potatoes to cooking the dinner and washing the dishes is done by electricity, but the birds' songs will never be any sweeter nor the beauties of field and forest, of cloud and stream, be any more full of delight, and these are already ours.

Interesting

2010-06-01T20:41:00.000-05:00

Last week when I was studying the life of Yahshua, I thought about these things...

The good news (gospel) of the kingdom cannot solely be about Yahshua's death and resurrection, as is often taught today, because he was preaching it, as were John the Baptist and the disciples, before his death. So what is the good news?

Likewise, we find forgiveness of sins before his death, even through the old testament.

Summer

2010-06-01T20:38:00.000-05:00

It's not officially summer yet, but the summer heat is settling in, here in southeast Missouri.

Things I dislike about summer:

Heat and humidity so high that your clothes constantly stick to you and it makes you too lethargic to do anything not related to cool water. And weeding the garden. And bugs. Especially seed ticks and mosquitoes. And people appearing in public with as much skin showing as possible.

Things I like about summer:

Plants a' growin', making a rich, luscious landscape, pleasant to the eyes, especially contrasting a bright blue sky with fluffy clouds, or a dark stormy one (oh, I love those storms!). Plants, feeding my family and feeding my critters which feeds my family, keeping us pleasantly (and sometimes not-so-pleasantly, admittedly) busy.

Birds singing, even at 5 o'clock in the morning. Especially after seven or eight in the evening when I'm winding down from my day's work and I can sit on the deck and listen to my wood thrushes (I'm sure my Father made them just for me, I love them so) and take in the cool(er) evening air.

Daylight. In the winter time it seems unreal to think of daylight lasting from about 5am to 9pm and I fear that when I have it I take it for granted, missing the sun terribly when it's dreary and grey out.

Not having to bundle up to go outside. Or in the house. The winter coats, hats, mittens, gloves, scarves and boots that clutter up our entry way all get put away and are replaced by "creek clothes" and towels hanging on the deck rail.

Mowing. I like to mow. Don't get to do much of it now, because we tie the cow out and she does a mighty fine job (if you don't mind cow pats in the yard, which I don't).

Water... ahh... my favorite. I so love water. I love to stand in the garden and gulp down cool water. I love to trip over to the spigot and let the cold well water splash over my hands, arms, face, or use the hose if I'm in the garden, watering anyway. You just can't beat our sweet well water! I love to sit in the creek and cool off with the children. The older three have been privileged this year with being able to swim in the pool at the bottom of the falls by themselves. It's not even up to the youngest head among them, but it's deep enough to swim and splash and play "Milo and Otis" (their version of the "Marco Polo" of my childhood). They spend an hour or two down there nearly every afternoon and almost all day on Sabbaths in nice weather. I can hear them playing, though I can't see them unless I walk down there, and they can hear me when I whistle for them and promptly reply with a loud, "COMMIIING!" Sometimes I sit on the rocks and watch them play and I just ooze contentment. I am so incredibly thankful for this creek, this property, and we never enjoy it like we do when the weather warms up.

I love having the windows open every day, fresh air circulating the house with ceiling fans and sometimes a box fan and/or the attic fan. No AC for us.

Kid goats born in the spring are still jumping and playing with each other as they follow their mommas around. Any day now we'll have a calf to add to the mix. All this also means gallons of fresh milk a day for gulping down ice cold, cheese making, and ice cream.

Work. Good, physical work for the kids and I that make us sleep so well at night and keep us healthy. Paying work for Bobby that is often scarce in winter when things slow down (drat Christmas).

Good times and noodle salad. (Name that movie!)

.... I guess summer's not too bad...

Etc., etc....

Scattershooting on a May evening...

2010-06-01T20:35:00.000-05:00

Wrote this early last week and intended to write more, but I didn't. Thought I'd share anyway.
----------------------------------

Scattershooting on a May evening...

The thought occurred to me t' other day that I am among what I suppose to be a significant minority of people in the world... Have YOU ever seen your reflection in a bucket of honey?

I am feeling absolutely, incredibly rich this week. It started with the honey thing. I'd come home from my friend Sharla's health food sort of store with my co-op order and was putting away my grains and things. While I was at it, I thought I'd drag out my 5 gal. bucket of local raw honey and refill my small honey jars. I know this is a common thing for some of you large families, but we'd only bought this, our first bucket of honey, about two months ago. I'd dipped into it a couple times and yet this is the first time I noticed my reflection. I immediately was impressed (good heavens, not by my reflection!). How many people in the world can say they've done that? And better yet, how many people have paused to reflect upon their reflection?

You see, it's not all about what you have. It's what you think about what you have, isn't it? Do you stop to enjoy the wonderful world around you? Your home, your conveniences, your friends, your family, your grass, your trees, flowers, pets, food, health, books, sights, smells... the list is endless! Do you realize that every little bit of it is a gift from your heavenly Father?

I have often felt very far from Yahweh, often felt that the Bible wasn't enough. Good, great even, but not quite enough. I've recognized his gifts in different ways over the years but lately I feel like I just woke up to the fact that he really, truly delights in me and is expressing it through his creation, through the particulars of my life and my situation. Above all, I consider that because he's placed me where I am (both physically and spiritually) I have ample opportunity to notice his gifts.

Surely, I hope you know I don't say all this to boast. It is my hope that you, too, will give some thought to his special touch in your life. For me it's the smell of honeysuckle flowers when I walk to the barn with the sun shining on the morning dew, the dogs at my side, the goats eagerly calling, the cow mooing quietly, the chickens clucking contentedly, the ridiculous guineas squawking at nothing.... What a life! I melt inside. The creek, the rippling water falls, the trees around me, the birds singing in the evening, the cool well water. My Father knows how I delight in these things. I feel so unworthy of the life I live, the children and spouse he's given me. How many people can say that they are living the very life they would chose to live? I can! I love it!

I'm interested in so many things. If I had 14 lives I'd not exhaust my interests... to travel, to live by the ocean (or on it!) and study it... to study! So many things to learn and explore and try my hand at! And yet I would chose this very existence out of the lot. As a stay-at-home wife and mother in rural USA, there's so little not open to me. My husband, if he doesn't exactly encourage my interests, doesn't mind my many hobbies and routines. He takes a sort of pleasure in them himself, I dare say. And the children! Oh my, with a family at home there are so many people to share life with that it hardly matters what we do, we always learn and enjoy things.

Backyard Book Burning

2010-06-01T17:39:00.000-05:00

Had another little book burning today. Have you ever done this? Since I first committed myself to Yahweh I have burned many books, among other things. This may sound radical to some of you.

I remember the first time. I stood in my yard, burning my vampire related role-playing-game books in my back yard BBQ grill. They were worth a good deal of money and I had several acquaintances that would have taken them off my hands, but I felt they had to burn. Conviction about the RPGs was the second most prominent in my life when I surrendered my life and said, "Not my will, but yours," (the first was fornication). I believed then, and feel even more strongly about it today, that the escapist aspect of such RPGs as well as the occult nature of the ones I played in particular, are detrimental. Especially to teens. I've been there, I've had friends there, I know. Although not about to go out and set fire to every copy of every RPG book I could find, my conscience wouldn't allow me to let these copies into the hands of anyone else to do any more damage, so they burned. Poorly, I might add. Took quite a bit of page-tearing and stirring.

If we receive children’s books, as we often do by the box, from acquaintances or what have you, I usually pre-read them for my children (voracious readers, those who are able). Farra is getting old enough for me to let her read some things without my pre-reading. Usually I’m somewhat familiar with the story (classics - like Swiss Family Robinson, which she just finished), or if we’ve read and enjoyed other things by the same author. We talk about what she reads and so far it’s been a good situation and stimulated great conversations.

We burned most of the last box we got. I remembered most of them from my childhood. I read TONS of books as a child, with no screening whatsoever. Some simply poorly written twaddle, some about brats disrespecting parents, boy-girl crushes, that sort of thing. I keep a close eye out for “follow your heart, be good to yourself” kind of “inspirational” junk, too.

Before you go thinking we’re entirely rigid, I’ll let you know that we all love the Chronicles of Narnia. I understand the camp is clearly divided regarding these books, but I personally think Lewis does a fine job of introducing morals, faith and responsibilities in a good light, even if he uses fantasy. I don’t mind the works of Tolkien, either. I don’t care for any of the movies, however, with all their made-up love interest garbage. Besides, they just don’t fully capture those qualities listed above that I find in the pages of the books. That said, I wouldn’t necessarily recommend them. There are much better books out there without having to wade through satyrs, witches, goblins and gollums. I just happened to have a fondness of them from my own youth and maybe I’m justifying that when I shouldn’t. At any rate...

I don’t approve of Harry Potter and that’s a whole other story! I’ll spare you my opinion on that point unless asked .(Surprised? I give it so freely on other issues! Time doens't allow me today, you see.)

My younger sister spent more time than I did reading classics during her teen and pre-teen years. When I was in the fifth grade I devoured my first Stephen King book (I think my brother was about that age when he began reading them), “Pet Cemetery,” and from there I was hooked. Within a couple years I had read all of the King books at the library and moved onto other horror/suspense authors. I cringe to admit that I read my share of romance novels, as well, them being so plentiful and easy to get my hands on. Yeah, I read Shakespeare and some other classic stuff, which really impressed the adults in my life, but mostly I ate up the juicy trash, spending so many sleepless nights (and days, as I was no longer in public school and had little else to do) receiving an education in drugs, murder, torture, aliens, theft, sex, the occult, what the world calls “love,” and goodness knows what else. I burned some of those books later, too.

I don’t read much fiction anymore. It’s a wonder I find time to read at all! On my nightstand and in the bathroom are stacks of books, mostly “how-to” books, homesteading stuff, and from time to time a “Christian living” book (most of them make me nauseous, but there are a few gems). I think I read more children’s books than anything! Over the years I’ve picked up a few titles I recognized as being considered classics, or a new book by a familiar, loved author, and Id take a chance. Usually I read it when I have a new baby and have to stay in bed anyway.

Last week I made what, for me, was a terrible mistake. I started one of these “classics.” I couldn’t put it down. I had this gnawing sense that I should. I pushed that feeling aside. Though I did learn some interesting history from an angle I’d never considered, the history was NOT the main thrust of the story and I just HAD to find out what happened to the characters and can’t you kids go play by yourselves for a little while and make yourselves some sandwiches for lunch and I guess the garden can wait and Bobby, why do you laugh at me like that when you see me with my nose in this book again? Uggggghhhh! I feel so dreadful! Spare me having to tell you the name of the book, but it was a long one and has a sequel just as long and I finished the first today and burned them both a couple hours ago without reading a page of the second, repenting, in tears, to Yahweh and my family, for spending so many hours this past week with fictional characters in a trashy novel instead of them.

My point is this: Just because it’s a classic, doesn’t mean it’s worth your time. Be careful what you read and why. This goes for “Christian living” literature, too, for that matter.

Scariest "mom" moment to date

2010-05-26T16:23:00.000-05:00

Little Brook had a seizure yesterday. It was terrifying. She had been fussy all day. The reason why, I couldn’t discern. She ate well, was drinking water and active, following me around the garden in the morning, the house in the afternoon. After lunch I put her down for her nap a little early, as she seemed tired. When I heard her give a little cry upstairs, I went to get her and found her having a seizure and seeming to choke. When she didn’t respond to me I carried her downstairs, had Farra fetch Bobby while I called 911 for the first time in my life. The ambulance was on it’s way. Time dragged on. My baby girl’s eyes rolled and her body was wracked with spasms. She was so feverish. It didn’t seem like she was getting any air. I had no idea what to do and the voice on the phone, although helpful, wasn’t stopping this seizure. It probably only lasted a minute or two… Bobby scooped her into his arms in an upright position and she soon went limp, which I thought at first was better than the seizure, but her breath was so shallow and slow to return, I wasn’t sure! I think the position may have opened her windpipe to where she wasn’t choking.

My heart goes out to my aunt, who, as a single mom, raised my severely epileptic cousin… I remember when they lived with us when she was only three or four and witnessing some of the seizures. My heart also goes out to a dear sister in TN whose daughter, now a teenager, still suffers seizures, I believe as a result of a brain tumor as an infant. There is nothing like watching your baby go through this! I can’t imagine it being a regular thing.

By the time the EMTs arrived, Little had come around, but was emitting this steady, whiny sort of cry and her body was still fairly limp. We’d removed her shirt and had been rubbing her with a wet cloth, to cool her slowly. The EMTs assured me it was probably just a fever-induced seizure, made worse by the sudden summer heat we’ve been experiencing. She took some Tylenol and finally took a drink of water. They gave us a heads up about the sicknesses going around and were overall very sympathetic and encouraging, though there was nothing for them to “do” at that point. She was very limp for a time, and slowly she began to look around her. She just scowled at the EMTs, like they were the reason she was suffering! I knew then that she was alright. About half an hour after they left and the Tylenol kicked in she was willing to leave my arms (I was willing to release her) and she snuggled down in my bed next to Farra and took another nap. In the evenings it’s the coolest room in the house.

Last night she slept in the playpen in our room (her crib is upstairs with the other kids) and poor Bobby hardly slept a wink because he was so worried about her. Every time she’d reposition or make any noise he was right there by her with the flashlight, watching, praying. She has continued with a fever but has no other signs of illness, nor have the rest of us. The night was cool, comfortable for sleeping, and today we were blessed with a delicious downpour and clouds, so it’s muggy but not hot. She’s doing well. I’m very grateful.

Help the Hershburgers

2010-05-25T11:31:00.000-05:00

While we've been enjoying a pleasantly wet spring, our friends in Tennessee have been flooded. The Fournier family that I've written so much about here had two tornadoes touch down on their property as well as receiving 16" of rain within a 30 hour period. The three local creeks/rivers flooded quickly. The Fourniers shared with us about some friends and neighbors of theirs who are Amish but have been shunned by their Amish friends and family because they keep the Sabbath. The Hershberger family lost nearly everything. Please follow this link to learn more and prayerfully consider donating. http://www.helpthehershbergers.com/

Little Willies photo

2010-05-15T09:12:00.000-05:00

Forgot to post these photos from Blue's birthday in April. (Bright pink isn't the norm around here, but the outfit was given to us and made her feel mighty pretty on her special day.)

Ages:

Farra, 10.5

Atira, 8.5

Seth, 6.75

Blue, 5

Royal, 3

Little Brook, 1

A Bit Worth Reading

2010-05-10T12:21:00.001-05:00

Someday I would love to really write about the things I believe and the things I'm studying... but so many have written these things out and I'm not into that re-inventing the wheel thing. I've wanted to share for years the truth about heaven and hell and the coming kingdom, I want to share what we're learning about who Yahshua really was and what his life and death means to us today... Bobby shared the following article with me the other night and I'd love for you to consider it. Except for a few minor details, we agree with it. I don't know the author and therefore can't neccesairly recommend anything else he may have written. (Sorry about the formatting... for some reason things never copy over the way they should. The author's emphasis in bold and italics didn't copy. The original can be read here.)

HAVE YOU HEARD?

By Juan Baixeras

Most Christians are under the impression that what they have come to believe and accept as Christianity, is the same as what Jesus and the Apostles taught. This unfortunately is not the case. Greek philosophy, disastrously crept into the early church and changed some of the most fundamental and important concepts of the faith. What happened in a nutshell is the following: in the time of Jesus and the Apostles, Greek thought was considered to be the most enlightening way of thinking. All the educated people in those days had been educated in Greek philosophy. Greek was considered to be the international language of the civilized world, much as English is today. This is why the New Testament was written in Greek. Platonism was very widespread and very influential in those days. All of a sudden, here comes this man called Paul preaching the kingdom of God and the name of Jesus Christ, and doing incredible miracles in Jesus’ name. In his visits he converts many Greeks and people who have been taught the ways of Greek philosophy their whole lives. These were people who had been pagans for their entire lives up to this point, and now suddenly, they hear Paul’s message of the kingdom and believe the truth. They truly accept the kingdom of God message and Jesus Christ as the Messiah. But when time passes and the Apostles are no longer around, they start reading the Hebrew Scriptures with a Greek mind, that is, a thought process that is influenced by Greek philosophy. Attempting to read Hebrew Scriptures in this way will inevitably lead to the misinterpretation of some of the writings, which is exactly what happened in some key areas. A friend of mine has a great example of what I am speaking about. He says that if an Englishman says "I am mad about my flat." He is actually saying that he is excited about his apartment, but to an American it means that "he is angry about his flat tire." In this case they are both speaking English in the same century, now imagine what can happen when you try to interpret Hebrew writings using Greek philosophy a few centuries later. We must discard the Greek philosophical interpretations and return to what the words originally meant in Hebrew and Greek. Make no mistake, Greek philosophy has different definitions for words than does the Greek language.

By using Greek philosophical definitions the most important message of the Bible has been changed into something that has very few if anything in common with the original message. This is why it is so important for each of us to know God’s word, so that we can avoid being deceived.

"Many false prophets have gone out into the world" (1 Jn 4:1).

"False messiahs and false prophets will arise, and they will perform signs and wonders so great as to deceive, if that were possible, even the elect" (Mt 24:24).

By answering a few of the following questions, you will be able to tell if you have been led astray by false teachings. Believe me, Satan does not want you to hear this message. If you do not find one of the verses which I quote from the Old Testament, please look one verse above or below, some Bibles have a slight difference in numeration in the Old Testament.

What does the Bible say that it takes to have eternal life? 99.999% of people I ask this question to will answer by quoting one of the Scriptures in which Jesus says that whoever believes in him has eternal life, such as Jn 3:16. My next question to them is, believes in him what? The reply is always, that Jesus died for your sins. This answer is only half-correct, but they are missing a very important half. Right now you are probably saying to yourself "what can the other half possibly be?" Let me answer that question with another question.

Why did Jesus come into this world? Again, the reply is; that Jesus came to die on the cross and pay for our sins. Let us take a look at the reason Jesus gives us as to why he came.

Luke 4:43

"To the other towns I must proclaim the good news of the kingdom of God, because for this purpose I have been sent."

Luke 8:1

"Afterward he journeyed from one town and village to another, preaching and proclaiming the good news of the kingdom of God."

Mark 1: 14-15

"After John had been arrested, Jesus came to Galilee proclaiming the gospel of God. This is the time of fulfillment. The kingdom of God is at hand."

The kingdom of God is also referred to as the kingdom of heaven, the gospel of the kingdom, the word of God, the gospel, word of the Lord, the mystery of the gospel, the gospel of Christ, the truth, and the word. These are the main titles that are used to refer to the kingdom of God, there are several more which are used less frequently, But these will suffice for this paper.

The reason Jesus came was to proclaim the kingdom of God message. The reason that he died on the cross was so that we could enter into the kingdom of God. When Jesus says that he who believes in him has eternal life, he is not talking about believing that he died for your sins, he is still alive at this time. Even his Apostles did not understand about the resurrection until the very end.

As Jesus and the Apostles are approaching Jerusalem, Jesus for the third time tries to explain to them why he has to die, and they still do not understand.

"But they understood nothing of this; the word remained hidden from them and they failed to comprehend what he said" (Luke 18:34).

But way before this episode, Luke talks about Jesus sending the 12 Apostles out to preach the kingdom of God:

"And he sent them to proclaim the kingdom of God and to heal the sick"

(Luke 9:2).

Then he sent out the seventy-two to proclaim the kingdom of God:

"cure the sick in it and say to them, "The kingdom of God is at hand for you"

(Luke 10:9).

Obviously the resurrection of Jesus is not a part of the kingdom of God message which Jesus and the Apostles are proclaiming at that time.

The kingdom of God message is the central theme of the Old and New Testament. When Jesus, after the resurrection appears to them for forty days, his main instruction is still on the kingdom of God.

"He presented himself alive to them by many proofs after he had suffered, appearing to them during forty days and speaking about the kingdom of God" (Acts 1:3).

This was the main mission of Jesus and the Apostles, to proclaim the kingdom of God. Here are some more examples:

Matthew 24:14 (Jesus speaking)

"And the gospel of the kingdom will be preached throughout the whole world as a witness to all the nations, and then the end will come."

Acts 8:12

"But once they began to believe Philip as he preached the good news about the kingdom of God and the name of Jesus Christ."

Acts 19:8 (Paul)

"He entered the synagogue, and for three months debated boldly with persuasive arguments about the kingdom of God."

Acts 20:25 ( Paul )

"But now I know that none of you to whom I preached the kingdom during my travels will ever see my face again."

Acts 28:23 ( Paul )

"Bearing witness to the kingdom of God and trying to convince them about Jesus from the law of Moses and the prophets."

Acts 28:31 ( Paul )

"And without hindrance he proclaimed the kingdom of God and taught about the Lord Jesus Christ."

Your next question should be; what is the kingdom of God message, and why have I not heard almost anything on it before? The reason you have not heard much about the kingdom of God message is because this is the message that Satan hates the most, because this is the message that saves you. The kingdom of God message that is prophesied by the Hebrew prophets is summarized as:

"The kingdom of God will be established throughout the world with a rehabilitated Jerusalem as its capital and the Messiah (Jesus, whom God resurrected) as God’s ideal king of Israel (Isarel=Christians) administering an ideal government. It will be a government of peace and justice, and we, the resurrected saints, will help Jesus in its administration."

This is the message that we must believe in. This is the theme of the entire Bible. The reason of the resurrection was not only to atone for our sins, but it was also the proof that Jesus was who he said he was, the Messiah. When Jesus said that whoever believes in him will have eternal life, he was saying that whoever believes that he is the Messiah will have eternal life, not that whoever believes that he died for your sins will have eternal life. The Messiah is supposed to die for our sins, but that is only a part of the kingdom of God message, it is not the whole message. This is how Satan has tried to distort matters, and by looking at the current situation, he has done a pretty good job of it.

If you would like to see the seriousness of the message and how Satan tries to keep you from it, just read the Parable of the Sower :

Luke 8:11-12

"The seed is the word of God (means"word of the kingdom," compare it to Matthew 13:19). Those on the path are the ones who have heard, but the devil comes and takes the word from their hearts that they may not believe and be saved."

Satan will do whatever he can to keep you from this message, this is why most of us are so unfamiliar with it. Don’t you think that since this was the central theme of Jesus and the Apostle’s teachings, that we should be a little more familiar with it. But most of us are not. When you do hear something on it, it is usually distorted and a completely different message from what the prophets talked about. People will say that the kingdom of God is really in your heart, or that it is the church. In order to clear up any misunderstandings, let us take a look at all the prophesies of the Messiah and the kingdom of God from Abraham all the way through the New Testament and let you judge for yourself.

THE OLD TESTAMENT

In these verses you will see what God has promised Abraham and his descendants, the land, the earth, the nations as our inheritance, not heaven. It started with the promises that God made to Abraham that he and his descendants would inherit the Promised Land forever. This of course has not happened. Abraham never inherited the land, and his descendants who reached Israel did not keep it forever. They lost their land and recovered it again in 1948. Obviously God’s promises to Abraham have not been fulfilled yet, and since God does not lie, it will happen.

Psalms 115:16

"The highest heavens belong to the LORD, but the earth he has given to man."

Genesis 13:15

"All the land that you see I will give to you (Abraham) and your seed forever."

Psalm 37:9,11,22,29,34

"But those who wait for the LORD shall posses the land."

"But the meek shall posses the land."

"But those whom He blesses shall posses the land."

"The just shall posses the land and dwell in it forever."

"He will promote you to ownership of the land."

Psalm 2:7-9

"The LORD said to me, "You are my son; this day I have begotten you. Ask of me and I will give you the nations for an inheritance and the ends of the earth for your possession. You shall rule them with an iron rod."

Zechariah 9:10

"The warriors bow shall be banished, and he shall proclaim peace to the nations. His dominion shall be from sea to sea, and from the River to the ends of the earth."

Isaiah 65:9,17

"My chosen ones shall inherit the land.

Lo, I am about to create new heavens and a new earth; the things of the past shall not be remembered or come to mind."

In these verses you will see that the Messiah is supposed to be a king whose domain is the entire earth and all the nations and its peoples. His kingdom is forever and all shall serve him.

Daniel 7:13-14

"One like a son of man coming, on the clouds of heaven; When he reached the Ancient One and was presented before Him, he received dominion, glory, and kingship; nations and peoples of every language serve him. His dominion is an everlasting dominion that shall not be taken away, his kingship shall not be destroyed."

2 Samuel 7:12-14,16

"And when your time comes and you rest with your ancestors, I will raise up your heir after you, sprung from your loins, and I will make his kingdom firm. It is he who shall build a house for my name. And I will make his royal throne firm forever. I will be a father to him, and he shall be a son to me. Your house and your kingdom shall endure forever before me; your throne shall stand firm forever."

Jeremiah 23:5

"Behold, the days are coming, says the LORD, when I will raise up a righteous shoot of David; As king he shall reign and govern wisely, he shall do what is just and right in the land."

Daniel 7:27

"Then the kingship and dominion and majesty of all the kingdoms under the heavens shall be given to the holy people of the Most High. Whose kingdom shall be everlasting: all dominions shall serve and obey him."

Isaiah 49:6-7

"I will make you a light to the nations, that my salvation may reach to the ends of the earth. When kings see you, they shall stand up, and princes shall prostrate themselves."

Psalm 72:11,17

"All kings shall pay him homage, all nations shall serve him.

May his name be blessed forever; as long as the sun his name shall remain. In him all the tribes of the earth be blessed."

Psalm 111:6

"He has made known to His people the power of His works, giving them the lands of the nations."

In the Messianic kingdom there will have to be a centralized seat of power from where the Messiah (king) will reign. These verses will show you that the capital of the Messianic kingdom will be a rehabilitated Jerusalem. Israel = Zion.

Isaiah 24:23: "For the LORD of hosts will reign on Mount Zion and in Jerusalem."

Psalm 135:21: "Blessed from Zion be the LORD, who dwells in Jerusalem."

Micah 5:2,3-4

"From you shall come forth for me one who is to be ruler in Israel.

He shall stand firm and shepherd his flock by the strength of the LORD, in the majestic name of the LORD, his God; And they shall remain, for now his greatness shall reach to the ends of the earth; he shall be peace."

Psalm 89:4,27-30,37

"Forever will I confirm your posterity and establish your throne for all generations.

He shall say of me "You are my father, my God, the rock, my savior." And I will make him the first-born, highest of the kings of the earth. Forever I will maintain my kindness toward him, and my covenant with him stands firm. I will make his posterity endure forever."

Psalm 110:1-2

"The LORD said to my Lord: "Sit at my right hand till I make your enemies your footstool." The scepter of your power the LORD will stretch forth from Zion."

Psalm 132:11,14,17-18

"Your own offspring I will set upon your throne.

Zion is my resting place forever; in her I will dwell, for I prefer her.

In her I will make a horn sprout forth for David; I will place a lamp for my anointed. His enemies I will clothe with shame, But upon him my crown shall shine."

Isaiah 2:3-4

"For from Zion shall go forth instruction, and the word of the LORD from Jerusalem. He shall judge between the nations, and impose terms on many peoples.

One nation shall not raise the sword against another."

These verses show that the Messiah will suffer and pay for the world’s sins.

Genesis 12:3

"All the communities of the earth shall find blessing in you."

Isaiah 53:5-6,11-12

"But he was pierced for our offenses, crushed for our sins.

But the LORD laid upon him the guilt of us all.

Through his suffering, my servant shall justify many, and their guilt he shall bear. Therefore I will give him his portion among the great.

And he shall take away the sins of many, and win pardon for their offenses."

NEW TESTAMENT

Now we will compare to see if the New Testament is in agreement with the Old Testament. These verses will show you that the promises made to Abraham in the Old Testament are still the central focus of Christianity. Jesus Christ came to proclaim and confirm the promises made to Abraham.

Galatians 3:29

"If you belong to Christ, then you are reckoned as Abraham’s descendants, heirs according to the promise."

Romans 4:13

"The promise was made to Abraham and his descendants that he would inherit the world."

Romans 15:8

"Christ became a minister of the circumcised to show God’s truthfulness, to confirm the promises made to the patriarchs" (Abraham, Isaac, Jacob)

Ephesians 3:6

"The Gentiles are coheirs, members of the same body, and copartners in the promise in Christ Jesus through the gospel."

Acts 26:6-7

"I am standing trial because of my hope in the promise made by God to our ancestors. Our twelve tribes hope to attain to that promise as they fervently worship God day and night; and on account of this hope I am accused by Jews."

These first verses will show that the kingdom of God is still as the Old Testament states, on the earth.

Revelation 5:10

"You made them a kingdom and priests for our God, and they will reign on earth."

Matthew 5:5

"Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the land."

Matthew 25:31-32

"When the Son of Man comes in his glory, and all the angels with him, he will sit upon his glorious throne, and all the nations will be assembled before him. And he will separate them one from another, as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats."

Revelation 2:26

"To the victor, who keeps to my ways until the end, I will give authority over the nations."

These verses will show us that it is an actual kingdom. We are even instructed by Jesus to pray for the coming of this kingdom.

Luke 1:32-33

"He will be great and will be called Son of the Most High, and the Lord God will give him the throne of David his father, and he will rule over the house of Jacob forever, and of his kingdom there will be no end."

Revelation 3:21

"I will give the victor the right to sit with me on my throne, as I myself first won the victory to sit with my Father on his throne."

1 Corinthians 6:2

"Do you not know that the holy one will judge the world."

Luke 12:32

"For your Father is pleased to give you the kingdom."

Matthew 6:10

"Your kingdom come."

These verses show that we the saints (Christians) will reign with Christ in his kingdom. The word that is used for reign in these verses is better understood as administer. So we will help Jesus the Messiah administer the kingdom of God.

Luke 22:29-30

"And I confer a kingdom on you, just as my Father has conferred one on me, that you may eat and drink at my table in my kingdom; and you will sit on thrones judging the twelve tribes of Israel."

Revelation 20:4-5

"They came to life and they reigned with Christ for a thousand years. The rest of the dead did not come to life until the thousand years were over."

Revelation 20:6

"They will be priests of God and reign with him for the thousand years."

2 Timothy 2:12

"If we persevere we shall also reign with him."

The New Testament agrees completely with what the prophets told us in the Old Testament. The angel Gabriel tells Mary exactly why Jesus has come in Lk 1:32. The kingdom is here on earth, with Jesus the Messiah as our king.

The last piece of this puzzle is; if the kingdom of God is here on earth, how does going to heaven fit in? The answer is, it doesn’t! We are not supposed to go to heaven. Heaven is where God, Jesus, (until his Second Coming) and the angels dwell. God made the earth for us. The paradise where Adam and Eve lived was here on earth, it was not in heaven.

The concept of going to heaven is another one of those Greek concepts that filtered into early Christianity. The Greek philosophers (Pythagoreans) are the ones who believe that the soul separates from the body after death. This is not what the Bible teaches. We are supposed to resurrect like Jesus. Webster’s Dictionary states:

Resurrect - rising from the dead.

If your soul is alive in heaven, then you are by no means dead. Another problem with the concept of your soul going to heaven or hell when you die is, that judgment happens only after Jesus returns. How then, can a soul go to heaven or hell if it hasn’t been judged yet?

Justin Martyr, one of the early Christian theologians wrote in 150 AD:

"If you meet some who say that their souls go to heaven when they die, do not believe that they are Christians!"

He wrote this in order to warn his fellow Christians about a strange new idea that was beginning to creep into Christianity. Well, it is time for you to be the judge again. Here are some examples:

When the Bible talks about being asleep, it means being dead. Read John 11:11-14 if you have any doubts. You will notice that Jesus says that no one has been to heaven. King David who was one of God’s favorites is not in heaven. You will see that there is no knowledge of God when you are dead. If we were to go to heaven I would suppose that you would be well aware of God. The Bible says that man and animals go to the same place when we die, that there is no difference, except that man will one day resurrect. You will notice that all will come to life only at Jesus’ return, and not before. Remember we do not have immortal souls, that is a Greek philosophical idea. Only God is immortal. The Jewish and Christian concept of death is that the whole person dies.

Who is in heaven besides God, Jesus, and the angels? No one.

John 3:13

"No one has gone up to heaven."

Acts 2:29

"My brothers, one can confidently say about the patriarch David that he died and was buried, and his tomb is in our midst to this day."

Acts 2:34

"For David did not go up into heaven."

Hebrews 11:13

"All these died in faith" (Abel, Enoch, Noah, Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, Sarah).

Where are the dead? In their tombs in the earth. When you are dead there is no knowledge of anything, not even of God.

2 Peter 3:4

"From the time when our ancestors fell asleep, everything has remained as it was from the beginning of creation."

John 5:28-29

"Do not be amazed at this, because the hour is coming in which all who are in the tombs will hear his voice and come out, those who have done good deeds to the resurrection of life, but those who have done wicked deeds to the resurrection of condemnation."

Daniel 12:2

"Many of those who sleep in the dust of the earth shall awake; some shall live forever, others shall be an everlasting horror and disgrace."

Genesis 3:19

"Until you return to the ground, from which you were taken; for you are dirt, and to dirt you shall return."

Psalms 6:5-6

"Return, O LORD, save my life; rescue me because of your kindness, for among the dead no one remembers you;"

Ezekiel 18:4

"The soul that sins, it shall die."

Ecclesiastes 9:10

"For there will be no work, nor reason, nor knowledge, nor wisdom in the nether world where you are going."

Psalm 115:17

"It is not the dead who praise the LORD."

Ecclesiastes 3:19-20

"For the lot of man and of beast is one lot; the one dies as well as the other. Both have the same life-breath, and man has no advantage over the beast; but all is vanity. Both go to the same place; both were made from the dust, and to the dust they both return."

Psalms 146:4

"When his spirit departs he returns to his earth; on that day his plans perish."

When will the dead rise? At Jesus’ Second Coming, on the last day.

1 Thessalonians 4: 16-17

"For the Lord himself , with a word of command, with the voice of an archangel and with the trumpet of God, will come down from heaven, and the dead in Christ will rise first. Then we who are alive, who are left, will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air."

Revelation 20:4-5

"They came to life and they reigned with Christ for a thousand years. The rest of the dead did not come to life until the thousand years were over."

1 Corinthians 15:22-23

"For just as in Adam all die, so to in Christ shall all be brought to life, but each one in proper order: Christ the firstfruits; then, at his coming, those who belong to Christ."

John 11:24

"Martha said to him, " I know he will rise, in the resurrection on the last day."

Job 14:12

"So men lie down and rise not again. Till the heavens are no more, they shall not awake, nor be roused out of their sleep."

Mark 12:23

"At the resurrection when they arise, whose wife will she be."

BUT WHAT ABOUT THESE VERSES?

Q. Didn’t Jesus’ Spirit go to be with God when he died?

This question comes from an incorrect Hellenistic (Greek philosophy) interpretation of Luke 23:46:

"Father, into your hands I commend my spirit, and when he had said this he breathed his last."

There are two ways to interpret this verse. The first is the way that most of us have been taught, which is the Hellenistic interpretation. The second is if we use the Jewish meaning of the word "spirit," this is the meaning that was intended by its Jewish author. Lets review what the word "spirit" means to both a Greek philosopher and to a Jew. First, the Greek philosophical definition. To a Greek philosopher, spirit and soul are interchangeable.

Platonism – Believed that we must be capable of existing apart from our bodies. The flesh is evil. The body is a prison. It is bad for the soul (i.e. spirit) to be in the body. Platonism suggests the immortality of the soul, and the soul then becoming incarnate.

This idea of souls separating from our bodies was unknown to the Hebrews. The Zondervan Pictorial Encyclopedia of the Bible states:

"The ancient Hebrews knew nothing of the Greek concept of salvation by flight from the body and the world of which man is a part of."

This understanding of "spirit" will lead us to many false conclusions. It has problems right away with other passages in the Bible. First, only God is immortal

(1 Timothy 6:15-16). Second, I do not know of anyone that would dispute that judgement happens at the return of Christ. So how can your spirit or soul go to heaven or hell if it has not been judged? This should be a clue that something is wrong with this definition of "spirit."

Using this definition of "spirit" we arrive at the conclusion that when Jesus died, his spirit went to heaven to be with God. This has a few major problems. First, if Jesus went to be with the Father and then came back to appear before the Apostles, and then plans to return again on the day of judgement, then his return will be the third coming of Christ instead of the second. 1+1+1=3. But the biggest problem with this interpretation is that it forms a huge contradiction with John 20:27:

"Stop holding on to me, for I have not yet ascended to the Father."

Jesus says this to Mary of Magdala after he has resurrected, three days after he commended his spirit to God. He is clearly stating that he has not been to the Father.

If he is has not been with the Father, where has he been? John 12:32 and Matthew 12:40 provide us with the answer:

"And when I am lifted up from the earth, I will draw everyone to myself."

"so will the Son of Man be in the heart of the earth three days and three nights."

Jesus has been in Sheol, a.k.a. the pit, the grave, the earth, for the last three days. Jesus himself tells us he has not been to heaven.

These are the sort of problems that arise when you use definitions that are different from the ones that the writers used. Now lets see what "spirit" means to a Jew:

Spirit (ruah & pneuma) – Breath of life. The vital principle by which the body is animated.

In other words, it is the life force that God gives to people and animals, which animates their bodies, which gives them life. When He takes it away, they die.

"When you take away their breath (ruah), they perish and return to the dust from which they came. When you send forth your breath (ruah), they are created" (Psalm 104:29:30).

"When his spirit (ruah) departs he returns to his earth; on that day his plans perish" (Psalm 146:4).

"And when the dust returns to the earth as it once was, and the life breath (ruah) returns to God who gave it" (Ecclesiastes 12:7).

With the proper definition of "spirit" we can now interpret this verse correctly:

Jesus commends his spirit (breath of life) to God. God takes his breath of life and Jesus breathes his last (he died).

This is the intended Jewish meaning of this verse. This interpretation is in agreement with the Jewish definition of "spirit" and with the psalms that are quoted above. It also does not contradict John 20:17.

Q. What about the thief on the cross, wasn’t he with Jesus in paradise that same day?

This question arises from the verse in Luke 23:43: It states:

"Then he said, ‘Jesus, remember me in your kingdom.’ He replied to him, ‘Amen, I say to you today you will be with me in paradise."

This verse will take two entirely different meanings depending on where you put the comma. In Greek there are no commas, so when the Bible is translated into English the translator puts the comma where he thinks it should go. But if the translator believes in Greek type spirits that leave your body at death, he is going to put the comma after "you" before "today." The other place it can go, the correct place is after "today."

There are many examples of people saying "I tell you something today (right now)." It was a common way of speaking. Here are a few examples:

"Take to heart these words which I enjoin on you today" (Deuteronomy 6:6).

"besides setting up on Mount Ebal these stones concerning which I commanded you today" (Deuteronomy 27:4).

"Therefore, I declare to you today that I am innocent of the blood of all men" (Acts 20:26).

All these are excellent examples, but the best is Paul’s statement, "I declare to you today." It is identical to Jesus’ statement.

I say to you today = I declare to you today

Jesus and Paul are saying. "I am telling you this moment, right now."

Let’s see the consequences of both. If we use the first interpretation that the thief was in paradise with Jesus that day, then we run into the same problems that we had with the spirit of Jesus going to the Father. Jesus tells us three days after his burial that he has not yet been to the Father (John 20:17). He also tells us that he has been in the earth, not in paradise (John 12:32). If Jesus has not been to the Father, then how can we expect the thief to be in paradise with Jesus that very same day? Notice also that the thief asks Jesus to remember him when he comes into his kingdom.

The kingdom of God = Paradise

The kingdom of God has obviously not come yet. After Jesus resurrected, he appeared to the Apostles and instructed them on the kingdom of God for forty days (Acts 1:3). They then asked him:

"Lord, are you at this time going to restore the kingdom to Israel?" (Acts 1:6).

Even after the resurrection, the kingdom of God had still not come. So how could the thief have been in the kingdom on that very same day?

If we use the other way of interpreting this verse, it means that the thief asked Jesus to remember him when his kingdom comes. Jesus replies to him at that moment, that on that day, you will be with. With this interpretation there are no contradictions and we do not have to throw away 20 to 30 verses on death that will also contradict the previous interpretation.

Q. What about these two verses?

2 Corinthians 5:8 - "absent from the body and to be at home with the Lord"

and,

Philippians 1:23 - "I long to depart this life and be with Christ."

People have taken these two verses to mean that when you die you are automatically taken to heaven to be with Christ. The question that we must ask ourselves is, what does Paul mean when he says, "with Christ?" When does Paul expect to be with Christ? Is it immediately after death, or is it during the resurrection of the dead at the Second Coming of Christ? This is an easy question to answer if you know where to look, but first let’s takes a look at what a few sources say about this verse. The New American Bible states the following on 2 Corinthians chapter 5:

"Unlike the Greeks (philosophers), who found dissolution of the body desirable (cf Socrates), Paul has a Jewish horror of it."

The Zondervan Pictorial Encyclopedia of the Bible states the following on 2 Corinthians 5:8:

"Paul’s pithy statement, to be "absent from the body and to be present with the Lord," a statement pregnant with hope for all Christians, is understood to reflect an immediacy of sequence in the consciousness of the individual only. When a Christian closes his eyes in death, the next moment, as far as he is concerned, he will be with the Lord, though countless millennia may have intervened. Thus the basic structure of the New Testament, which is death followed by resurrection is preserved; at the sane time the postponement of the resurrection until the parousia, is maintained."

In other words, there is no sensation of time when you are dead. When you die, the next thing that you will experience is being with the Lord Jesus Christ on the day of his return, even though thousands of years have passed by.

Let us now go back and answer the question that we asked before, "When does Paul expect to be with the Lord?" The answer is in 1 Thessalonians 4:16-17 where Paul is speaking of the Second Coming of Christ:

"And the dead in Christ will rise first, then we who are alive, who are left, will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. Thus we shall always be with the Lord."

This is when Paul expects to be with the Lord, at the resurrection of the dead at the return of Christ, not before then. Let us see another wonderful example of when Paul plans to be with Jesus.

2 Thessalonians 2:1 states:

"We ask you, brothers, with regard to the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ and our assembly with him."

Again, we can see that Paul expects the Thessalonians and himself to assemble with Christ AT HIS COMING."

When you read the Bible you must always keep in mind who the writer was writing to and why. Paul in this example was not writing with the idea that his letter would become part of the New Testament for all to read for generations to come. He was writing to the church at Corinth and at Philippi that he had personally established. The churches at Corinth and Philippi were already familiar with the teachings of Paul on the return of Christ and the resurrection of the dead. This is why he did not mention the time period between death and the return of Christ. In the Bible, and when speaking with other Christians, many times we read or say that Jesus died and three days later he resurrected. Other times we say that Jesus died and resurrected. We do not mention the three days in between his death and resurrection because we both know what we are talking about. This is all that happened in these verses. Paul was writing to his churches, people whom he instructed personally, not to people that were unfamiliar with Christianity. They knew exactly what he was talking about. Here are a few examples:

"It is Christ Jesus who died, rather, was raised, who also is at the right hand of God, who intercedes for us" (Romans 8:34).

The same author Paul does not mention the three days from Jesus’ death till his resurrection, but we all know that he is not implying that Jesus died and rose immediately. Paul is just omitting an obvious fact. 1 Peter 3:22 states:

"But an appeal to God for a clear conscience, through the resurrection of Jesus Christ, who has gone into heaven and is at the right hand of God."

Peter does not mention the forty days in between the resurrection and his ascension that Jesus was with the Apostles before going to heaven to sit at the right hand of God. It is because the people that Peter was writing to were familiar with this fact already.

Q. What about Luke 16:19-31 - The Parable of the Rich Man and Lazarus?

A lot of people have used this parable as the sole basis for their doctrine on death. They will quote this one verse and completely ignore all the verses that have been covered in this paper. This is an irresponsible way of interpreting Scripture. You should never make a conclusion out of one verse, but instead compare all the related verses on that topic before making your conclusions. In this case, the situation is made worse by the fact that the verse that is used to create an entire doctrine of death happens to be a parable. All major Bible scholars consider this to be a parable. Let’s see what a parable is. According to the New American Bible under a section entitled Literary Genres or Forms, it states:

Parable – A short fictitious narrative from which a moral or spiritual truth is drawn. Keep in mind that the point of the parable (not the details) is God’s message to believers.

Parables are fictitious, they have never happened. They are meant to teach us a point. We cannot take this parable literally. If we do, it will contradict everything in the Bible that teaches us that you will receive your reward or punishment on judgment day and not before, and everything that we have covered on death. The biggest clue that this is not a literal passage is that the rich man is speaking from the netherworld. When I looked up Netherworld in the New American Bible Dictionary it said, "See Sheol."

Sheol – The ancient concept of the abode of the dead (the netherworld, in Hebrew, Sheol) supposed no activity or lofty emotion among the deceased, who were pictured as surrounded but the darkness of oblivion.

The rich man is speaking from the netherworld, he is displaying torment, and he is pleading with Abraham in order to help himself and save his brothers. These are impossibilities from the netherworld. In the netherworld there is no activity or emotion among the deceased, they are in oblivion. Yet the rich man displays both of them. If we do take it literally it will make no sense whatsoever. We will also have the poor man on Abraham’s chest, spirits that have actual eyes and tongues, plus the righteous and the wicked can see and speak to each other. This is bizarre!

This parable is not intended to teach us about death. Unfortunately many interpreters have made this parable the sole authority on death. The reason that they have misinterpreted this verse is that they bring with them a lot of baggage (preconceived ideas) which hide from them the true meaning of this verse and leads them to an incorrect conclusion. Please approach this parable with a mind set free from prior influences and the truth will be obvious. If you approach this with the mind set that this is about death, then that’s what you will find.

In order to understand a parable you must always be aware of the context of the verses before and after the parable. These usually provide you with clues to what the point of the parable is about. In this case only the preceding verses are helpful. This parable has two points, one primary and a secondary. So let’s see what this most controversial parable is about.

Jesus gives us this parable because of the conflict that he is having with the Pharisees over their love of money, their use of "dishonest wealth." This thought started in the Parable of the Dishonest Steward in Luke 16:1 and continued until Luke 16:15 which a few verses later led up to the Parable of the Rich man and Lazarus. In Luke 16:13-14 Jesus says:

"No servant can serve two masters. He will either hate one and love the other, or be devoted to one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and mammon (money). The Pharisees who loved money, heard all these things and sneered at him."

All the Parables of the Bible states on this verse:

"These religious leaders who fared sumptuously, living in the love of money, and of the enjoyments which money purchased, only mocked at the counsel of using their wealth for the benefit of others in a way to earn them eternal rewards. Their money was theirs and they wanted no advice from Jesus as to its right use. Then came this parable."

The main point of this parable is to show the consequences of making money your god, putting it first in your life instead of putting the will of God first. The sin of the rich man was not that he was rich, but that he failed to realize that he was God’s trustee, with wealth and influence that could have been used for God’s glory, and for the spiritual and material benefit of his fellow-men. Lazarus was rewarded because in spite of his pitiful condition, he had served God, finding his constant help in Him.

In a similar twist, The Quest Study Bible states on this verse:

"His point was that, contrary to popular opinion, money is not evidence of favor with God, nor does poverty indicate God’s displeasure."

Its secondary point is to teach us that even after Jesus’ resurrection, men will still refuse to repent and believe in the Lord Jesus Christ. Verse 31 says:

"Then Abraham said, if they will not listen to Moses and the prophets, neither will they repent if someone should rise from the dead."

Let’s take a look at what The New American Bible states on this verse:

"A foreshadowing in Luke’s gospel of the rejection of the call to repentance even after Jesus’ resurrection."

Now that we understand the reason and the point of the parable, let us examine the details of this parable that have been disastrously misinterpreted. We will start with verse 22:

"When the poor man died he was carried away by angels to the bosom of Abraham."

What does the "bosom of Abraham mean?" According to Thayer’s Greek Lexicon bosom as it is used in this verse means: To be a partaker of the same blessedness as Abraham in paradise.

So Lazarus will share the same reward with Abraham in paradise. God blessed Abraham by promising him that he would inherit the world (the kingdom of God). Romans 4:13 states:

"It was not through the law that the promise was made to Abraham and his descendants that he would inherit the world, but through the righteousness that comes through faith."

Abraham has not inherited the world yet, he will first have to be resurrected. When will the resurrection occur? At the coming of the new age, the Second Coming of Christ. Luke 20:35 states:

"But those who are deemed worthy to attain to the coming age and to the resurrection of the dead."

Lazarus was carried away by angels to be with Abraham. When are the angel supposed to collect the elect? At the coming of Christ at the end of the age in order to enter the kingdom of God. Matthew13:39-42 states it clearly:

"The harvest is the end of the age, and the harvesters are angels. Just as weeds are collected and burned up (destroyed) with fire, so will it be at the end of the age." The Son of Man will send his angels, and they will collect out of his kingdom all who cause others to sin and all evildoers. They will throw them into the fiery furnace (to be destroyed as the weeds were destroyed).

Matthew 13: 49 follows six parables on the kingdom of God, the Parable of the Sower, the Weeds, the Mustard Seed, the Treasure, the Pearl, and the Net Thrown into the Sea. It is still dealing with the same topic, the kingdom of God. It states:

"Thus it will be at the end of the age. The angels will go out and separate the wicked from the righteous and throw them into the fiery furnace where there will be wailing and grinding of teeth."

Both of these events, Abraham’s blessing and the collection of the righteous by the angels are events that will happen in the future, at the return of Christ. Let’s continue and then we will put it all together. Verse 22-23 states:

"The rich man also died and was buried, and from the netherworld, where he was in torment, he raised his eyes and saw Abraham far off and Lazarus at his side."

The rich man and Lazarus are not in the same place, one is in the kingdom of God and the other is in the netherworld. When the rich man sees Abraham "far off" it means that he sees him far off in time not in distance. This parable is pretending that the rich man from his grave in the present time is having a vision of Abraham (in the kingdom of God) in the future after the angels have collected the elect and the dead have been resurrected, and realizes that he is still in the grave and has missed out on the blessings of Abraham.

He is in torment because he realizes that he will not have life in the age to come because he has been thrown into the fiery flames (destroyed).

The rich man then asks Abraham to send Lazarus to his brothers in the present time to warn them so that they will not suffer the same fate as him in the future. Verse 27 states:

"Then I beg you, father, send him (Lazarus) to my father’s house, for I have five brothers. So that he may warn them."

But Lazarus in the present time is also dead. When Abraham says in verse 29, " They have Moses and the prophets. Let them listen to them." The rich man replies in verse 30:

"He said, Oh no father Abraham, but if someone (Lazarus from verse 27) from the dead goes to them they will repent."

Where is Lazarus? He is dead in Sheol. This is why the rich man says that, "If someone from the dead comes they will repent." He will be in the kingdom next to Abraham after the resurrection when the Son of Man comes and sends his angels to collect the dead in Christ.

Of course this verse foreshadows Jesus’ resurrection, but it is here speaking specifically about Lazarus.

Summary – You cannot serve two masters at once. If you choose the things of this world (i.e. money) over God, when Christ returns and inaugurates the kingdom of God you will be counted with the wicked and will not share in the inheritance (bosom) of Abraham. You will instead be thrown into the fiery flames and destroyed.

Remember that this is a parable, and a parable is a fictitious short story with a point. The details are not important, only the point. This parable was not meant to be the sole authority on death. It does however detail the end results correctly. Either we enter the kingdom of God or we are destroyed forever.

Q. What about 2 Kings 2:11: "And Elijah went up to heaven in a whirlwind."

This verse has of course been taken to mean that Elijah went to heaven and then so will we when we die. The Jewish word that is translated as heaven literally means, "sky." I will explain this verse by saying that what happened to Elijah was not that he was taken up to heaven where God dwells, but that he was translated to another location on earth. This explanation is very easy to prove. Read 1 Kings 18:7-16 where Elijah is speaking to Obadiah, King Ahab’s vizier. We see in verse 8 that Elijah asks Obadiah to go and tell Ahab that Elijah is here. Obadiah replies that there is no nation or kingdom that Ahab has not searched for Elijah in, and that they could not find him. In verse12 Obadiah says to Elijah that he is afraid to go and tell Ahab that Elijah is here because when he leaves, the Spirit of the LORD will carry him off somewhere that he does not know, and Ahab will have him killed.

"After I leave you, the Spirit of the LORD will carry you to some place I do not know, and when I go to inform Ahab and he does not find you, he will have me killed."

Being translated is not too common in the Bible but it does happen. Philip was translated in Acts 8:39:

"When they came out of the water, The Spirit of the Lord snatched Philip away and the eunuch saw him no more."

Another excellent verse to show that Elijah is still on earth after the event on the chariot of fire is that he writes a letter to King Jehoram in 2 Chronicles 21:10-13 telling him that the LORD will strike his people with a great plague. Verse 12 is worth quoting:

"He (Jehoram) received a letter from the prophet Elijah with this message."

The crucial point in these verses is that Elijah wrote a letter to King Jehoram who was the son of King Jehoshaphat. Elijah was transported during the reign of King Jehoshaphat. Jehoram came after Jehoshaphat, and it was Jehoram that received a letter from Elijah. The obvious conclusion is that Elijah is still alive here on earth. If Elijah did go to heaven, then how could we explain Jesus’ statement in John 3:13:

"No one has gone up to heaven."

Is Jesus wrong? Or is it that man’s interpretation of this verse is wrong?

Q. What about Enoch?

The problem with Enoch is two-fold. The first is in Genesis 5:24, it states:

"Then Enoch walked with God, and he was no longer here, for God took him."

In order to understand this verse you will have to read all of chapter five. People claim that since of everyone else it is said, "then he died" and of Enoch it is not, but instead it says that he "walked with God, for God took him," then that means that Enoch went to heaven with God. If you read the paragraph that talks about Enoch without this preconceived idea, you will come to the conclusion that Enoch died.

It says in verse 23:

"That the whole lifetime of Enoch was three hundred and sixty-five years."

To me that implies that Enoch’s whole lifetime was three hundred and sixty-five years and then he died. I do not see any hint that Enoch did not die. It says that "Enoch walked with God," but so did Noah in Genesis 6:10:

"Noah, a good man and blameless in that age, for he walked with God."

"Walked with God," means that the person follows God’s will. "God took him," means that God took his breath of life and that person died. We still use this saying today, we commonly say that God took a family member or a friend when we mean that someone died. The word translated as "took" is the Hebrew word laqah. It means:

laqah – of removal by death.

An excellent example of the usage of this word is in Ezekiel 33:6:

"But if the watchman sees the sword coming and fails to blow the warning trumpet, so that the sword comes and takes (laqah) anyone, I will hold the watchman responsible for that person’s death, even though that person is taken (laqah) because of their own sin."

Notice how it is used, the sword comes and takes someone, in other words, kills someone. This is why the watchman will be held responsible for that person’s death.

So why is there a difference between the phrases of all the other people mentioned and Enoch? There is no clear-cut answer, but my opinion is that something happened to Enoch that cut his life short. Either an accident or illness, but something that prevented him from dying of old age like the others. Everyone mentioned lived to over nine hundred years old, except Lamech who lived to almost eight hundred years old. However, Enoch only lived to be three hundred and sixty-five years old. Something happened to Enoch that cut his life short; this is why it is said, "God took him."

The second verse is in Hebrews 11:5 where Paul is speaking about the faith of the ancients. It says:

"By faith Enoch was taken up so that he should not see death, and he was found no more because God had taken him."

The problem that we arrive at if we say that because of this verse Enoch did not die, is that the same author in the same chapter in verse 13 says that all the ancients that he was talking about (which Enoch was one of) have died:

"All these died in faith."

So Abraham and Noah and Enoch and all the others mentioned died. So how do we explain verse 5? The clue is in knowing what the author meant when he said "That he should not see death." I have not found the answer to that question. Obviously he does not mean that he did not die because he writes a few verses later that he did die. In John 8:51 Jesus says:

"I say to you, whoever keeps my word will never see death."

This is identical to Hebrews 11:5. I do not think that Jesus meant that whoever keeps his word will be taken to heaven without ever experiencing death. It is more likely that Jesus means that whoever keeps his word will not experience eternal death. That they will be resurrected on the last day. Hebrews 11:5 meaning is probably along these lines.

For me, I am convinced that Enoch did die. I cannot let one verse that I cannot explain fully counter all the evidence in the massive amount of verses that are very specific on death.

Paul who wrote Hebrews says in Romans 5:12:

"Therefore, just as sin entered the world through one man, and death through sin, and in this way death came to all men, because all sinned"

Death came to all men, that includes Enoch. This statement of Paul also strengthens the position of Hebrews 11:13 "They all died in faith."

If we isolate Enoch from all the evidence on death, the preponderance of the evidence is about 75% in favor that Enoch died, and 25% that he did not see death. If we do not isolate Enoch from all the other Scriptures on death Enoch is really not a factor.

If Enoch went to heaven, then again, we have to assume that Jesus was wrong in John 3:13:

"No one has gone up to heaven."

Q. What about the transfiguration of Jesus?

The transfiguration of Jesus is a vision, it is a way in which God reveals a message to us. Jesus in speaking about the transfiguration says in Matthew 17:9:

"As they were coming down from the mountain, Jesus charged them, ‘Do not tell the vision to anyone until the Son of Man has been raised from the dead."

A vision is not reality, it is a way in which God communicates or instructs us. In the transfiguration, the message was intended for Peter, James, and John.

Let’s take a look at some other visions. Genesis 15:1 says:

"After these things the word of the LORD came to Abraham in a vision."

"Daniel had a dream as he lay in bed, and was terrified by the visions of his mind" (Daniel 7:1).

Daniel then goes on to describe his vision which includes four beasts, one that looks like a lion with eagle wings etc. This is an excellent example of a vision. God is revealing a message to Daniel, the details are not necessarily reality, it is the message that is important. The message in this case is about the end times. God many times uses symbols to get his point across. But there are not going to be four actual beasts that look like a lion with eagle wings etc.

The purpose of the vision of the transfiguration was to confirm to Peter, James, and John that Jesus is the fulfillment of the law and the prophets. The New American Bible states on this verse:

"Moses and Elijah represent respectively law and prophecy in the Old Testament and are linked to Mount Sinai. They now appear with Jesus as witnesses to the fulfillment of the law and prophets taking place in the person of Jesus as he appears in glory."

It was a vision. It would be irresponsible to use this episode for any other purpose than what it was intended for.

There are a few more verses that might cause a little confusion, but they are easily explained.

The Bible is very clear on the subjects we have covered in this brief paper. Man made traditions have done everything possible to confuse God’s word, but it is very easy to see past the lies if one just takes the time to look. Once you understand these important points, a lot of the Bible starts to make sense, because it stops contradicting itself. You are no longer trying to force Greek thought into Hebrew writings. Think about it, if you believe that you go to heaven after you die, how would you explain all the verses in this paper without making a shamble out of the Bible?

God bless you and see you at the resurrection!

If you have any questions or comments please feel free to contact us at:

767juan@compuserve.com

BACK HOME

Odds and ends...

2010-04-26T11:27:00.000-05:00

You know that tray or bowl or, in my case, basket that sits on your bedroom dresser and collects the misc. items from your pockets...? Here's what I found in mine:

cassette tape of recorded-off-the-radio 90's music

stack of coin wrappers for pennies, tied with a twist tie

a necklace I macraméd with giant, gaudy beads for Little Brook to play with while I nursed her

a pair of “bones” - made of wood, for making music

2 sample packs of BioFreeze, pain relieving gel, the chiropractor gave me

6 too-short #2 pencils; 1 white, 5 standard yellow

colored pencil, blue

glue stick

spool of white quilting thread

“toasted coconut” paint sample from Walmart, the color I did the living room

yellow highlighter

pink gel glitter pen

2 blue Bic ink pens

small, black, LED flashlight in disrepair

5 hair bands

tube of herbal Blistex - empty

three wooden rag rug needles, made for me by Bobby

9 crayon pieces

tube beeswax lip balm

refillable lighter - received free, in the mail from Camel, for some reason

2 pair of ear plugs

heart shaped incense burner, given by a friend, though I rarely burn them

gunked up ball of yellow Handy-Tack

plastic child’s barrette

half a child’s plastic, camo watch band

3 wooden clothespins

4 AA batteries, one rechargeable

2 sewing machine bobbin cases, neither of which fit the used machine I got from a friend

large adult hair barrette

small pocket knife

stale piece of baking chocolate

carabineer clip, to the goat’s chain

headphone jack reducer

plastic cap to my seam ripper (wondered where that went)

hickory nut, in shell

2 guitar picks; one hard, one thin

tag from inside of a shoe - size 8 1/2

puzzle piece

2 sunflower shaped buttons that popped off my jumper when I wrung it in the wringer

rock (only one - I have been cutting back)

3 pairs, 1 oddball, small metal hair clips, for holding my head-kerchief on

2 googly eyes; one large, one small, both with teeth marks

2” metal ring

2 lawnmower keys (the mechanic gives me a new one every time)

21 pushpins (tacks)

2 small eyebolts

1 hook catch, to go with an eyebolt

6 nails, various sizes

9 bobby pins

fence staple

23 buttons, imagine the variety

1 valve stem cap

4 screw-tips (1 phillips, 1 square, 2 Torx)

2 small u-bolt clamp type things, for clamping cable

3 1/2” key ring things

9 shelf pins

3 beads

6 paper clips

4 sewing needles

orange pencil-topper eraser

1 marble

5 marble-type decorative pieces (like, for fish aquariums)

mancala game piece

2 washers

23 safety pins (and one diaper pin)

2 dimes

penny (most of the change goes in the jar)

rubber band

1 paw paw seed

tiny allen key/hex wrench

plastic plug to exercise ball

3 small, matching bolts in plastic bag

16 various screws

Exodus tab from Seth’s bible, I’m supposed to tape back in

chintzy tweezers from pocket knife

aluminum clip that’s suppose to hold the window screen in the children’s bedroom window

toothpick

***************
Your turn!

Sabbath update

2010-04-26T11:24:00.000-05:00

4/24/10

Been a looong week.

Dessy had her kids right on her due date, also. I had on the calendar, "18th or 19th" and they were born between midnight and one, officially on the 19th. We could tell she was close, so we put her in a stall by herself. The signs, for those interested, are a suddenly larger udder (this is quite variable among goats) and a softening of the ligaments alongside the tailbone. Any other time these ligaments are like pencils in size and firmness, but you can feel them softening within 24 hours of labor, softening within a few hours of labor to where you can't even feel them.

Farra and I hung hammocks in the barn to be close so we wouldn't miss this one. Atira and Seth wanted to be wakened. It was my first attempt to sleep in a hammock (which the rest of the family loves - just me and the baby, sometimes Royal, in the tent when we camp out) and was miserable, hard on my back. I would have been better stretched out in the straw. I loved being in the barn, though, with all it's sounds and smells (yes, smells! A well kept barn doesn't smell bad). I returned to the house around 11pm, Farra waking me just after midnight with the report that Dessy was bleating and restless.

Seth decided he'd rather sleep, but Atira supposed it'd be worth it so she joined us in the barn. Bobby, awakened by our commotion, couldn't get back to sleep so he came down after a bit. What a neat time... I'm so glad my family got to see this. We had sheep when I was a preteen, and I was there when Dessy had her first, so I wasn't totally new to it. (I remember even sleeping in SMSU's ag barn when my aunt was a student there, waiting for a mare to foal. It was fun, but she didn't deliver on our watch.)

We watched the whole thing and I'll share some photos in a minute. I don't think Dessy was pleased with the audience (I kept comparing it to my labor/births and how I would feel. I asked Bobby at one point, "Is this what my labors are like from the outside? Just waiting, wondering how long it's going to take? Gosh, I hope not!" He said no. I think I believe him). The twins are bucks and are the most beautiful goats born here so far. We were kind of disappointed when we came back in the morning and checked the sex, because we would keep a pretty doe. As it is, the males are destined for the table. Anyway, with the cow we won't really need any more female goats. As it is now we'll be milking two this year, three the next, and four after that.

My mom says they didn't keep goats long after they got their milk cow, a Jersey Angus mix (sold to them as a "black Jersey"). I was a baby, my brother was about seven. I can see the sense in that, but we want the goat meat, have property more suited to goats, have buyers for goat milk which fetches a high price around here (buyers for all our extra milk, actually), and have more children who are able to do the goat chores and who need that sort of responsibility. Also, I like goat milk, especially for infants (which, Yahweh willing, I will have more of), and although calves are cute, there is nothing like a pasture of kids! If we get sick of milking only two-teated critters we'll probably switch to strictly meat goats or sheep.

Oh yeah, don't forget the pictures...

just a few minutes later the second was born...

a few minutes after that, the first was up and trying to nurse...

Sunny took over the hammock...

Back out to check on them in the daylight...

a few days later...

He's got his momma's eyes...

(their ears stand up as they grow - there's no Nubian blood here, though I like Nubians.)

We thought we ought not to bother with official names for our table-goats. I was going to call them “buck one” and “buck two”... then, naturally, we added “Tim” in front of each and now have “Tim-buck-one” and “Tim-buck-two.” (Sorry, Tim, it just happened!) Farra came to me the other day saying that Tim-one had fallen into a hole and couldn’t get out. Honestly. And us without Lassie.

Been enjoying a nice spring storm system the last couple days. I was starting to wonder, the ground was becoming so dry! So dry it was less than ideal to dig in the garden. I mowed the other day and have never seen such dust in April! This rain is perfect. Slow, steady, not pouring down. The ground is just soaking it up and none of it’s running off. We finished the barn addition this week and organized everything, hung all the tools. I love having it all decent and I could just spend hours in there playing with our bottle-kids, watching the chicks, petting the dogs and cat and listening to the rain, or finding more improvements to make.

A day or two after the twin bucklings were born we received another call from the friend with the Kikos, asking if we wanted to adopt another newborn buck, which we did. Blue has adopted him, named him “Popcorn,” and I often find her spending time cuddling him in his stall. Farra, however, has again taken care of the middle of the night feedings, just for the first three nights. Since we were able to disbud this little guy, we’ll probably keep him instead of Siegfried, for a hornless herd buck. Anyway, at least we have options.

Just after Popcorn came to us, less than 24 hours old...

We’re getting enough milk from the two does for all the kids, but none for us, so we have switched the oldest two of the three bottle kids over to milk replacer (partially - I mix it half & half with milk). We’ll keep buying milk from our other friend until the oldest is weaned, then we should be balanced out. Our family needs the milk, too! (I’ve started buying Farra calcium supplements and giving her an extra milk ration to help with her growing pains.) But, we’re considering it an investment in meat, which we will enjoy in the fall. Actually, we may sell one of the bucklings to a family in St. Louis who wants the meat and the butchering experience. We’ll raise it for them, they’ll help with the processing and take it home in paper packages. A nice situation.

This week in the garden... harvesting lettuce - yum! I had such a hard time getting the seed to germinate in the house that I ended up sowing it too heavily in the garden, but the thinnings are tasty. We made it through the winter with a variety of sprouts for fresh eating, so it’s nice to have something else (along with all the wild edibles this time of year!). 40 pounds of potatoes are all up and looking great. Sowed half our 8’x8’ plot of carrots (we’ll reseed once or twice for late summer and fall harvests), an onion bed the same size is in, nearly 60 tomato plants are in, though some are pretty puny and I’m not sure they’ll make it. I also found time to get some herbs and flowers in. They go in among the veggies, to add interest and attract beneficial insects.

My style this year is a combination of intensive raised beds and companion gardening and what I’m learning in Steve Solomon’s book, “Gardening When It Counts,” which is very anti-intensive. In particular we’re using Solomon’s recipe for Complete Organic Fertilizer. So, part of my time is in mixing that up and spreading it, digging up every last shovelful of compost from the last three years and spreading it (not much with goats). Had to actually buy some sacked compost this year. If I do things right, with a cow, I shouldn’t ever have to do that again! Also, I bought the most expensive garden tool I’ve had - a decent hoe. What a difference! Solomon also explains how to keep tools sharp and that has been wonderful. Why did I never think to sharpen a spade?

Did some yard clean up and stacked yet more firewood. Bobby helped some in the evenings. He has been big help with the cow and he and she are getting to be pretty good buddies. I miss him (more than she does) when he’s working away from home, but am grateful for the income. This week turned into an extra special blessing, as he helped an old employer remodel his kitchen. Kelly ended up paying him half again as much as he said he would and also gave him some very expensive tools. Kelly ran his own business for awhile and I guess is now scaling down. I get a kick out of this - nearly all of his tools are black and yellow. Company colors. So he buys mostly DeWalt and Stanely. If it’s blue or green, he doesn’t want it. Whatever blows your hair back, eh? Anyway, he is a very kind and generous man. He also gave us a couple bags of clothes that his little girl had grown out of - perfect for Blue’s birthday today! She’s tickled pink. And dressed in it. HalleluYah, my provider. His wife was my ob/gyn... we didn’t get along well and she hated our home birthing, but she was there if I needed anything. They’re moving to another area of the state now. Kinda wonder what we’ll do if we have another baby? Speaking of (goodnight! I’m really rabbit trailing), not I, but my sister is expecting again. I’m excited for them.

Little Brook playing dress up in some of the clothes...

I fell in love with our good mooly cow when we first got her, then the reality that we had bought an animal that hadn't been handled much set in. I would say that getting kicked helped it set in rather quickly. With any new addition to the family, there are some adjustments. More so when that new addition is a new species.
When I hurt my back again I was soooo frustrated and asked Bobby if maybe we should sell her. It's hard enough to handle the goats when my back hurts, but at least the children can do all the goat things if I absolutely can't. I know the older children will be able to tackle the cow eventually, but at least not this first year. And if I can't do it, that leaves Bobby. We had a serious talk about it and he assured me that he thought she was still worth the trouble and that he would do anything I was unable to do with her. So far, he has and it's very comforting. You should have heard all the things this guy said he wouldn't do when we moved to the country! Now look at him.

Now that we've gotten used to each other, the cow and I (Bobby's another story entirely), it's much easier. She has settled down into the routine of being tied out in the morning and coming to the barn at night and I realize that when she's frisky it's because she wants to play, not hurt me! That only makes it slightly more reassuring and I certainly don't intend to romp around with an 830 pound T-bone on hooves, but I haven't the fear that she's out to get me. She can be ornery upon occasion, but time has made her easier to read and although she's tried two or three times, she hasn't kicked me again. She definitely resents being made to wait to go out to graze.

My ultimate goal is to never have to mow. It's so wasteful!

I'm relieved to have the barn set up for her now. We'll get into a good routine before she calves. She is going to work out very well for us, I think. She doesn't mind the dogs at all, the children, the chickens pecking around her feet, the goats. From very near the beginning she has never shied from us, just stood waiting for us to approach, sometimes coming to us. This is good - the rest of her herd definitely had that flight distance thing going on. I can walk up to her when she's tied out, pet her all over, mess with her udder, and she doesn't mind. I don't think we'll have too much of a problem milking her. Except my hands and arms might give out! I loathe having to milk a first timer... their teats start off so small! Takes a lot of work and a lot of time to milk those tiny things. I hope it's not as bad with cows as with goats.

Now, if we can just get some fencing up for her and the soon-to-be calf...

Anyway, you can see I’ve been busy this week. On top of everything, it’s co-op week, with cheese and butter from one, bulk grains and other dry goods from another, frozen organic veggies from yet another. I’m so thankful for my options. My garden is large, but not remotely big enough to feed my family. I wonder if we’ll ever be able to provide even half of our own food? Maybe, but I imagine we’d all lose some weight. Ha. Think I’ll just be thankful for what I have.

Now, although most of our days have gone smoothly as the children and I work side by side to accomplish various tasks, I’m going to be honest and tell you that I have worked myself too hard and not spent enough time focused on more important things. Within fifteen minutes of getting out of bed I was milking goats, and I wouldn’t stop working until bedtime. Milking, feeding kid goats, then making breakfast, tying the cow out, organizing the children into a house-cleaning crew, then a gardening crew, a cow watering-crew, lunch crew, dish crew, laundry crew, garden crew, barn crew, dinner crew, dish crew, bed crew... It’s a lot to do, but it’s really not too much unless your attitude is off. If I let any little thing get to me, it snowballs rapidly with all there is to do. Yesterday I reached my breaking point and around lunchtime found myself up the hill, sitting on a rock by the creek, weeping violently. Just ten minutes with my Father and I came back down the hill a new momma, free and unburdened, ready for the tasks of the day. When will I learn to walk in this freedom every minute of the day? At least there's been progress over the years.

Have you ever read the parable of the sower and thought about which seed you are? I have all to often seen myself as the seed sown among thorns, choked by the cares of this world and the deceitfulness of riches. I guess only Yahweh knows. Maybe the fact that I am aware of this and constantly battle it is a good sign?

Here’s something else I’ve been chewing on...

It’s difficult, sometimes, to have beliefs that are so different from the people around us. If these doctrinal differences are ever discussed, you can end up feeling very defensive. You can focus too much on the doctrine instead of on your relationship with Yahweh. I’m all for good doctrine, but to be in a position to constantly defend yours is very tiring and distracting! And the enemy knows it and exploits this weakness. This is why it’s just EASIER to be around people you agree with, the walls are down and you can help each other with heart issues. Alas, easy isn’t always what Yahweh wants for us.

This is the work Yahweh is doing in my heart at this time. I believe I have it in me to overcome, to climb the walls of doctrinal differences (not necessarily change doctrine) and to learn and grow with anyone He puts in my path. To forgive, not to judge... to let love cover a multitude of sins. I believe this is what he wants of me at this time. Maybe he wants it of all of us. I don’t know what it looks like. I just believe the path doesn’t have to be so strife-ridden.

He is softening my heart and also showing me that I don’t have to make this happen, I'm just to trust him. This really hit me today when as I was struggling with the pain of knowing that not everyone on the path feels this way. Some would rather push us away than try to understand us or walk with us. I have been feeling like this was all my fault, that if I had just done this or thought that or could make this point... that I haven't been "pious" enough to make it work... but I feel a freedom from this today. For one, I’m not the only person involved, for another, it might not be Yahweh’s timing or his plan to begin with. The important thing is that each person is examining their hearts and are open to Yahweh’s leading, walking as our brother and king, Yahshua, walked. I just want to be close to Yahweh and yield to his spirit, not hard in my heart and whining over my hurts, like I have been.

Sabbath on Tucker Creek

2010-04-17T21:25:00.001-05:00

Walked down our creek with my children today... what a blessing it is to have this creek! With the waterfalls and most of our property upstream we don't spend much time downstream (the property narrows downstream, too - it's pie shaped, with the creek on one side and the road on the other). Farra was insistant that there were springs down there and sure enough, there were a few places where icy cold water just flowed out of the rockybank and trickled into the creek. We have live springs! I'm so excited. Too bad they're not uphill from the house...

Here's some images from today and last week...

Little Brook

Farra & Atira helping me macrame a plant hanger

Royal

Seth recovering from a near fall

kids in their "cave"

even the doggies had fun

Atira

Blue, very happy about her slime ball

Not one of my kids, but nice creations anyway

Goats n' such

2010-04-17T21:11:00.001-05:00

As per usual, when there's a lot to blog about, there's little time to do so. Nothing says spring like baby goats, and we now have three of them. Farra's goat, April (Dessy's first), had her first baby the day before the Thompson's wedding in TN. We knew she was close and Farra camped out in the barn, but nothing happened. Later that Sabbath, after lunch, I think, I looked out the window and saw April standing there nursing her new baby. Man, we missed it! Maybe next time. Anyway, she had a little doe kid which Farra named Ahava, which she tells me is Hebrew for beloved. We are now locking Ahava up at night and milking in the morning. The first milk always seems to taste off (even past the colostrum stage), but there's plenty of it. Ahh... wonderful raw milk!

A week or more before this blessed event, however, we adopted two bottle-fed kids. A friend called on behalf of a friend of theirs whose Kikos (meat goats) are having triplets that they can't support - would we like to adopt a day old buckling? Well, of course we would! So what if I'm flat on my back in pain and we're paying $6.50 a gallon for fresh goat milk that is barely enough for our family while we wait for our does to freshen... We called our milk lady who graciously sold us extra milk for the little guy and since we were keen on bottle feeding offered us a three week old LaMancha buckling. Well, why not?

          So, the Kiko is Siegfried and follows us around everywhere, as he's sure he's a human and not one of those other things in the pasture. We plan to keep him to breed our does to in the future. His owner says Kiko bucks don't stink as much as diary bucks, and besides, our neighbor sold their buck, which we usually use. With the cow due in June, we'll have plenty of milk and won't be increasing our goat herd for milk, just for meat, so they might as well be meatier kids.
           The LaMancha is Oscar and will probably be on our table in the fall, unless someone offers us money for him. He's a sweetie, huge for his age, but sure is goofy looking with no ears!
            Now we're waiting on Dessy to freshen... any day now! I'm hoping for something other than WHITE babies, which the other three are, because I find white goats incredibly boring. =)

Now, the only goat I haven't mentioned is Dessy's doe kid from last year, named Daisy. She's Atira's goat. A few weeks ago, while we were working on the barn addition (maybe we'll finish tomorrow?), we witnessed something I have personally never seen or heard of... which isn't saying a lot, but my Mom hadn't either, and she's been around animals off and on her whole life. Our 1yr old tom cat, Sunny, and this 1yr old doe were playing together. Really playing together. They ran up and down and all around this fallen tree, teasing and chasing each other. We were in stitches. We watched for about ten minutes before Atira fetched the camera. Sunny was plum worn out by that time, but the following video is still something special...

Here's a shot of Siegfried (yes, from All Creatures Great And Small) the afternoon we got him

Here he is yesterday, I think

We intended to disbud him, but our neighbors couldn't find their disbudding tool and by the time I ordered one at the feed store and received it, it was too late. I'd rather have natural horns than scurs (messed up, partial horns) and so it is.

Guess we haven't got any of Oscar, yet...

Territorial female dog

2010-04-17T20:30:00.001-05:00

Our doggie went a little nutzo after we had her spayed a couple months ago. She rarely attacks her sister Flo now.

Lachlann & Shanna's wedding

2010-04-17T20:22:00.004-05:00

By a minor miracle, we made it to our friends wedding last weekend. It was the sweetest wedding I've ever been to. The groom and the other young men came marching in from across the field, blowing shofars and shouting. They stopped and Lachlann came forward... I don't think there was a dry eye there when Shanna took off running to meet him and they hugged for the very first time.

I wanted to share this video of their first dance with you. I thought it was simply beautiful. The girls dancing in the circle are Shanna's sisters. The music is being played and sung by our mutual friend and my neighbor, Alan Martin.

Not only was it a beautiful wedding and a great celebration, but several families we knew stayed over from Family Week (a Passover gathering in KY) and fellowshipped with us. Wish we could've stayed longer, but that's life on a farm...

Passover and Snakes

2010-03-30T21:14:00.000-05:00

Molly, the cow, lowing in the barn, happy with her grain but disappointed to not be on her tether, grazing. Our oldest and youngest goats are bleating, upset that Farra has put her goat, April, out to browse. April's bell tinkles as she chews her way around the fresh spring growth, her belly full with her first kid(s), due within the next couple weeks.

The peepers are peeping, the chickens have settled in their coop with only an occasional squawk, the summer evening bugs are tuning their legs and voice boxes in preparation, the breeze is picking up and cooling down but still carries the light scents of spring. Damp earth. Grass. Sunshine. Daffodils. Forsythias along the drive.

All this revealed through my open bedroom window. I'm confined to bed, having hurt my back pretty bad yesterday morning. I could mope. I could fret about the work to be done in the garden, the seed potatoes that need to be cut and planted, the greenhouse plants that need hardening off, the barn addition that needs to be finished, the laundry, the whatnots... maybe tomorrow. Today Yahweh's granted me strength to focus on his blessings. =) And it's a Sabbath, so I wouldn't work on those things if I could.

Our family celebrated the beginning of the Feast of Unleavened Bread today (aka Passover). It's a celebration of Yahweh's raising up the savior Moses to set free our spiritual brethren, the Israelites, from bondage in Egypt, as well as his raising up our brother Yahshua to set us free from our sins, to redeem us, to show us how to live pure lives, how to love. The unleavened bread represents a sin-free life. And it's tasty.

My parents also keep this feast and came out today to celebrate with us. I have no idea what went on while I was in bed, but did get to visit a little bit when they came in and I'm sure Bobby and the children had a good time with them. Family is awesome.

After my folks had gone, the three older children went to play in the creek. On these nice days they seem to spend every free moment by the creek. Atira spotted and Farra caught this groovy water snake.

MeMom had just reminded them today of our family tradition (instituted when I was a child) of rewards for the first snake of the season and the largest snake of the season. Can't just sight it, have to catch it and have witnesses. Here they are (in my bedroom), in their wet creek clothes, after discussing how to split the moolah.

Little Brook, just waking from her nap, wasn't too sure what her sister was holding...

Here's Farra, confirming snakey's identity with the Missouri Reptiles and Amphibians book: a Midland water snake, subspecies of the Northern (aka common or banded) water snake. They have a gland that produces a disgusting smell (note Bobby, above).

Note: this is the largest snake my children have ever caught, though Farra was after a 4' black rat snake last summer. They are not allowed to pick a snake up unless they can identify it (and confirm it's non-venomous status).

Neither here nor there, but maybe of interest to someone... We have five venomous varieties of snake in our state, three of which are rattlers, one is the Copperhead and the other the Cottonmouth. The common water snakes are rather aggressive (the book says "pugnacious"), but fairly clearly distinguishable from the Cottonmouth. In my 20 years in MO, with much time spent in field, wood and stream, I have only ever encountered one venomous snake. A smallish Copperhead, last fall. It was crossing a paved hiking trail and the kids saw and recognized it immediately.

I grew up with snakes. I think they're fascinating creatures. I get this from my mom, who got it from her dad. Mom had boas and sometimes a python or two when I was growing up, as well as different local species at different times. Not just snakes but lizards, turtles, frogs, etc. Mom would take our menagerie to schools, camps, girls scout groups, whoever was interested, and teach about what she loved (with a creationist/young earth worldview hard to find in such educators today). It was incredible how folk's attitudes changed toward reptiles by the time Mom was done. Incredible how knowledge can help overcome fear. A teacher's aid or nurse that was so afraid of snakes that she wouldn't even enter the room (but listened from the doorway) would bravely come forward and touch the tail of a 6' boa. It was a neat time and I would love to see my mom do it again. When we moved to MO I had a hard time fitting in but soon was recognized as the "snake lady's daughter." Who knows what that did to my future. ;)

I admit, that although I like them I have never gotten used to holding them. Just don't care for the way they feel clinging to my bare arms or squirming in my hands. The only time I ever held one of our boas (the small one) was in front of my class, just to be cool. The only reason I caught them in the wild was for that reward. One time I was hangin' with my aunt (mom's sister, who also likes critters) and we went into a Best Buy store with our hair done in high pony tails with baby Ball Pythons wrapped around them in place of ribbons. That was fun, too. In the hair they don't bother you so much. When they start to hang down in your face they bother other people.

I carry on the family tradition in a fashion. Turtles are more my speed, and each spring, the first Sunday in May, we hold a box turtle race. Come one, come all. (No rabbits, please.) We have a check-in where we measure the turtles, check their species, assign a number and then the children can paint them. Prizes are for the winner of the race, the most colorful, the sleepiest turtle (for the poor kid who's terrapin never peeps out of it's shell), the largest and the smallest. It's been a big hit. We have other games, too, and I've been trying to work in more educational bits. I get a package of literature from the conservation department and hand it out. I hope this year I can display some other reptiles and amphibians and maybe get my Mom or friend Merry (another snake lady) to share. I hope I'll be out of bed by then.

Guess that was all kinda random... Just wanted to write. Thanks for reading. More later.

A Brief Look At The Worship And Glorification of Yahshua

2010-03-17T10:20:00.000-05:00

A friend put this to me: "I had a friend read your page and he said that he's heard your sort of perspectives before but also suggested wouldn't it be wrong for Yeshua to allow people to worship him if he were not divine? He was refereing to the time when Christ entered Jeruselm before the crucifixion. What is your thought?"

I love these sincere questions and thought I'd share our answer here for others to consider.

First, about divinity. This is where the concordance comes in. In the NT you'll find the word divinity means "godlike." Well, Yahshua IS like our elohim, more so than any of us, though we are also made in Yah's image and called to be just like Him. I do believe Yahshua is divine. The problem is that most people see "divine" and "deity" as the same thing. LIKE god is not the same thing as GOD. So, really what we question is the teaching that Messiah is deity. IS he Yahweh, or just LIKE Yahweh?

The issue of worship is a fun one, I think you'll like it. Again, we use the concordance:

Hebrew 7812
שׁחה
shâchâh

(pronouced) shaw-khaw'

A primitive root; to depress, that is, prostrate (especially reflexively in homage to royalty or God): - bow (self) down, crouch, fall down (flat), humbly beseech, do (make) obeisance, do reverence, make to stoop, worship.
Greek 4352
προσκυνέω
proskuneō
(pronounced) pros-koo-neh'-o

From G4314 and probably a derivative of G2965 (meaning to kiss, like a dog licking his master’s hand); to fawn or crouch to, that is, (literally or figuratively) prostrate oneself in homage (do reverence to, adore): - worship.

Nothing mysterious here. For starters, he wasn't being worshiped as elohim, but as king. And wasn't it right for Yahshua, the rightful king, the much anticipated anointed one, to receive the homage due him? Consider these verses:

Mat 2:2 "Where is He who has been born King of the Jews? For we saw His star in the east, and have come to worship Him."

Heb 1:6 And when He again brings the first-born into the world, He says, "AND LET ALL THE ANGELS OF GOD WORSHIP HIM."

Being a humble man, he never sought worship, but always pointed to the Father, and others were quick to worship Yahweh because of Yahshua.

Joh 4:21 Jesus said to her, "Woman, believe Me, an hour is coming when neither in this mountain, nor in Jerusalem, shall you worship the Father.
Joh 4:22 "You worship that which you do not know; we worship that which we know, for salvation is from the Jews.
Joh 4:23 "But an hour is coming, and now is, when the true worshipers shall worship the Father in spirit and truth; for such people the Father seeks to be His worshipers.
Joh 4:24 "Elohim is spirit, and those who worship Him must worship in spirit and truth."

A look at the word "glorified" is helpful, too.

Greek 1392
δοξάζω
doxazō
(pronounced) dox-ad'-zo
From G1391; to render (or esteem) glorious (in a wide application): - (make) glorify (-ious), full of (have) glory, honour, magnify.

Mat 9:8 But when the multitudes saw this, they were filled with awe, and glorified Elohim, who had given such authority to men. (Note "to MEN")

Mat 15:31 so that the multitude marveled as they saw the dumb speaking, the crippled restored, and the lame walking, and the blind seeing; and they glorified the elohim of Israel

Yahweh intended to glorify Yahshua...

Joh 7:39 But this He spoke of the Spirit, whom those who believed in Him were to receive; for the Spirit was not yet given, because Yahshua was not yet glorified.

Joh 11:4 But when Yahshua heard it, He said, "This sickness is not unto death, but for the glory of Elohim, that the Son of Elohim may be glorified by it."

Joh 12:16 These things His disciples did not understand at the first; but when Yahshua was glorified, then they remembered that these things were written of Him, and that they had done these things to Him.

Joh 12:23 And Jesus answered them, saying, "The hour has come for the Son of Man to be glorified.

But always turned the glory back to his Father...

Joh 12:28 "Father, glorify Thy name." There came therefore a voice out of heaven: "I have both glorified it, and will glorify it again."

Joh 13:31 When therefore he had gone out, Yahshua said, "Now is the Son of Man glorified, and Elohim is glorified in Him;
Joh 13:32 if Elohim is glorified in Him, Elohim will also glorify Him in Himself, and will glorify Him immediately.

Joh 14:13 "And whatever you ask in My name, that will I do, that the Father may be glorified in the Son.

Joh 17:3 "And this is eternal life, that they may know Thee, the only true Elohim, and Yahshua Messiah whom Thou hast sent.
Joh 17:4 "I glorified Thee on the earth, having accomplished the work which Thou hast given Me to do.

I love this last one because it makes the whole thing abundantly clear. Especially, "that they may know thee, the ONLY true elohim, AND Yahshua Messiah whom thou hast sent." The gospel acredited to John (though more likely written by Lazarus) is all about love and glory!

Act 3:13 "The Elohim of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, the Elohim of our fathers, has glorified His servant Yahshua, the one whom you delivered up, and disowned in the presence of Pilate, when he had decided to release Him.

1Pe 4:11 Whoever speaks, let him speak, as it were, the utterances of Elohim; whoever serves, let him do so as by the strength which Elohim supplies; so that in all things Elohim may be glorified through Yahshua Messiah, to whom belongs the glory and dominion forever and ever. Amen.

Anyway, there's tons more, but you get the idea. Do note that there was a time that Yahshua WAS NOT glorified. His hour hadn't come yet. If he were Yahweh in the flesh, he would have been a glorified being from the beginning, wouldn't he?

Whatcha think?

Why I Don't Go To Church Anymore

2010-03-16T09:25:00.001-05:00

I found the following article as a link on the sidebar of a blog I read. My usual disclaimer applies - I haven't read anything else at this website and don't know anything about them, so follow links at your own discretion (always!). That said, I thought this piece was very well written, kind of speaks my thoughts (in a more gentle fashion than I could write), and might hit the spot for some of you. Enjoy.

Why I Don't Go To Church Anymore: Living in the Relational Church - Part 6

By Wayne Jacobsen
BodyLife • May 2001

Dear Fellow-believer,

I do appreciate your concern for me and your willingness to raise issues that have caused you concern. I know the way I relate to the church is a bit unconventional and some even call it dangerous. Believe me, I understand that concern because I used to think that way myself and even taught others to as well.

If you are happy with the status quo of organized religion today, you may not like what you read here. My purpose is not to convince you to see this incredible church the same way I do, but to answer your questions as openly and honestly as I can. Even if we don't end up agreeing, hopefully you will understand that our differences need not estrange us as members of Christ's body.

Where do you go to church?

I have never liked this question, even when I was able to answer it with a specific organization. I know what it means culturally, but it is based on a false premise--that church is something you can go to as in a specific event, location or organized group. I think Jesus looks at the church quite differently. He didn't talk about it as a place to go to, but a way of living in relationship to him and to other followers of his.

Asking me where I go to church is like asking me where I go to Jacobsen. How do I answer that? I am a Jacobsen and where I go a Jacobsen is. 'Church' is that kind of word. It doesn't identify a location or an institution. It describes a people and how they relate to each other. If we lose sight of that, our understanding of the church will be distorted and we'll miss out on much of its joy.

Are you just trying to avoid the question?

I know it may only sound like quibbling over words, but words are important. When we only ascribe the term 'church' to weekend gatherings or institutions that have organized themselves as 'churches' we miss out on what it means to live as Christ's body. It will give us a false sense of security to think that by attending a meeting once a week we are participating in God's church. Conversely I hear people talk about 'leaving the church' when they stop attending a specific congregation.

But if the church is something we are, not someplace we go, how can we leave it unless we abandon Christ himself? And if I think only of a specific congregation as my part of the church, haven't I separated myself from a host of other brothers and sisters that do not attend the same one I do?

The idea that those who gather on Sunday mornings to watch a praise concert and listen to a teaching are part of the church and those who do not, are not, would be foreign to Jesus. The issue is not where we are at a given time during the weekend, but how we are living in him and with other believers all week long.

But don't we need regular fellowship?

I wouldn't say we need it. If we were in a place where we couldn't find other believers, Jesus certainly would be able to take care of us. Thus, I'd phrase that a bit differently: Will people who are growing to know the Living God also desire real and meaningful connections with other believers? Absolutely! The call to the kingdom is not a call to isolation. Every person I've ever met who is thriving in the life of Jesus has a desire to share authentic fellowship with other believers. They realize that whatever they know of God's life is just in part, and only the fullest revelation of him is in the church.

But sometimes that kind of fellowship is not easy to find. Periodically on this journey we may go through times when we can't seem to find any other believers who share our hunger. That's especially true for those who find that conforming to the expectations of the religious institutions around them diminishes their relationship with Jesus. They may find themselves excluded by believers with whom they've shared close friendship. But no one going through that looks on that time as a treat. It is incredibly painful and they will look for other hungry believers to share the journey with.

My favorite expression of body life is where a local group of people chooses to walk together for a bit of the journey by cultivating close friendships and learning how to listen to God together.

Shouldn't we be committed to a local fellowship?

That has been said so often today, that most of us assume it is in the Bible somewhere. I haven't found it yet. Many of us have been led to believe that we can't possibly survive without the 'covering of the body' and will either fall into error or backslide into sin. But doesn't that happen inside our local congregations as well?

I know many people who live outside those structures and find not only an ever-deepening relationship with God, but also connections with other believers that run far deeper than they found in the institution. I haven't lost any of my passion for Jesus or my affection for his church. If anything those have grown by leaps and bounds in recent years.

Scripture does encourage us to be devoted to one another not committed to an institution. Jesus indicated that whenever two or three people get together focused on him, they would experience the vitality of church life.

Is it helpful to regularly participate in a local expression of that reality? Of course. But we make a huge mistake when we assume that fellowship takes place just because we attend the same event together, even regularly, or because we belong to the same organization. Fellowship happens where people share the journey of knowing Jesus together. It consists of open, honest sharing, genuine concern about each other's spiritual well being and encouragement for people to follow Jesus however he leads them.

But don't our institutions keep us from error?

I'm sorry to burst your bubble here, but every major heresy that has been inflicted on God's people for the last 2,000 years has come from organized groups with 'leaders' who thought they knew God's mind better than anyone around them. Conversely, virtually every move of God among people hungering for him was rejected by the 'church' of that day and were excluded, excommunicated or executed for following God.

If that is where you hope to find security, I'm afraid it is sorely misplaced. Jesus didn't tell us that 'going to church' would keep us safe, but that trusting him would. He gave us an anointing of the Spirit so that we would know the difference between truth and error. That anointing is cultivated as we learn his ways in his Word and grow closer to his heart. It will help you recognize when expressions of church you share life with becomes destructive to his work in you.

So are traditional congregations wrong?

Absolutely not! I have found many of them with people who love God and are seeking to grow in his ways. I visit a couple of dozen different congregations a year that I find are far more centered on relationship than religion. Jesus is at the center of their life together, and those who act as leaders are true servants and not playing politics of leadership, so that all are encouraged to minister to one another.

I pray that even more of them are renewed in a passion for Jesus, a genuine concern for each other and a willingness to serve the world with God's love. But I think we'd have to admit that these are rare in our communities and many only last for a short span before they unwittingly look to institutional answers for the needs of the body instead of remaining dependent on Jesus. When that happens do not feel condemned if God leads you not to go along with them.

So should I stop going to church, too?

I'm afraid that question also misses the point. You see I don't believe you're going to church any more than I am. We're just part of it. Be your part, however Jesus calls you to and wherever he places you. Not all of us grow in the same environment.

If you gather with a group of believers at a specific time and place and that participation helps you grow closer to Jesus and allows you to follow his work in you, by all means don't think you have to leave. Keep in mind, however, that of itself is not the church. It is just one of many expressions of it in the place where you live.

Don't be tricked into thinking that just because you attend its meetings you are experiencing real body life. That only comes as God connects you with a handful of brothers and sisters with whom you can build close friendships and share the real ups and downs of this journey.

That can happen among traditional congregations, as it can also happen beyond them. In the last seven years I've meet hundreds if not thousands of people who have grown disillusioned with traditional congregations and are thriving spiritually as they share God's life with others, mostly in their homes.

Then meeting in homes is the answer?

Of course not. But let's be clear: as fun as it is to enjoy large group worship and even be instructed by gifted teachers, the real joy of body life can't be shared in huge groups. The church for its first 300 years found the home the perfect place to gather. They are much more suited to the dynamics of family which is how Jesus described his body.

But meeting in homes is no cure-all. I've been to some very sick home meetings and met in facilities with groups who shared an authentic body life together. But the time I spend in regular body life I want to spend face to face with a group of people. I know it isn't popular today where people find it is far easier to sit through a finely-tuned (or not so finely-tuned) service and go home without ever having to open up our life or care about another person's journey.

But ultimately what matters most to me is not where or how they meet, but whether or not people are focused on Jesus and really helping each other on the journey to becoming like him. Meetings are less the issue here than the quality of relationships. I am always looking for people like that wherever I am and always rejoice when I find it. In our new home in Oxnard, we've found a few folks and are hopeful to find even more.

Aren't you just reacting out of hurt?

I suppose that is possible and time will tell, I guess, but I honestly don't believe so. Anyone who is engaged in real body life will get hurt at times. But there are two kinds of hurt. There's the kind of pain that points to a problem that can be fixed with the right care - such as a badly sprained ankle. Then there's the kind of pain that can only be fixed by pulling away - as when you put your hand on a hot stove.

Perhaps all of us have experienced some measure of pain as we have tried to fit God's life into institutions. For a long time most of us hung in there hoping if we tweaked a few things it would get better. Though we could be successful in limited ways during moments of renewal, we also discovered that eventually the conformity an institution demands and the freedom people need to grow in Christ are at odds with one another. It has happened with virtually every group formed throughout the history of Christianity.

Are you looking for the perfect church?

No, and I don't anticipate finding one this side of eternity. Perfection is not my goal, but finding people with God's priorities. It's one thing for people to struggle toward an ideal they share together. It's another to realize that our ideals have little in common.

I make no secret of the fact that I am deeply troubled by the state of organized Christianity. Most of what we call 'church' today are nothing more than well-planned performances with little actual connection between believers. Believers are encouraged toward a growing dependency on the system or its leadership rather than on Jesus himself. We spend more energy conforming behavior to what the institution needs rather than helping people be transformed at the foot of the cross!

I'm tired of trying to fellowship with people who only view church as a two-hour a week dumping ground for guilt while they live the rest of the week with the same priorities as the world. I'm tired of those who depend on their own works of righteousness but who have no compassion for the people of the world. I'm tired of insecure people using the Body of Christ as an extension of their own ego and will manipulate it to satisfy their own needs. I'm tired of sermons more filled with the bondage of religion than the freedom of God's love and where relationships take a back seat to the demands of an efficient institution.

But don't our children need church activities?

I'd suggest that what they need most is to be integrated into God's life through relational fellowship with other believers. 92% of children who grow up in Sunday schools with all the puppets and high-powered entertainment, leave 'church' when they leave their parents' home? Instead of filling our children with ethics and rules we need to demonstrate how to live in God's life together.

Even sociologists tell us that the #1 factor in determining whether a child will thrive in society is if they have deep, personal friendships with nonrelative adults. No Sunday school can fill that role. I know of one community in Australia who after 20 years of sharing God's life together as families could say that they had not lost one child to the faith as they grew into adulthood. I know I cut across the grain here, but it is far more important that our children experience real fellowship among believers rather than the bells and whistles of a slick children's program.

What dynamics of body life do you look for?

I'm always looking for a people who are seeking to follow the Living Christ. He is at the center of their lives, their affections and their conversation. They look to be authentic and free others to hurt when they hurt, to question what they question and to follow his voice without others accusing them of being divisive or rebellious. I look for people who are not wasting their money on extravagant buildings or flashy programs; where people sitting next to each other are not strangers; and where they all participate as a priesthood to God instead of watch passively from a safe distance.

Aren't you giving people an excuse to sit home and do nothing?

I hope not, though I know it is a danger. I realize some people who leave traditional congregations end up abusing that freedom to satisfy their own desires and thus miss out on church life altogether. Neither am I a fan of 'church hoppers', who whip around to one place after another looking for the latest fad or the best opportunity to fulfill their own selfish desires.

But most of the people I meet and talk with are not outside the system because they have lost their passion for Jesus or his people, but only because the traditional congregations near them couldn't satisfy their hunger for relationship. They are seeking authentic expressions of body life and pay an incredible cost to seek it out. Believe me, we would all find it easier just to go with the flow, but once you've tasted of living fellowship between passionate believers, it is impossible to settle for anything less.

Isn't this view of church divisive?

Not of itself. People make it divisive when they demand that people conform to their revelation of truth. Most of us on the journey are accused of being divisive because freedom can be threatening to those who find their security in a religious system. But must of us aren't trying to recruit others to leave their congregations. We see the body of Christ big enough to encompass God's people however he calls them to gather.

One of the things often said about traditional church is that Sunday morning is the most segregated hour in American culture. We only meet with people who look like we do and like things the way we do. I've found now that I have far more opportunity to get with people from a broader cross-section of his body. I don't demand others do it my way and I hope in time that those who see it differently will stop demanding we conform to theirs.

Where can I find that kind of fellowship?

There's no easy answer here. It might be right in front of you among the fellowship you're already in. It might be down the street in your neighborhood or across a cubicle at work. You can also get involved in compassionate outreaches to the needy and broken in your locality as a way to live out his life in you and meet others with a similar hunger.

Don't expect this kind of fellowship to fall easily into an organization. It is organic, and Jesus can lead you to it right where you are. Look for him to put a dozen or so folks around your life with whom you can share the journey. They may not even all go to the same congregation you do. They might be neighbors or coworkers who are following after God. Wouldn't that kind of interconnection among God's people yield some incredible fruit?

Don't expect it to be easy or run smoothly. It will take some specific choices on our part to be obedient to Jesus. It may take some training to shake off old habits and be free to let him build his community around you, but it is all worth it. I know it bothers some people that I don't take my regular place in a pew on Sunday morning, but I can tell you absolutely that my worst days outside organized religion are still better than my best days inside it. To me the difference is like listening to someone talk about golf or actually taking a set of clubs out to a course and playing golf. Being his church is like that. In our day we don't need more talk about the church, but people who are simply ready to live in its reality.

People all over the world are freshly discovering how to do that again. You can be one of them as you let him place you in his body as he desires.
--------------------------------
BodyLife is published periodically by Lifestream Ministries and is sent free of charge to anyone who requests it. For those with email we recommend our web-based version so that we can hold down costs and get it to you much more quickly. This is especially important for international subscribers.

© Copyright 2010 Lifestream Ministries

Permission is herby granted to anyone wishing to make copies for free distribution.

Miss Molly Moo

2010-03-15T09:35:00.000-05:00

Now that my camera batteries are recharged, here's a couple more pics of Molly.

Trying to taste the camera... I wonder if I'll always think this is adorable?

Visible Signs of Spring

2010-03-14T11:50:00.000-05:00

Brought home our spring batch of pullets (female chicks). Two dozen (I hope to sell eggs later this summer). Mostly Barred Rocks, some Rhode Island Reds, Black Autstralorps and Buff Orpingtons. (As a side note, we kept a Buff Orp. rooster last year out of our batch of straight runs because I'd heard they were gentle. We have had no problems with this guy. He is not agressive at all!) An old laundry basket by the woodstove works good for the first day or two while I get their main box set up. They're now on my sewing desk in a back room, in an old dryer box from the local furniture store (moving soon to a frig box).

I like the fun colored eggs (we also get white), but the Arucanas are so anti-social! They stay far away from people and they only lay in the coop if I keep them locked up, which doesn't work with my free range approach. I'll probably sell them when the others start laying. The one Barred Rock hen that I got last spring is my favorite - so personable! That's why I opted for more.

After the May 8th storm ("derecho") took down my clotheslines last year (well, the storm took down trees which took down the clotheslines), and I was so busy cleaning with everything else, I don't think I hung any laundry out. They're up now and here's my first bit o' laundry hanging in the breeze. Behind that you'll see part of the garden, freshly tilled. Look past the garden and you'll see a couple goats. We're expecting kids mid-April. That's always the crowning moment of spring around here!

Babies running around outside in cloth diapers surely means spring...

Some other recent shots...

Little Brook munching a homemade (is there another kind?), whole wheat choc. chip cookie.

Seth washing dishes...

Royal and Atira hammin' it up...

Interesting

2010-03-13T18:01:00.000-06:00

Saw this posted elsewhere...

"The message of salvation started out as relationship restored with Father Yahweh.
It then went to Greece to become a philosophy,
it went to Rome to become a religion,
it went to Europe to become part of tradition and culture,
and to America to become an enterprise."

(author unknown)

The Good Moolly Cow

2010-03-13T11:40:00.001-06:00

I'm going to tell you about our new cow and our well earned Sabbath.

Been talking about getting a family milk cow for a few months. I checked newspapers, craigslist, and asked around and there wasn't much out there. I'd located one little Jersey heifer for sale (I'm now buying goat milk from this lady - mine have one more month to go), but, sweet as she was, she was just a little too expensive for a heifer that can't even be bred until this summer (add $300 if you want to wait and buy her bred). We had pretty much decided it would be more sensible to hold off until next year and invest this year in improving the barn and running some more fence.

Wait three days... When have we ever done the sensible thing when it comes to homesteading?

Wednesday night I was unwinding after dinner and decided to hop on the "farm & garden" section of craigslist to see what I might find, cow or otherwise. (I don't do this often, usually only when I'm looking for a particular item, and can only attribute my random bouts of classified "window shopping" to my dear dad who must have passed the habit on. Is it learned or is it in the blood, I wonder?) Lo and behold, there was an ad for two Jersey heifers, bred to calve in June. No price. Three hours away.

(Wouldn't it be easier if I just told you, "Hey, we bought a cow. I'm very excited." Do I really have to tell you ALL the details?)

I called. Same price as the expensive heifer listed above (the "buy now" price, not the bred price), but being bred already to a Jersey bull made her a much better deal for the price. We could have milk this summer. And, the family runs a dairy farm and we had six heifers to choose from. The downside, as it turns out, is an animal that's not quite as well-handled and used to people as the spoiled little thing my milk lady has.

I talked to Bobby. I played with our finances to see if we had enough "extra" from our tax return (aside from what we set aside for bills) to do this. We did. Just enough, plus some for gas to get down there. It means we don't get a new water heater, the extra fencing will have to wait, and Bobby has to zip right back to work. I read some more of my cow books before bed. I dreamt cow dreams. I woke up very excited and begged my husband to make a decision. "I'm counting on you to make the final decision," I told him. "I admit I'm too excited to see this situation clearly. If you think it would be wiser to wait, I will accept that. I can tell you we have the money, we have a place to put one, we have food to feed one, and barring tragical accidents we will make our money out of one, and last but not least, I really want one!"

Bobby is not a very talkative or expressive fellow, so I can't tell you anything interesting about his response. He seemed reluctant to take the responsibility for the final decision and after the first shrug and disinterested, "I don't know," and my gentle prodding for an answer, he gave me the go-ahead. '"You'd better call the guy." Wahoo! A decided answer from my phlegmatic spouse is a rare and much sought after item around here!

We told the guy we were coming later in the day (if not that day, we wouldn't have a chance until the middle of next week and we wanted first pick). Now, how are we going to bring this thing home? Thank Yah for friends with cattle trailers! After some arranging, picking up the trailer, listening to our sweet cattle friend tell us that Jerseys are the meanest cows in the world and that if we want a good milk cow we should get a Holstein (though he's had much experience with all sorts of animals, he's a beef guy, bless his heart. I love him so!), we were on our way. It was lunch time. Kind of a late start.

The three hour drive took four, hauling the trailer. We were racing darkness. We were surprised by the sheer number of cows packed onto this backwoods dairy farm. We were sad when the owner lady said, "they're a little on the scrawny side because we haven't had the money for grain." Oh dear. Interestingly, on the phone, her husband told me they feed mostly hay and grass, not much grain, because they don't like to "push" their girls.

I'll rabbit trail just for a minute because I've been painfully aware the last few months of the state of modern farming and dairying, and the source of our food is a subject dear to my heart. This woman had called me after I talked to her husband to tell me that they needed to be paid with a cashier's check because they had a lien on the cows that her husband had forgotten about. She said they'd had a really hard winter and had to "hawk" their cows to make it through. "We used to be able to just sell whatever we wanted and now we have to talk to the loan officer first." I told her we had intended to pay cash anyway and she said that was fine, they just couldn't take a personal check.

I think their dairy is probably a good picture of what's going on across America. The dairy, like I said, was small and packed. They milk (by machine) only about forty cows. You can tell they cared about the cows, but that the driving force behind everything they did was to make money. And not money to excess, but money just to stay afloat. And failing at that. The milk man was coming to pick up their milk just as we were leaving. I had asked her who they sell their milk to (a company on the MO/AR line I was unfamiliar with) and she explained how they pay not only by butterfat content but also by protein content, unlike most companies. I thought that was interesting. I didn't ask what they were paid for their milk. I'm probably better off not knowing.

I have a lot of thoughts on large-scale dairying, but if you're interested in that sort of thing you've already read it all elsewhere. Dairying on a small scale, providing untreated milk and milk products for our family, selling extra to friends and family.... now, that's what I'm talking about!

Where was I? Oh, the six heifers. One was smaller and the owner wanted to keep her after all. One was bred later than the rest and bred with an Angus bull, and although cheaper we ruled her out because we wanted milk sooner (and the possibility of a purebred heifer we could sell). So really it was only a choice of four nearly identical heifers. Thankfully, the heifer decided for us. Curious as cats, the lot of them, the one we picked left the others and came to the gate to check us out. She was a little wary of being touched, but not afraid of us.

I should speed this up a bit because the really interesting part happened much later, as my facebook friends are aware! It was tricky to get her in the trailer, but we succeeded. She was totally freaked out the whole way home. I can't praise Bobby enough for his careful driving! He drove as if his own children were in that trailer. The three-turned-four hour drive turned into a five hour drive. We got home just after 10pm. Ugh. I guess there is something to be said about buying local. I definitely was thinking about my milk-lady's heifer on the way home! I still felt like this was a good deal and would work out.

All the kids got a good look at her before we went into the house. Royal commented that she was a "huvvy one" (all my kids have said "huvvy" for heavy and I think it's so dear). I agreed and said she was very strong (they're suppose to be twice as strong as a horse the same size) and that someday we'd teach her to pull a cart. He laughed like this was a most absurd idea and told me, "She can't pull a cart! She doesn't have arms!"

I thought it would be best to let the cow settle down in the trailer overnight. We could deal with her in the morning. I still wasn't sure if we should put her in the barn in a stall (which she wouldn't be used to) or if she should go in our little pasture (we'd put the goats in the barn). I had some reservations about our lazy fencing... anyway, I just didn't want to think about it, I was so tired! Everyone but Bobby was in bed by 10:30. I left Bobby with a cow book opened to instructions for making a rope halter. That might have been a mistake.

Around 12:30am Bobby walks into the bedroom, waking me from a dead sleep, saying, "So, is there any reason she can't go into the pasture tonight?" I grumbled something about it being better to wait until morning and he said, "because she's already in there." I wasn't very happy about it, still didn't think it was a good idea, but I guess I just couldn't clear the sleepy fog from my head to think it through and since he seemed confident and happy with what he'd done, I promptly fell back asleep. That might have been a mistake, too. (The words "homesteading" and "mistake" are commonly used together.)

I woke up around 5:30am and Bobby still hadn't come to bed. Not unusual for him, but I never rest well when he's up so I got up to see what he was about. He walked in the front door as I came out of the bedroom and informed me with an incredibly exasperated, discouraged look on his face, "The cow is gone."

Around 2:30, as he was doing some bible study at the dining table, he heard our outside dog barking (Pyr outside, Dane inside). (Me, gently: "You left the dogs out? Don't you remember me reading to you how cows don't like dogs?" This was my only "you should have" comment the whole time - this poor guy knew his mistakes and was suffering terribly without any help from me!) He went out to see what was up and poor moolly cow had gone AWOL. Our saggy fence was sagging a little lower in one place where she had gone over and her tracks were in the mud just outside of it. Unfortunately, we found NO other tracks, the whole time we searched for her, in spite of the mud!

I quietly returned to bed and began praying fervently. Prayer definitely made the difference for me yesterday as there just wasn't much I could do. I wanted to fret, but the more I prayed the more confident I became that whatever happened, things would be okay. I had peace. Because I turned to Yahweh, I was an encouragement to my family instead of an emotional drain. Bobby was more discouraged as each hour passed without any news or clue. He was also feeling the effects of not having slept. My parents came out as well as my sister and her husband (with their baby and his two older kids that were visiting). I held the fort and went about my usual Sabbath preparations (doubling just about everything I was preparing in order to feed the search crew). I was already a little behind because we'd spent the previous day picking up this cow. It hurt physically (back's still whacky), but was good to be busy.

It was rainy and cold. The guys and older kids searched the woods all around our place. They talked to the nearest neighbors. One neighbor offered his 4-wheeler (we declined, as it wouldn't be much good in the thick woods) and said that if we still hadn't found her he'd saddle his horses the next day (today) and help us search. We've only met this guy once (though is wife happened to be the Hospice nurse with my grandpa when he died). He's so nice! I love the sense of community here.

It was afternoon, my parents and sister and her kids had gone home. Vince stuck around and helped Bobby, who was nearing the point of dysfunction from stress and sleep debt. They drove off to talk to some more neighbors and saw our heifer in a field with some beef cattle almost two miles from here. (Remember the Sesame Street song, "One of these things just doesn't belong here, one of these things just isn't the same"?) They stopped the truck, called the call she was familiar with (I had asked when we bought her) and she came trotting up to the fence, with the Herefords following her. They pulled into the drive and Bobby hopped the fence and got her haltered. They ended up contacting the owner of the field, who explained how she showed up that morning. He stuck her in with his before he went to work (good neighbors will do this, instead of leaving the stock to wander). He said he'd help them get her after work. That gave us just enough time for a nap. =)

I have rarely seen a man so relieved as Bobby looked when he came home and announced that our moolly cow had been found. I was very, very glad, but I think I was the least surprised of the lot. When you're confident in what your heavenly Father can do, it pleases you but doesn't surprise you when he does it!

Bobby walked her home. It was still raining.

We tied her in the big stall in the barn (she makes our goat barn look kinda small). She wasn't too fond of that, but we felt better knowing she couldn't get away. She calmed down and got used to the barn noises (guineas will freak anyone out!) and I went out several times to ~~obsess over~~ check on her. She lets me love on her a little more each time I go out. This morning I got a chest measurement (not to fit her for a bra, but to estimate her weight - she is a little scrawny and I want to keep track of her gain) and she didn't mind me poking around.

We decided (unanimously) that her name should be Molly (as we already have a Royal Payne). This was derived from "moolly." I'd been calling her moolly cow since the moment we met, because of a poem in one of the kid's books.

The Good Moolly Cow

by Eliza Lee Follen (1787 - 1860)

Come! supper is ready
Come! boys and girls now,
For here is fresh milk
From the good moolly cow.

Have done with your fife
And your row de dow dow,
And taste this sweet milk
From the good moolly cow.

Whoever is fretting
Must clear up his brow,
Or he'll have no milk
From the good moolly cow.

And here is Miss Pussy;
She means by mee ow,
Give me too some milk
From the good moolly cow.

When the children are hungry
Oh who can tell how
They love the fresh milk
From the good moolly cow.

So when you meet moolly
Please say with a bow,
"Thank you for your milk,
Mrs. Good Moolly Cow."

(There's another about a mooly cow - with one L - from the same time period, called "The Cow-Boy's Song.)

I have always liked my goats (and they have their pros over cows), but when I started reading about keeping a family milk cow, and talking with people who have kept both goats and cows, I began to think a cow was definitely the critter for me (I'm talking about personality, but let's not leave out my fondness for butter). I especially thought so when I met a milk cow face to face. Mom (who has kept both) and I were comparing them one day to cats and dogs. My impression of a Jersey cow, and she confirmed this, was that she was like a really big dog. Goats seem to have that independent, "I could just as easily get along without you" nature that cats have. They have minds of their own and seem harder to get close to. Some people (cat people) like this about them and treasure their relationships with goats. I like my goats, like I said, but I think I'd like them a lot less if they didn't give milk! A cow (a Jersey, anyway) seems to me much more affectionate and personable. I understand they become one of the family and I can definitely see this happening here at Make-It-Do Farm. The fresh milk, butter, cream, yogurt, cheese, and yearly calf are side benefits.

(A side note about our farm name. We painted this on our 12 passenger van. One day while at the feed store, Bobby was waiting for me to come out and he overheard a boy of about 10 or 11 reading the van. It sounded like this. "Make... take away ... it... take away... do... farm." Are we the only ones who found this hilarious?)

We plan to continue keeping goats. The meat is fantastic, the milk is great for babies and they're a nice size for the children. When we start milking the cow we might sell our only horned goat, however. She came to us with horns and although she's a great goat in every other respect and our main producer, she does toss her head around and hurts the littler children. We've disbudded all our kids so our other two does are horn-free and the children love them.

Enough about our cow adventures...
For now.

Is Yahshua Actually Yahweh in the Flesh?

2010-03-08T09:09:00.004-06:00

There is soooo much here, folks. More than we could possibly share in one, or even a dozen, blog entries. With your bible, your concordance, and a sincere desire to know the truth, you can learn as much as you want on this topic - please don't limit yourself to our writings! Our purpose in sharing this is two-fold. One, we just want to whet your appetite. Two, we are so excited!

Because there is so much to cover, we thought we'd start by sharing portions of a letter we wrote to a friend. We had sent our friend a letter covering basically what I covered in my "Being Berean - The Trinity" post, as well as a list of 100 scriptures that prove Yahshua isn't Yahweh in the flesh (you can find the list here - note, we do not affiliate with the folks who put this site together - in fact, we don't know much about them at all - just happened across this page). Below you'll find the questions our friend responded with, as well as our answers (and whatever we have to add to make it clear for our blog readers). Enjoy!
-----------------------------------------

Sorry if we weren't entirely clear last time. It's taken us some time ourselves to weed through the details of various doctrines (a label comes with certain assumptions that may not be accurate) and get to the bottom of the issue. For instance, are divinity and deity the same thing? What is sovereignty? What is meant by oneness? Can someone be 100% man and 100% elohim?

We have come to believe that Yahshua is not Yahweh in the flesh. (That right there would have us stoned in many Constantinian churches!) We do believe Yahshua is the savior and messiah that Yahweh provided for us. We do believe he is from Yahweh and therefore divine. We do not believe he IS Yahweh and therefore is not deity, as Yahweh alone holds that title. We believe Yahshua is 100% man and therefore cannot be any percent deity. More on that later. We also believe he is sovereign, as his kingship was given to him by the Father.

Now you have even more questions. But let's get to your letter...

Savior

Should our redemption then be found in man whose breath is in his nostrils (Is 2.22) rather than our salvation being in Yahweh, maker of heaven and earth?

You mentioned these:

Isa 45:17 Israel has been saved by YHWH with an everlasting salvation; You will not be put to shame or humiliated To all eternity.

Isa 45:22 "Turn to Me, and be saved, all the ends of the earth; For I am Elohim, and there is no other.

There are also these, and probably more:

Isa 43:11 "I, even I, am YHWH; And there is no savior besides Me.

Hos 13:4 Yet I have been YHWH your Elohim Since the land of Egypt; And you were not to know any elohim except Me, For there is no savior besides Me.

And when we consider passages that show Messiah to be our savior, it seems reasonable that they (Yahweh and Yahshua) must be one and the same entity, since we cannot have two elohim. However, we found that neither of them hold exclusively the title of savior in scripture. Consider:

2Ki 13:5 And YHWH gave Israel a savior, so that they went out from under the hand of the Syrians: and the children of Israel dwelt in their tents, as beforetime.

Neh 9:27 Therefore thou deliveredst them into the hand of their enemies, who vexed them: and in the time of their trouble, when they cried unto thee, thou heardest them from heaven; and according to thy manifold mercies thou gavest them saviours, who saved them out of the hand of their enemies.

Oba 1:21 And saviours shall come up on mount Zion to judge the mount of Esau; and the kingdom shall be Yahweh’s.

None of these refer to Yahshua or Yahweh as savior, as far as we can see, and some of these are even pluralized. Sometimes the sending of saviors is seen as occurring in the past (for instance in the verse from Nehemiah), thus providing further evidence that the saviors being referred to were NOT the Messiah prophesied elsewhere as a future event.

So we know that Yahweh is our savior, the question then is how does he save? Apparently it’s not unusual for him to raise men up to do the job. The Hebrew word used in all these references is "yasha" (H3467). Yahshua is the promised savior of Israel in the NT - Acts 5:31, 13:23. We don't see a conflict here, nor do we see that they have to be the same entity.

From Eternity

But as for you Bethlehem Ephrathah, too little to be among the clans of Judah, from you One will go forth for Me to be ruler in Israel. His goings forth are from long ago, from the days of eternity." Micah 5:2

This very verse says that from Judah one will go forth for Yahweh to be ruler. In his "goings forth" from long ago, we found that the Strong's word used there can also mean "family descent," which to us seems to fit better with the whole of scripture. Thus, the verse would read, "His family descent is from long ago, from the days of eternity." Luke 3 shows us that Messiah's lineage does indeed go back to Yahweh (specifically vs 38), including Judah.

Was Yahshua from eternity or 100% man through Joseph and Mary.

Um.... Yes. =)

Hebrews 7 seems to say Yahshua was Melchizadek.

We don't know a lot about Melchizadek. We've heard that he was one and the same as Yahshua, but we're learning to question everything we've heard! We do note in Hebrews 7 that he was made like the son of Elohim. Also, vs. 11 says there was another priest of the order of Melchizedek. That, along with the fact that Yahshua does have a genealogy, parents, beginning of days and end of life, makes us think they can be nothing but separate beings. Anyway, there seems to be a lot in the (endless!) genealogies that we have yet to unpack, but if we start with examining the virgin birth, it does narrow down the options.

The virgin will be with child...

Isa 7:14 "Therefore the Lord Himself will give you a sign: Behold, a virgin will be with child and bear a son, and she will call His name Immanuel.

The fact that millions of women have become pregnant and have given birth by means of their husbands is not an amazing sign but rather the way of reproducing mankind. For it to be a sign of any significance it seems to need to be out of the ordinary.

(From Bobby's notes)

We've read that the earliest accounts of Matthew and Luke said nothing of the virgin birth. Here is why I believe that to be true: First of all Matthew supposedly quotes Isaiah 7:14 as a messianic prophecy. You've already recognized that the word "virgin" could mean maiden:

almah (H5959) possible to be virgin, but usually maiden or young woman.

betulah (H1330) impossible to be anything but virgin

Yet, the issue of the Hebrew word almah is unimportant compared to the context of Isaiah 7:14, for it is firmly and irrefutably placed in Isaiah and it doesn't seem possible it could be legitimately used anywhere as a messianic prophecy.

The facts seen from the context of Isaiah 7:1 - 8:8:

1. Isaiah is speaking to Ahaz, king of Judah and tells him that the sign of the virgin birth will be for him, Ahaz. This fact alone makes the application of Is. 7:14 to the birth of Messiah impossible since Ahaz had been dead some 700 years before Yahshua was born. Yahshua's birth would not have made a very good sign for a dead guy.

2. The entire context refers to the specific issue of the prophecy regarding what would happen to those who were plotting against Judah, of whom Ahaz was king.

3. Only a few verses later, in 8:3, we see the birth that was prophesied, that being the birth of Isaiah's son with his second wife. So, if 7:14 were at the least a near/far prophecy then Mary would not have been the only virgin to give birth. If we apply virgin in the "betula" sense to Mary, we must do the same for Isaiah's wife (was his child Yahweh in the flesh, too?).

4. Isaiah 7:16 and 8:4 are almost identical, proving them to reference the same event, that Yahweh would eliminate the threat posed to Ahaz by Ephraim and Damascus.

5. It seems the only way Isaiah 7:14 can be used as a Messianic prophecy is to completely rip it from it's context.

6. Yahweh calls either Isaiah or Ahaz "Immanuel" in 8:8.

Incidentally, the idea of a virgin birth is not strictly a Christian concept. Consider these virgin births from history: Buddha, born of virgin Maya; Horus, born of virgin Isis; Attis, born of virgin Nama; Adonis, born of virgin Myrrha; Krishna, born of virgin Devak; Quirrnus, Indra, Mithra, Zoroaster, all the pharaohs, all Greek emperors, even Alexander the Great were all supposedly born of virgins, probably more. Another popular theme in pagan religions is elohim procreating with mankind. In Gen 6 the sons of elohim lusting after the daughters of men was not a good thing. It was part of the reason Yahweh destroyed the world by flood. Now it seems Christianity claims that Yahweh did a similar thing with Mary.

(On a side note, we're finding there's a pretty even split among those Messianics who don't believe Yahshua is Yahweh in the flesh; some do still claim the validity of the virgin birth. Admittedly, it's hard for some to believe that scripture could have been so twisted.)

With this in mind, is it any wonder that this most important doctrine is included with the rest of the Greek paganism that entered the church? We're finding that many scriptures that would be better translated one way are instead translated with a Trinitarian slant. Yet aside from a handful of these sorts of scriptures (like Micah 5:2) and this apparently false prophecy in Matthew and Luke, the idea of Yahweh himself coming in the flesh is strangely absent from the whole of scripture. Really! Think on it.

You know that sometimes what is not said is as important as what is said. Fishy virgin birth aside, we only have come across one other mention in scripture of an elohim coming in the flesh and it ain't purdy, ma friend.

Act 14:11 And when the multitudes saw what Paul had done, they raised their voice, saying in the Lycaonian language, "The elohim have become like men and have come down to us."

Act 14:12 And they began calling Barnabas, Zeus, and Paul, Hermes, because he was the chief speaker.

Act 14:13 And the priest of Zeus, whose temple was just outside the city, brought oxen and garlands to the gates, and wanted to offer sacrifice with the crowds.

Act 14:14 But when the apostles, Barnabas and Paul, heard of it, they tore their robes and rushed out into the crowd, crying out

Act 14:15 and saying, "Men, why are you doing these things? We are also men of the same nature as you, and preach the gospel to you in order that you should turn from these vain things to a living elohim, WHO MADE THE HEAVEN AND THE EARTH AND THE SEA, AND ALL THAT IS IN THEM.

Now, maybe they were just upset that they were the ones being worshipped, but wouldn't this have been a good time for them to explain that Yahshua was the elohim in the flesh to whom they owed homage, if such a thing were true?
I know it's hard to comprehend this Yahshua-as-just-a-man thing at first because it seems that we must accept the Yahweh-in-flesh doctrine to accept Yahshua as Messiah, but after a bit of studying and reexamining of what we "thought" we knew, everything (so far) has fallen into place and it really makes clear a lot of things that had been unclear to us in the past, things a lot of people struggle with in trying to make sense of the Trinity. It's also a touchy topic because Yahweh and Yahshua's very characters are being questioned either way and that's a hard place to be for anyone who loves them.

And he shall be called....

When Isaiah 9:6 says that Yahshua's name will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty Elohim, Eternal Father, etc., we don't feel it's saying that Yahshua is the eternal Father, but that he has the characteristics of Yahweh. The word "name" in scripture seems to imply the character rather than merely a form of address. In Lazarus 17:11-12 Yahshua, when praying to the father (explain that?), twice refers to "your name, the name which you have given me."

Incidentally, this passage includes the oneness theme that we find elsewhere in scripture, but does oneness mean that Yahshua IS Yahweh? He prays that we (his sheep) would be one the same way he and the Father are one. This gives us an idea of what kind of oneness we're talking about - if we can be one the same way Yahshua and the Father are one, then I don't think it means they're the same person, rather that they have the same character.

The Image of Elohim, Creator Yahshua?

(From Bobby's notes)

Eikon (image)1504

Col 1:15 And He is the image of the invisible Elohim, the first-born of all creation.

Col 1:16 For by Him all things were created, both in the heavens and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or rulers or authorities--all things have been created by Him and for Him.

Col 1:17 And He is before all things, and in Him all things hold together.

a likeness, a statue, profile, representation, resemblance, pattern, portrait, image as in reflection, or image as in the mind, similitude. note: none of these are equal to the genuine article.

prototokos (firstborn)4416
first born, birthright, inheritance rights of the firstborn, first begotten, rights of the firstborn.

If Paul was trying to say that Yahshua is YHWH, why did he not just say so? Did he not shoot himself in the foot if he meant to have people believe that Yahshua is YHWH by using the word

Eikon in this verse? Are we not the image of YHWH?

1Co 11:7 For a man indeed ought not to cover his head, forasmuch as he is the image (eikon) and glory of YHWH: but the woman is the glory of the man.

Does that mean that I'm YHWH? Same word used! Of course it doesn't mean I'm YHWH. The same understanding we come to in 1 Cor. is what he intends us to come to in Col 1:15

First born

Exo 4:22 And thou shalt say unto Pharaoh, Thus saith YHWH, Israel is my son, even my firstborn:

Psa 89:27 Also I will make him my firstborn, higher than the kings of the earth.

Jer 31:9 They shall come with weeping, and with supplications will I lead them: I will cause them to walk by the rivers of waters in a straight way, wherein they shall not stumble: for I am a father to Israel, and Ephraim is my firstborn.

Rom 8:29 For whom he did foreknow, he also did predestinate to be conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brethren.

Rev 1:5 And from the messiah Yahshua, who is the faithful witness, and the first begotten of the dead, and the prince of the kings of the earth. Unto him that loved us, and washed us from our sins in his own blood.

If we look at the context, don't we see many first born spoken of in the bible? Now, is Paul speaking of a preexistence or is he referring to the fact that Yahshua, having been raised from the dead by YHWH (Yahshua's Elohim), is the firstborn of the dead? Yahshua was the first to be raised from the dead into eternal life, therefore giving all that follow his footsteps of faith and obedience hope that they will follow him into a resurrection of eternal life.

Col.1:16

here we have to look at a few words again

En 1722
in, at, on, by, about, after, against, almost, altogether, among, as, before, between, by all means, for the sake of, because of, through, when, where

Dia 1223
dee-ah'
through, with, for, the ground or reason that something is or is not done, by reason of, on account of, for the sake of, for this cause, because, because of, etc note: this often refers to the reason for something

So, in essence we have:

Col 1:16 For the sake of him were all things created, that are in heaven, and that are in earth, visible and invisible, whether they be thrones, or dominions, or principalities, or powers: all things were created on account of him, and for him:

We see a similar Trinitarian "translator's choice" in Hebrews.

Heb 1:2 in these last days has spoken to us in His Son, whom He appointed heir of all things, through (dia - "for, because of,") whom also He made the world.

Heb 1:3 And He is the radiance of His glory and the exact representation of His nature, and upholds all things by the word of His power. When He had made purification of sins, He sat down at the right hand of the Majesty on high;

Heb 1:4 having become as much better than the angels, as He has inherited a more excellent name than they.

Heb 1:5 For to which of the angels did He ever say, "THOU ART MY SON, TODAY I HAVE BEGOTTEN THEE"? And again, "I WILL BE A FATHER TO HIM AND HE SHALL BE A SON TO ME"?

The whole of this passage (and much besides) of Hebrews supports a man-Yahshua. "Exact representation of his (YHWH's) nature," words such as "inherited, son, begotten, father," Yahshua sitting at Yahweh's right hand. And subtle but important phrases such as, "having become as much better than the angels." Wasn't Yahweh already better than the angels? (Similar to the idea of Yahshua learning obedience and being made perfect, Heb 5:8-9) Scripture is FULL of these things!

Equality with Elohim...

(again from B's notes)

Php 2:5 Have this attitude in yourselves which was also in Messiah Yahshua,

Php 2:6 who, although He existed in the form of elohim, did not regard equality with Elohim a thing to be grasped,

Php 2:7 but emptied Himself, taking the form of a bond-servant, and being made in the likeness of men.

Php 2:8 And being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross.

Form? Isn't that the same theme as an image? Let's see shall we?

Morphe H3444
Shape, nature, form, character, outward appearance

Couldn't Paul just as easily be saying here that even though Yahshua appeared as elohim (which is used for kings, judges and yup, you guessed it, even satan) he did not take advantage of the situation (being a king from the line of David he could have claimed a throne) instead he humbled himself and became like an obedient servant (like an average every day Joe Shmoe) instead of Elohim (king), so obedient that he died in his obedience to YHWH's command? Couldn't he have profited by claiming his kingship here on earth? Isn't that humbling yourself, having that much influence yet not using it to your advantage? Don't verses 9-10 show that Paul did not think that Yahshua was YHWH by differentiating the two?

And the Word was Elohim...

Joh 1:1 In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with Elohim, and the Word was Elohim.

Joh 1:2 The same was in the beginning with Elohim.

Joh 1:14 And the Word became flesh, and dwelt among us, and we beheld His glory, glory as of the only begotten from the Father, full of grace and truth.

(B's notes again)

key elements to see here is that what is translated as "word" is - logos 3056

1) something said 2) a topic 3) a reasoning 4) motive 5) computation 6) devine expression 7) treatise 8) utterance 9) word 10)work

Let's read that again shall we?

In the beginning was the plan (motive), and the plan (motive) was with Elohim, and the plan (motive) was Elohim.

We can only know Yahweh or his plan by reading his Torah (divine expression). Therefore his plan (motive) is the very manifestation of himself. Yahshua, as the perfect servant, revealed the character more than any other man, however, everything he did and preached was accomplished within the sphere of YHWH's divine plan (logos) (just as we are to do!). The rendering of logos to "word" in John 1:1 is not as logical unless one is already predisposed to believe in the Trinitarian view, and intentionally biases the translation to support a mysterious inner meaning. Greek writer Heraclitus first used the term logos around 600 bc to designate "the divine reason or plan which coordinates a changing universe" So here we have a historic proper understanding of the term logos as divine thought, plan, or motive. This rendering is logical (it makes sense) and removes the cloud (albeit man-made) of mysticism from YHWH.

Also are we to believe in the preexistence of Yahshua?

Rom 4:17 (As it is written, I have made thee a father of many nations,) before him whom he believed, even YHWH, who quickeneth the dead, and calleth those things which be not as though they were.

1Pe 1:19 But with the precious blood of Christ, as of a lamb without blemish and without spot: 1:20 Who verily was foreordained before the foundation of the world, but was manifest in these last times for you, 1:21 Who by him do believe in YHWH, that raised Yahshua up from the dead, and gave him glory; that your faith and hope might be in YHWH.

Rev 13:8 And all that dwell upon the earth shall worship him, whose names are not written in the book of life of the Lamb slain from the foundation of the world.

So, from revelation 13:8 are we to believe that Yahshua was slain before the foundation of the world physically? I don't get that from these. I see that YHWH had a plan (motive) and that plan (motive) was with YHWH in the beginning, before the foundation of the world.

* * * * *

That about covers the scriptures you presented in your letter (and then some, eh?) and we're sure (we hope!) that you'll have more questions.

Bobby has another question for ya: Can Yahweh be tempted to worship Satan?

We've considered many aspects of these doctrines. Besides the ones we've touched on in this letter we've also looked into the significance of "I AM," worship of Yahshua, the immortality of Yahweh, the temptation of Yahshua, as well as why the modern church believes what it does and why they won't let go of their traditions (not unlike the Torah issue). We're very excited by what we're learning. It's so neat to watch the pieces of the puzzle snap into place!

I think one of the scariest things about studying this belief for me (K) is not wanting to let go of who I always thought Yahshua was. I had to pray fervently that Yahweh would forgive me my mistakes and any lies I'd inherited, while helping me to know and understand him better. It’s sobering indeed to realize that you might have been worshiping a man as deity or that you might swing too far and not give Yahshua his due credit and respect.
-----------------------------------------------------------------
I hope and pray this has benefited my blog readers in some way!

Jesus made a new commandment?

2010-03-07T17:05:00.000-06:00

The following was posted over at Standing At The Crossroads, a blog I like to read from time to time. Gail shares some interesting things.
----------------------------------------
Has anyone else puzzled over this passage?

John 13: 34"A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. 35By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another."

After all , we know Torah says do not add to or take away from the commandments of YHVH. And Deut. 13 tells us not to listen to a false prophet. So what's up?

For me, the answer came when I looked up the Greek word in that John passage for "new". Then it began to make sense. The word for "new" in that passage is *kainos* #2537 : new (especially in freshness). It's the same word as in 1 Cor. 11:25 "new" covenant.

It has the meaning of RE-newed, like the moon renews itself every month. To denote respect to age (brand new), there is another Greek word, *neos*, #3501, which is not used in either of those places.

So if it's a renewed command, that implies that there was an original command, right?

Leviticus 19:17 " 'Do not hate your brother in your heart. Rebuke your neighbor frankly so you will not share in his guilt.

18 " 'Do not seek revenge or bear a grudge against one of your people, but love your neighbor as yourself. I am the LORD.

***************

As the Living Torah, Yahshua is re-affirming and bringing even more understanding to the written Torah! He is defining how this love will look - it will look like how He loved us! And He is making it a criteria for discipleship to Him. And that provides great harmony between the Torah and the gospel of John!

I hope this blesses you as much as it blessed me!

Gail
-------------------------------------------
Well put, Gail! Thanks!

Being Berean - The Trinity

2010-03-06T10:28:00.000-06:00

Acts 17:10-12 And the brethren immediately sent Paul and Silas away by night to Berea; and when they arrived, they went into the synagogue of the Jews. Now these were more noble-minded than those in Thessalonica, for they received the word with great eagerness, examining the Scriptures daily, to see whether these things were so. Many of them therefore believed, along with a number of prominent Greek women and men.

I think we should be as the noble-minded Bereans, examining the Scriptures (what we call the "old testament") daily to see if what we find in the "new testament" (both in our Bible and in the world today) lines up. Without this benchmark we can be and are swayed by every wind of doctrine. Without this, we have every man doing what is right in his own eyes (and, more often than not, sadly, claiming he was "led by the spirit").

As Bobby and I have studied we've are constantly challenged to question what we believe and why, no matter the cost. Most recently (over the last several months) we have examined scripture to try to understand Christianity's #1 doctrine: the Trinity. More to the point, the teaching that Yahshua is Yahweh come in the flesh. (Years ago we studied the Holy Spirit and came to the conclusion that it is not an individual person, merely Yahweh's spirit. It's not my intention to "go there" in this entry.) This doctrine is apparently so significant that most theologians say if you don't believe in the deity of Yahshua, you cannot call yourself a Christian. Interesting. (Notice the lack of “Christian” in my labels in the “about me” section?)

I always thought Christmas was a prime example of how Christianity has forsaken Yahweh’s word and clung to it’s pagan roots. Later, when we studied what is possibly Christianity’s second most popular doctrine, that good boys and girls go to heaven and bad ones burn in hell for eternity, we were sure we’d struck on an even greater example (sorry to burst your bubble – you won’t find this teaching in the Bible – try looking elsewhere, like Greece). We were also quick to consider Christianity’s forsaking Yahweh’s law (Torah), including his Holy Sabbath.

So, no sooner had we become “Christian” then we found ourselves unable to really fit into any local body of believers we met. Not to say we didn’t learn and grow with others in the areas of love, compassion, patience, etc, learning about marriage and parenting and other good things. Just that everywhere we went we asked enough questions (some out of a sincere desire to know the truth, some to challenge others to seek the same) to make others uncomfortable. We believe Yahweh has led us the whole way and that everywhere we’ve fellowshipped has been perfect for the season Yahweh intended.

Even after walking this wacky road ten years, we were taken aback by the absurdity of the Trinity doctrine, little prepared for the pagan origins of the church’s favorite teaching. I can’t say we had ever really believed it, because we hadn’t ever fully looked into it. I can say that hearing the “Bible Answer Man” on the radio (or any other theologian) trying to explain the Trinity to some poor caller definitely bothered me. No matter the topic (spiritual or otherwise), I’ve never been comfortable with someone trying to pass as common sense something that made no sense at all. Now, I think I know enough to know that there are things I don’t know and so try to give people the benefit of the doubt. If I’m not knowledgeable about something and you seem to be, I might ask questions but I don’t take a decided stance. “That doesn’t sound logical to me, but I guess you know what you’re talking about….” and then, if I’m really curious (or challenged), I’ll look into it myself.

When a loved one told me, early last year, that she no longer believed in the deity of Messiah, I was both curious and challenged. Better yet, so was Bobby. I have to give him credit for doing the digging on this one. He has spent many waking hours (many of those when he should have been sleeping!) studying, sorting out the different claims to truth, always comparing with scripture. He has faced many challenges (you can’t open your mouth on this subject and not be challenged) that have spurned him to dig deeper.

The greatest thing about seeking truth is that Yahweh wants us to find it! He wants us to know and understand him (Jer 9:24). Truth is simple and should make a confusing mess of puzzle pieces come together into a clear portion of Yahweh’s great masterpiece – his plan for mankind. Truth should never be hard to grasp, tricky to piece together. Truth clicks. Truth makes you go, “Ooohhh! I get it! How incredible!” However, truth sometimes means throwing out pieces that don’t fit, pieces that might belong to a totally different puzzle, and that is too painful for some.

More details coming soon…

Life...

2010-02-24T11:59:00.000-06:00

Life is not about waiting for the storms to pass. It's about learning to dance in the rain.

Read that in an email this week and it really hit the spot.

One tickled chickie

2010-02-17T10:05:00.000-06:00

The story I posted here was published in the latest edition of Countryside & Small Stock Journal- March/April 2010. I'm quite tickled.

What especially blesses me is that it has already blessed someone else! I hadn't even received the latest issue yet but had a message the other day on Facebook from a gal my age who had read it and wondered if I was the same KW from MO with six kids as the one who wrote the piece. She and her family are planning to move to southern MO. Anyway... ya just never know how Yahweh will use you.

Yahweh is his name

2010-02-08T10:34:00.000-06:00

First, let me make it clear that I do not believe you have to use the Hebrew names in order to receive salvation. How can I? Yahweh drew me unto himself years before I even knew he had a name. However, I encourage you to learn his name and use it. It has really, really blessed me to do so.

In the first pages of my bible, and most bibles, even before "In the beginning," you'll find an explanation of the various names used for Yahweh in the scriptures. I had no idea this was there until recently (my 8yr old showed me). It explains that "God" is a translation of the Hebrew word "elohim," and is used for any deity (closer study will reveal that it's also used as “magistrate” or "judge" as in 1 Sam 2:25) and that the word used for "master" is often "Lord,” with little letters, “a rendering of Adonai.”

My bible says, "There is yet another name which is particularly assigned to God as His special or proper name, that is, the four letters YHWH. This name has not been pronounced by the Jews because of reverence for the great sacredness of the divine name. Therefore it was consistently pronounced and translated LORD. ... It is known that for many years YHWH has been transliterated as Yahweh, however no complete certainty attaches to this pronunciation."

Two things to note here. One is that this is the name particularly assigned to the supreme elohim of scripture. It’s his proper name. There is no other elohim known by that name. His name is a sure way to tell him apart from other deities. A friend of ours from India (sorry, not Zac Poonen) said that in that country there are so many elohim recognized that using the name Yahweh made a significant difference. If you used the generic word for “god” you might be speaking of a doorknob or a cat.

The other thing to note, and I really think it’s time the record was set straight, is that although using the name Yahweh nowadays gets you labeled as a Messianic Jew (which I’m certainly not), replacing his name with LORD (Adonai) is a Jewish tradition. There is no commandment in scripture not to use his name. Quite the contrary, he goes to great lengths to make his name known!

Is he my lord? Most assuredly! Is he my elohim or god? Certainly! But who is he? He is Yahweh.

Personally, I use the term master and lord interchangeably. I don’t like to use the term “god” to deonote deity and certainly not in place of my father’s name. Instead, I use elohim. I won’t make a big fuss of it, but it’s worth noting that the name Gad in scripture is that of a pagan deity and pronounced “gawd” (look at the birth of Jacob’s son in Gen, also Is 65:11) Not funny that our elohim’s most commonly used name is the same as that of a pagan elohim and yet his proper name is disguised in scripture as the title, “the LORD.”

Now that I’ve been using the name Yahweh for awhile, I find the name “god” so impersonal! It’d be like calling Bobby “husband” all the time. He is my husband, and I do call him that sometimes, among other endearing titles, but it’s not his name. Most importantly, if I were talking to someone else and referred to him as “chowderhead,” they’d have no idea who I was talking about! No mistakes are made when I refer to my elohim as Yahweh, though I do get some dirty looks.

My scripture reading has taken on a new depth now that I know about the translations. I haven’t yet got one of those fancy “names” bibles, ‘cause they’re expensive and I’m pretty attached to my NASB, but even my children have taken quickly to translating when reading aloud. It sure makes passages like Exo 15:3 more clear. "The LORD is a warrior; The LORD is His name.” What? No it’s not! Try this, “Yahweh is a warrior; Yahweh is His name.” Next time you’re reading scripture trying putting his name in where you see the words “the LORD” and see what you think. Better yet, if you have a few minutes, do a quick concordance search in your bible program (you do have one, don’t you? If not, you can download esword for free) for, “the LORD is his name,” and consider the places and ways his name is used.

(Incidentally, we believe that taking his name in vain isn't so much about speaking his name, but more like the way a woman take's her husband's name when she marries him. Just as with marriage, don't do this in vain!)

Late Winter Update

2010-02-07T10:41:00.001-06:00

2/6/10

Shabbat Shalom, dear readers!

It's still winter here at Make-It-Do Farm. Got our third snowfall last night, before the former had even melted. The trees are gorgeous this morning! This snow is wetter than the last and although only an inch or two accumulated on the ground, it really stuck to everything; every little limb, leaf and pine needle, set behind with a perfectly grey sky. Stunning. I'm ready for spring now.

Okay, I say that, but I'm not, actually. I need this winter to prepare my body for the work coming my way this growing season. The tiny garden at my window sill needs a place outside soon. When I think that in a few short weeks it'll be time to work the ground, I just sigh and pray for healing. My back is still a wreck. A little better as I've learned what I absolutely can't do and what I can and when, as well as regularly stretching and strengthening the other muscles that are supposed to be helping my back carry it's load (amazing what bearing children will do to your body - a sacrifice I don't for a moment regret)... but I'm still pretty limited and the littlest wrong movement often has me flat out for a few days. It's been a trying season, to say the least.

I look forward to spring in spite of that. I used to be the biggest fan of autumn, but I've converted to spring loving, if for nothing else but it's unrelenting, irresistible, ineffable hope. Winter can cast a shadow upon the most cheerful, resolved heart. Yet the most miserable person must be very committed to their position to resist the allures of spring. Sorry if that's not spiritual enough for some of you. It may show a decided lack of faith to be so moved by seasons, by circumstances. I've wondered if I have the faith for winter, both physically and spiritually speaking. I think I do. My faith always speaks to me, in the dead of the most miserable, grey winter, that spring is right around the bend and that I'll be there to meet it. With bells on. And maybe a back brace.

* * * * * *

Around the homestead...

Two of our three goats are swelling nicely with kid (the third being too young to breed). They're due in mid April and so this week I'm drying Dessy up to give her a break. Funny, last year I dried her up in late fall because I wanted the break. This year I'm loathe to give up the milk. We have decided we just cannot drink that poison that passes for milk at the super market and so have literally milked every drop from our goat. I've called around and have found raw cow milk at $6 to $9 a gallon. Yikes. I found goat milk on the other side of town for $6.50 a gallon and am due to pick up a couple gallons this 1st day. It's all the lady can spare right now since her kids are getting most of it. She also has cows due to freshen in April and sells a lot of milk, usually. I don't know if it's "organic," but at least it's raw and nearby. My own milk and eggs aren't organic yet, but I'm working on it.

This same lady has a nice little Jersey heifer for sale. I'm sorely tempted to buy it. I've decided I definitely want to get cow and Bobby has given me the go-ahead, but after much consideration, I don't think we're ready. We just don't have the place to keep her, her hay, or her manure. I know I'll hit it off with a cow, but we'll still keep a goat or two.

So, this year we hope to invest in fencing and outbuildings. The chicken coop will be doubled in size as I plan to pick up a couple dozen chickens in March and sell eggs later this year. The barn will have some additions for hay storage and animal shelter. I'm reading everything I can about crop rotation, improving pasture, and herbs for healthy critters. We're planning a small shed for storing tools and the odds and ends that collect around our place. When we moved in three years ago the only outbuilding was the well house. Buildings are expensive. We've added a small coop and barn, but they don't have much room for anything not critter related. I tell ya, if there were outbuildings on your property when you moved in, be grateful!

So, about half of our tax return is going toward bills - catching up and savings - and most of the rest toward home maintenance and improvements, including a new water heater and vehicle repairs. Also, we're having our dogs "broken" (that is, spayed and neutered - can't really used the word "fixed"), which is no small chunk of change with our big dogs. Remodeling the attic to a bedroom takes back burner again as we tackle the outside needs. Six kids in one room is working fine, so why rush? Besides, until we have outside storage, we need the "spare oom" for our junk. We had hoped to put down a significant portion toward our debt, but as it turns out, very little will be able to go that direction.

Bobby’s been working away from home a very little bit and every time I’m tempted to get cranky about his rate of pay or the frequency of said pay, I repent and praise Yahweh that he has any work at all. Also, that he has so much time at home.

We had some pretty nice weather mid to late January (some days in the 60’s) and when he’s home I’m sometimes able to talk him into helping me clean up outside. The place really is a wreck with all the trees down in various stages of firewood - untouched, branches cut off but trunk not bucked up, bucked but not split, split but not stacked, branches piled but not burned. You know that cranky feeling you get when your house is cluttered and how peaceful it is to have it clean again? Well, there’s not an area of our property (right around the house, anyway) that has that nice, uncluttered feel.

Bobby tends spread his work around; a little here by the house and a little there in the orchard, and I think he gets overwhelmed with all there is to do, so we’re helping each other by dividing the property and working on just one area at a time. We’re almost done with the goat "pasture" (about 1/4 of an acre or less - more of a glorified pen). We burned an old couch and it was just what we needed to get the wet brush to burn. My hat's off to my husband; I didn't think we'd get them burned off until late spring!

I played around with our garden plans for quite some time, trying to fit in all the varieties I want in the quantities I want. Ha, ha. It's a good thing I don't have the land for it, I'd bite off way more than I could chew. We're not enlarging this year, and although I always say I'm going to grow more of the basics and less of the froo-froo stuff, I always end up with an area planting in trial veggies.

It's awful nice to be gardening in January. Just after the first of the year I seeded some leeks and onions in flats. Soon after that, some lettuce, then cabbages and peppers. Next week I'll sow the rest of what I plan to start indoors - tomatoes, flowers and herbs. (I've got the fall garden all planned out, too, so this year I'll have no excuse.) I'm in a bit of a pickle for where to put everything, though, and how to keep it warm enough, with enough light. Everything might have to wait for the tax return so I can get some plastic and lights and shelves, like I did two years ago. We have some of the things we need to build a greenhouse, but won't be able to get to it until spring, if then. I'm just going to start my seeds and work fast on getting space ready.

It's been a good season for study. Contrary to popular belief, the Encyclopedia of Country Living is not the only book I study. =) Bobby and I have been up to our ears in scripture and are continually thrilled at where our Father takes us when we seek to know him better and are willing to explore his word. There's enough there for several more blog entries and I do hope to write some soon on what we've been learning.

I also hope to upload some photos of the children in another entry. The pictures will do much more justice to them than my many loving words.

Until next time!

The internet is costing you more than you think

2010-01-12T08:27:00.005-06:00

Some of my readers expressed confusion regarding the following post. I was distracted and may not have given it a very good introduction, so let me try again.

Last summer someone shared this article with me and I was really impressed with the way it was written and the topic it covered. If you're like me, you've never even thought any in-depth thoughts about the internet. We get service, we email, we google, we blog, we research... it's pretty simple, right? Well, the author, Jane Anne Morris, takes you past the screen in front of you and begs you to consider the bigger picture. There is a lot of information on the internet! Just like on your computer, it's got to be stored somewhere. These somewheres are called server farms. And that's not just a cute name... they actually take up acres and acres of good farmland! Huge buildings packed with computer processers that use copious amounts of electricity (not just in themselves, but the buildings are air conditioned to keep the processors cool). Every time we send email, buy a book, search for photos, we're tapping into this system. The craziest thing about it is that we don't think about the internet's drain on the environment and our resources (not the least of which is this farmland that could be producing FOOD)... as the author says, "The Internet seems clean because its ecological footprint is elsewhere. "

A lot of folks are getting on the good food bandwagon now that they have an idea of where our food comes from. Keep thinking along those lines! Think about what you use on a daily basis, where it comes from and what it really costs you. I'm not saying you have to give it up (not there myself, yet), but just be an aware consumer.

Please go read the article! Here are a few snippets...

Where do you think all your stored emails are? They’re not in the hands of tiny file clerks inside your computer — exactly. Nor in the library computer, where you can access them. Where are all those Bible-length attachments that nobody read but you’re saving anyway? The hot web sites and blogs? Where do we imagine all this stuff is?

It’s in the Cloud — the everything-seemingly-everywhere there-ness of the Internet. The Internet Cloud is generated and maintained by facilities called data centers or web server farms. These rustic-sounding server farms (think of a geek with a hayfork?), like Concentrated Animal Feeding Operations (CAFOs), are tucked — if something that covers dozens or even hundreds of acres can be said to be “tucked” — here and there across the country, downplayed if not concealed in generic buildings.

-----------------------------------------------

Imagine a refrigerator wrapped around an electric stove, and you have the essence of a server farm: a pig-in-a-blanket that consumes electricity in almost unimaginable quantities.

------------------------------------------------

Google Corporation alone reputedly already uses over 20 server farms, housing some half a million servers........... Converted to residences, that’s about five million homes’ worth of electric capacity.

--------------------------------------------------

Server farms get cut-rate electricity: per-kilowatt-hour rates cited in recent articles range from 1.8 to 3.4¢. [13] You did read that right. If I divide my monthly electric bill by the number of kwh I use, it always comes to over 20¢ per kwh. But I don’t pay industrial rates, which average out nationally just over 5¢ per kwh, and I don’t get other special deals often offered to large users. [14]

--------------------------------------------------

The ecological footprint of a server farm isn’t any prettier than that of a power plant, a toxic waste dump, a gigantic feedlot, or a freeway. The Cloud is floating on a cradle-to-grave network of wrecked aquifers, oily cormorants, radioactive tumbleweed, and melting icecaps. According to one analyst, ordering a book online burns a half-pound of coal. [16] The Internet seems clean because its ecological footprint is elsewhere.

That's just scratching the surface of this excellent, eye-opening article. Read the whole thing here.

Breastmilk Cures Pink Eye

2010-01-10T17:01:00.001-06:00

Since I first heard of using breastmilk to cure conjunctivitis ("pink eye") a few years ago, I have had a few opportunities to try it out, on myself and my children. Prior to learning this, I used pure aloe vera juice, which worked but burned immensely (Bobby called them "torture drops") - the kids would let me treat them once with this, but not twice! Breast milk is pain free and I actually find it soothing to my irritated eye. I went to bed with dry, itchy eyes the other night and didn't think much about it until I awoke in worse condition. I expressed a little milk into a small dish and dropped it into each eye, blinking to spread it around. I did this about four times that day and by the following morning the irritation was almost gone. I repeated the treatment once in the morning and had no symptoms by lunchtime. Just wanted to share this easy, wonderful cure!

Here we go again...

2010-01-08T11:23:00.000-06:00

Going offline for awhile. I hope to still write and post entries from time to time, but will not be giving this nearly as much attention as I have in the past.

A Fowl Tale

2010-01-06T20:10:00.001-06:00

The sun had been down less than an hour, Farra was doing the barn chores. Bobby had just arrived home and I was preparing dinner when there was a knock upon our front door. When I opened said door a middle-aged man in a ball cap, stranger to me, asked if we had two white geese. I hesitated a moment until logic surfaced in mine brain and I surmised that he wasn't requesting of us two white geese (that would be strange indeed), rather was inquiring as to whether we claimed the ownership of two particular white geese, which, it was revealed upon my negative answer, were lounging in the road near our home.

Bobby joined us with a declaration that he had also seen the geese. In fact, nearly ran them over. We discussed whom they might belong to, came to no conclusions, the man left and we went about dinner preparations, wondering to each other if something should be done about these stray waterfowl. We were reminded of this passage in the Torah:

Deu 22:1 "You shall not see your countryman's ox or his sheep straying away, and pay no attention to them; you shall certainly bring them back to your countryman.

Deu 22:2 "And if your countryman is not near you, or if you do not know him, then you shall bring it home to your house, and it shall remain with you until your countryman looks for it; then you shall restore it to him.

Deu 22:3 "And thus you shall do with his donkey, and you shall do the same with his garment, and you shall do likewise with anything lost by your countryman, which he has lost and you have found. You are not allowed to neglect them.

So, should we collect the geese and keep them until the following day when we might find their owner? Being calmed by night's darkness, as most birds are, it wouldn't require much to gather them up and put them a stall in the barn where they would be safe until we found their owner. But... mightn't we be considered legalists if we adhere to the old testament law, the law of Moses? What will people say? Isn't this a burden too great to bear?

Sarcasm. Just one more service I offer.

We did as Yahweh instructed and saw the geese safely home this afternoon. It was our pleasure and our neighbor was very grateful.

I will add that before we were ever aware of this passage in Torah, it was in our hearts as believers to do this thing. We do believe that as gentiles grafted into the true vine and partakers with Israel, Yahweh has written his law in our hearts:

Jer 31:31 "Behold, days are coming," declares Yahweh, "when I will make a new covenant with the house of Israel and with the house of Judah,

Jer 31:32 not like the covenant which I made with their fathers in the day I took them by the hand to bring them out of the land of Egypt, My covenant which they broke, although I was a husband to them," declares Yahweh.

Jer 31:33 "But this is the covenant which I will make with the house of Israel after those days," declares Yahweh, "I will put My law within them, and on their heart I will write it; and I will be their Elohim, and they shall be My people.

Does this mean we automatically know what's right and wrong? Preprogrammed, so to speak? I find that hard to believe. I think, though, that we learn as we grow closer to him. If we truly seek him he shows us the way to love him and to love our neighbors, for on these two commandments hang the law and prophets (Matt 22). Every law or instruction given is for our good, that it may be well with us! The whole of Torah is summed up in those two commandments because the whole of Torah teaches how to love Yahweh and how to love our neighbor.

Also, notice that this new covenant is with Israel and Judah. Yes, the new covenant, embraced by those gentiles who proclaim the old covenant to be for Israel and Judah only, was also to be with Israel and Judah only. Praise Yahweh that he has always wanted to include gentiles, as long as they would join themselves to him and keep his commandments! (A short study on how Yahweh regarded "strangers" and "aliens" will reveal much. I highly recommend it.)

Winter update

2010-01-05T11:06:00.004-06:00

1/4/10
Little Brook is ignorant of her birthday today, as expected of a 1yr old, she but sure enjoyed everyone making a fuss of her. MeMom & BeBop made a special trip out and brought her some stylin’ new duds, which she was willing to model for them.

BeBop couldn’t resist when this thrift store teddy bear whispered to him the other day, “Purchase me for your Little Brook…”

It’s a wonder to wake up in the morning to see the sun shining in the window and remember what a delightful sight it was one year ago when it rose to shine through the same window on your newborn baby, family and friends. Happy, blessed memories.
(For those wondering, I’m not pregnant. I know, I know, I usually am around the youngest’s first birthday. Talk to Father about it! It’s entirely in his hands!)
My big Little Brook went from crawling to walking overnight (a week or two ago). It’s so exciting and new for everyone that I really wonder if any of my other children ever learned to walk! She has moved from Momma & Daddy’s room upstairs to sleep (still in her crib) with the big kids. Six kids in one room. Sheesh. It’s nice to sleep through the night again. And it’s nice to have the space in my bedroom. I celebrated yesterday by rearranging a bit. I killed two birds with one stone, if you will, by moving several of my hanging plants from the living room into my bedroom (it’s so cozy in there, now) to make room in front of our sliding door and windows to set up my seed trays. Gotta get those onions and leeks started next week. (My farmer’s almanac says today is also the official start of the gardening season. Hmm.)
Now there’s a cupcake on the counter and ice cream in the freezer awaiting the return of my spouse who is currently installing insulation in a muddy, cold crawl space. (Praise Yah, we might just make the mortgage payment on time this month!) What a good, hardworking man my Bobby is. This customer is one of those word-of-mouth referrals that small-town businesses rely on. Yahweh is definitely blessing Bobby in his endeavors.

* * * * *

Blue and Little are playing contentedly nearby while my other four are off hiking in the woods. I realized we weren’t getting outside very much and so I’m encouraging this. It’s bitter cold out but the sun is shining. The ice on the creek is fascinating! I went for a little hike by myself on Sabbath and it was so invigorating. Most of our property is wooded and since it’s not fenced (yet. Oh that fencing weren’t so expensive!) we don’t make much use of it except an occasional hike. I was amazed again how much land we have. It’s only five acres (“more or less” according to the deed), but is so varied. At the top of the hill, tucked into the thick of the forest, is a rocky glade partly covered with gorgeous, cushiony moss. I forget that it’s up there! I think it’d be nice to camp up there in the spring. Equally amazing is how many trees came down during our freaky inland hurricane last spring. There must be at least 60 trees down on our property, mostly large oaks, maples and hickories. What a mess. At least it’s good firewood.

Here’s a cool photo Farra took while hiking yesterday:

I’ll bring the camera along next time I’m out and share some more with ya’ll.

* * * * *

While I’m sharing photos, here’s my niece, Isabella (“Umbrella” to Royal), about 10 months old:

Vince came over to help Bobby buck up some trees. Galidee and Umbrella came along to visit. Here they’re trying on a snow suit, with happy cousins looking on:

* * * * *

That’ll have to hold you over until next time. Incidentally, this is my first entry composed offline with Windows Liver Writer. Lessee if I can publish it without losing it all!

testing

2010-01-05T10:47:00.001-06:00

trying to get Windows Live Writer to work

I love this dogwood skirt

2009-12-28T19:33:00.001-06:00

Finished up another skirt today. Tempted to keep this one! It's for sale at my Etsy store, for those interested.

In-the-fire attitude

2009-12-28T11:07:00.000-06:00

Transparency time.

You know those stories you read about people who have gone through hardship and come out on the other side victorious and praising Yahweh? This isn't one of those stories.

No, this is one of those stories about ME, stumbling around in the MIDST of the hardship, believing there is another side and praying for strength to make it through.

This morning I am a fretful, discontent, grumpy, whining wretch. All I've been able to think about is money and how tight things are. I've been pouting that Bobby isn't making very much money and has to drive so far to work. I'm upset that he's planning on sleeping in his truck in this bitter cold weather because we can't afford to drive back and forth, but there's no other work to be had. I've been fretting over how to cut expenses and complaining in my heart that we have to cut things out that the common American takes for granted. Mom's been helping get my tax info ready and there's a chance that not only will we not get the $3,000 - $5,000 that we usually get from earned income credit, we might actually have to PAY IN, because we've not earned very much this year (what do you call far below poverty level?) and the self employment tax racket is killing us. "Maybe we should go back on food stamps?" I wonder. "We'll never get out of debt this way." Whine whine.

I severely reprimanded myself for comparing our family to others. Or at least, if I'm going to compare I should compare with the large percentage of the world less fortunate than us. Do we have a roof over our heads? Are we warm? Do we eat three square meals a day? Yes, yes, and yes! And then some! The list is huge! And what does it matter how much we earned as long as our needs are provided for? Shouldn't I be pleased that we live so simply, so frugally? I have sooooo much to be thankful for that I have absolutely no reason to pout, but I wanted to share for the record that I have been (in the hopes of encouraging others). I have had a rotten attitude and, of course, put some of that onto my spouse and made HIM feel bad.

Some scriptures come to mind...

Pro 31 - She shall do him good, not evil, all the days of her life...

Ps 37 - Rest in Yahweh and wait patiently for him... Do not fret, it leads only to evildoing... better is the little of the righteous than the abundance of many wicked... I have been young and now I am old; yet I have not seen the righteous forsaken or his descendants begging bread.

Always, always, I come back to this passage, which has been my prayer for quite some time:
Pro 30:7-9 - Two things I asked of Thee, do not refuse me before I die: keep deception and lies far from me, give me neither poverty nor riches; feed me with the food that is my portion, lest I be full and deny Thee saying, "Who is Yahweh?" Or lest I be in want and steal; and profane the name of my Elohim.

I remembered that this morning and read it over and over, weeping, trying to come to terms with it, horrified at my hard heart. He has answered my prayer and yet I have been angry at him for it! I went upon my knees and expressed my gratitude to Yahweh for keeping me close to him, for stretching me, for refining me. In all honesty I am closer to him when my pocketbook is pinched than when I have an abundance. That's why I pray that prayer! He knows me. He knows what I need. (I suspect it's in the book because that's what we all need.) It doesn't mean it doesn't hurt, though. Doesn't mean it's easy. But what a sweetness to know that when I am crushed and clinging to him, I am just where I'm suppose to be. I come to the end of myself and find him.

The trial isn't over. I don't reckon it will be for some 50+ years or so ("there remains therefore a Sabbath rest for the people of Elohim," Heb 4:9, "Let us labor to enter in" vs 11), but if I can just stay in that place right there... on my knees, clinging to him, then I think I can make it through anything.

Who put that food on your plate?

2009-12-26T10:23:00.002-06:00

Just watched, and enjoyed, Food Inc. Thought it was a rather well done film. I've seen some that really ignored or twisted facts, but this one seemed pretty balanced. Well, apparently Monsanto declined being interviewed so we didn't exactly get to see things from their point of view. {wink}

Here's a nice list I found of environmental and food related films to look out for if you liked what you saw in Food Inc.

I have to say that although I agreed with mostly everything in Food Inc, and none of the information was really new to me... I was convicted. More importantly, Bobby was convicted! We had quite a hard time sitting down to a Tyson roast chicken afterward. We managed with prayer and thanksgiving.

Meat has been the one product we hadn't really looked into yet (knowing what we would find and knowing we can only take baby steps right now). I think I can safely say we will be shopping at family friendly farms from now on. (Joel Salatin's "Pigness of the pig" cracked us up! We agree with Salatin's idea of a pig's primary purpose - rooting/composting - but we take it further and say that Yahweh never intended it for food!) I'm pleased to have turned up so many local options with just a quick search. We'll be checked into these nearby farms in the next few weeks for beef, poultry and milk (for the 2-3 months our goats are dry):
Franciscan Family Farms
Family Friendly Farm
Hoye Brothers Farm

And we're seriously looking into acquiring a family milk cow.

The Birthday Party

2009-12-22T13:00:00.001-06:00

By John & Marlys Hardcastle

WIFE TO HUSBAND: Darling! I have decided to have a big birthday party for you!

HUSBAND: Wonderful!

WIFE: On December 25th.

HUSBAND: That's not my birthday.

WIFE: I know, I know, but we'll just SAY it's your birthday.

HUSBAND: That's your ex-boy friend's birthday!

WIFE: That's okay, I have decided to call it your birthday.

HUSBAND: No, its not okay. Why don't you just pick any day that is NOT your ex-boy friend's birthday? Aren't you interested in what is true? In what is pleasing to me? Even enough to find out my real birth date?

WIFE: Now, now, don't get upset. I have decided that we'll just SAY it is your birthday. I've sent out the invitations and everybody is doing it so that makes it okay.

HUSBAND: It does?

WIFE: Yes, and you wouldn't want me to change the date and inconvenience anyone. I have decided it is okay.

HUSBAND: You've decided. I would be pleased if you would just take my hand and follow me and spend a few moments with me.

WIFE: Later, later. No time now. I have invited ALL the family. My Father and Mother and Uncle Bill and Cousin Betty and Ernie and all the kids and grandkids and, Oh, the children will love it! We'll do it for the children!They deserve it!

HUSBAND: For the children. I see, a day to exalt family...and you call it my birthday. Makes me think you love family more than me.

WIFE: Oh, you'll love it, too, I have decided. And we'll all give gifts to each other.

HUSBAND: This is supposed to be MY birthday? Yet you give gifts to others? Why?

WIFE: And I'll decorate the house...red ribbons and bows and...

HUSBAND: Red? Red is your ex-boyfriend's favorite color! I like blue and green. Blue skies, blue seas, green grass, trees, birds...

WIFE: Oh, I'm putting up a green tree decorated with gold and silver ball sand we'll put gifts under it!

HUSBAND: Like the idolaters throughout history....every green tree... That is idolatry.

WIFE: And I'll have to buy gifts and do lots of shopping and...

HUSBAND: ...so the God of Mammon will get his.

WIFE: It will be worth it! I'll decorate and bake cookies and fruitcake and..

HUSBAND: Sounds like you'll be really busy. Come away my beloved and spend a little time with me...a walk by the river, a...

WIFE: Later, darling. I'll be busy, but you'll love it...I've decided. The hustle, the bustle...oh, yes, and I've decided to have a nice baked ham...

HUSBAND: Charred swine's flesh! On what you SAY is my birthday and is not!Who is in charge here? Why do you just do YOUR THING and assume that I will put my stamp of approval on it? If you love me, why do you not DO the things that I say? Why do you not do things MY WAY? You don't even KNOW me! I suppose the next thing you'll do is dress your ex-boyfriend in a red suit and have him drop down the chimney!

WIFE: Uhhhh...

How Does Yahweh Celebrate Christmas?

2009-12-19T09:13:00.001-06:00

So you read this article about the pagin origins of Christmas. Maybe you knew all of it, maybe you didn't.

So what, right? That was so long ago and it doesn't mean that to us today. Well, why don'tcha have a read through this article for a fresh perspective on what our heavenly Father thinks of our Christmas celebration.

Our first snow of the season!

2009-12-19T08:57:00.001-06:00

I'm not postin' pictures. It's too pathetic. (Trish would laugh at me.) As Royal (almost 3yrs) said when he came down this morning. "It's not all all snow, just plumps of it."

But, snow it is, and for it I am thankful. Still envious of my brother who got caught in a blizzard as he was driving to Omaha, Nebraska last week. The same blizzard Kim anticipated as her family was ready to head from Nebraska to Tennessee. Could someone at least bring me a snowcone? Throw a snowball my direction? Ahh... a Missourian I am and probably always will be, but it wasn't always so and that Vermont blood runs frostily through my veins.

My very first car accident

2009-12-16T18:38:00.000-06:00

After nearly 12 years behind the wheel without a ticket (though that policeman should have written me one for going 45 in a 35 when he stopped me this summer) or a mishap, I had my first car accident today. Gosh, I feel awful about it! I scratched a lady's bumper in the grocery store parking lot. Don't laugh! I felt sick to my stomach as soon as I realized what that sound was! A man saw me do it and the look on his face was dreadful... he was ready to chase me down, I think, though I was only pulling around to park the van again, so I could check out the damage and wait for the owner. She came out as I was pulling up and he was so happy to tell her, with dirty looks and wild hand gestures, what I had done.

With a quick prayer I climbed meekly out of the van. The owner was pretty upset. There's nothing like the glare of an older woman! Why is everyone so ready to get all irrate at people? We had to go in the store to call the police to file a report and so I had to unload all the kids again... she softened a little at that point, I think. I was meek and sooo apologetic and made friendly conversation. Why did I have to scratch a nice car? Why couldn't it have been one of the old beat-up wagons or trucks, whose owner wouldn't have cared? Oh well. It was humbling. I think she forgives me, but I'll always feel soooooo wretched, remembering the look on her face and the face of that man. I think I'll find out where she lives and we'll bake her some cookies or bread or something.

From now on, if I ever leave the house by vehicle again, I'm parking my '94 Chevy Beast on the outskirts of the lot.

My Etsy Sewing Thrill

2009-12-16T17:19:00.003-06:00

I love to sew. It's a wonder I have time for it, but it's one of my favorite things to do. Years ago I started sewing up skirts with unique applique, some for myself and some as gifts. I frequently received compliments on them when I was out and in the last couple years have even had ladies request them, purchasing them as gifts for thier friends.

Early this summer the local fabric store went out of business and my spouse let me purchase a goodly amount for winter sewing. The idea was to make up some skirts to sell. Although my back has prevented me from being at the machine alot, I've been able to get a couple skirts sewn. I'd heard of Etsy, so I checked it out and it seemed like a decent sort of place (with not too much competition for what I have in mind), so I opened shop.

With fear and trembling (can you say perfectionist?) I gingerly priced and placed this paisley piece

and sold it within minutes to a lovely gal in New Zealand. Whoa. No kidding? No kidding. I cried. Seriously. Bobby said, "Well, looks like we'd better get sewing!" Remember, rough winter, no work, etc...

When he's not working (which, halleluYah, he has been!) he helps me iron and cut and do the basic sewing. (I'm so pleased that he's manly enough not to have a complex about this!) Farra and Atira help, too. I do the finishing and applique and/or patchwork. Now he has some work, so I'm sewing as I'm able. Family and home always come first.

So, check it out here, if you like. You can also find the link on the sidebar. I hope to sew some schnazzy baby carrier type wraps to sell, also.

Here's the newest skirt, modeled by the lovely Farra.

Good photos are important and though I've taken lots of photos of my work in the past, I've had to really put some thought into that end of it. Good thing I enjoy photography, too, eh?

Turning fire-belching dragons into knights

2009-12-14T10:47:00.002-06:00

Raising respectable young men by being a respectable lady...? I enjoyed this article and thought you all might, too.

About food; shopping and cooking

2009-12-14T10:24:00.002-06:00

Thought I'd share a little bit about our food systems. We've gone through quite a transformation, the last couple years in particular.

It's a wonder we are where we are now with our eating habits, considering we were on food stamps for the last six years (we gave them up a couple months ago, determining to trust our Father for our provision - while acknowledging that that was his provision for season). They always gave us well more than we needed and we could easily have lived entirely on convenience foods. I won't lie, we did consume a lot of prepared/frozen dishes. And still had enough left that we often bought groceries for others (though we weren't supposed to). Anyway, like I said, it's a wonder I learned (or even desired) to cook wholesome, inexpensive meals for my family.

About a year ago we began to feel it was time to get off food stamps. We began to really cut back on the convenience foods and stock up on non-perishable staples. We had started grinding our own grain (with our Nutrimill, which quickly paid for itself) and buying staples in bulk, as well as shopping and scratch & dent food stores (even cheaper than ALDI's).

I can't say enough for buying in bulk! I realize it's hard for some of you (and will be harder for us now) to spend much money all at once. But I intend to make it happen somehow. We save so much money just by not having to run to the store every week. Bobby will pick up an item or two for me on his way home for work, otherwise I really only shop about once a month. It saves on gas and saves on impulse buying. One month I might buy extra baking items, another trip I'll stock up on canned goods. Make it work for you!

You can find room in your house to store extra food. We started with a couple shelves in the laundry room for the overflow. I ended up getting rid of a bunch of kitchen gadgets I don't use (I hate things that only serve one purpose. The hot-air popcorn popper is an example. It's so much tastier popped on the stove and I use the pot for other things! And we regained valuable space when the dishwasher died) and installing some extra shelves in the pantry (well, Bobby did it for me) and now there's not much I can't store right in the kitchen. If you can buy food in bulk packaging it helps a lot. Packaging takes up so much space! We save space by not buying boxed cereal, for instance. We decided it's a) expensive, b) space-hogging, and c) bad for you (yes, even the granola type stuff). We haven't yet found a hook-up for bulk pasta, but when we buy a several of boxes we dump them into one plastic container and burn the boxes. (There, we save on our trash bill, too.)

We buy grains in bulk (25 and 50 pound bags) from a friend's healthfood/garden store in the next town over (they're a little expensive, but accept food stamps, so we were able to stock up) and keep them in our pantry in 5 gallon buckets. They're not food-grade buckets, just free paint and drywall mud buckets from construction sites, cleaned out and sanitized. I figure since the goods are dry, and the storage is relatively short-term, it doesn't matter too much. The lids are impossible to clean, so I buy new lids at China-Mart for a buck something. I'd love to get the Gamma lids for the buckets we're into daily, much easier to open and close, but can't swing the cost just yet.

My sister-in-law had the clever idea to have the children decorate the buckets. I may let them do this soon, even though they're in the pantry and not on display. A sort of color code would be nice.

Here's the list of bulk grains, all organic, that we keep on hand:

rolled oats - quick for most purposes (oat porridge, quick breads, cookies), regular for granola (typical Sabbath breakfast)
popcorn - our favorite snack and comfort food. Bobby doesn't care for it, but the kids and I often make it a meal by serving it with a chunk of cheese and side of fruit (typical Sabbath lunch).
corn - right now we grind it for cornbread and Johnny cakes, but soon I intend to try my hand at hominy and masa for tortillas (the Encyclopedia of Country Living explains the process of soaking corn in a lime or baking soda mixture which releases an important nutrient you wouldn't otherwise get from corn)
rye - figured I'd use it for sourdough, and I do sometimes, but now that I've figured out how to use wheat (and prefer it), I probably won't buy more rye.
rice, long grain, brown - please don't bother with white rice! You really do get used to brown rice, and soon prefer it. You won't go back to that bland, diabetic's nightmare stuff. Among the usual uses, we sometimes grind it course for porridge in the morning
hard red spring wheat - our choice for bread and tortillas. The store I mentioned now carries an organic animal grade of this wheat which is perfectly edible and half the price of the "human" stuff they carry. I'm very pleased with it.
soft white spring wheat - pastry wheat. Our choice for biscuits, pancakes, muffins, desserts, cream-of-wheat, etc. High in protein and wonderfully soft, but not enough gluten for yeast bread (we ran out of hard red last week and I tried soft white - terrible!). Allow me to tell you all about how we purchased this wheat this year.

Back in the spring our friends, the Fourniers, invited us to get in on a deal they had partaken of the year before. Their neighbor harvests his soft white wheat and sells them as much as they want (fresh from the field, before it’s cleaned) for market price (though they usually pay him more than). Market price this year was $4.20 a bushel. A bushel. That’s 60 pounds. I’d been paying over a dollar a pound for this stuff! We paid him $5 a bushel.

We ordered twelve bushels (and our friends at least three or four times that since there's 13 of them and they also they feed it to their animals). They had 55 gal drums ready when he delivered it and after the wheat dried for a couple days they took it to a local mill to have it cleaned and bagged. Total cost: $7 a bushel. If my math is right, we paid about eight and half cents a pound.

We filled two 55 gallon drums (food grade - $10 each from an ice cream factory two hours away - also a Fournier hook-up; these folks are da bomb.com) with wheat for eighty-four dollars. What a huge blessing! We’re not even halfway through the first drum. We haven't any outbuildings besides a small (full) barn, so we have one drum in our laundry room and one in the corner of our living room. We fill up our 5 gal pantry bucket from there as needed.

I look forward to many more sources like this in the coming years. I love to buy local, direct from the grower. (I'll save my anti-merchant rants for another time.)

We also buy sucanat (stands for "sugar cane natural" - sugar cane juice that's been dried and ground, but otherwise unprocessed) by the 25 or 50 pound bag. We don't use white sugar and have played around with alternative sweeteners, and sucanat is our preferred sweetener for most baked goods (cookies, brownies, cakes, etc - which we limit to once a week and special occasions).

We do like honey for our other sweet needs. Some day I'll convince my husband we can handle bees. Still looking for an inexpensive local source. For now we buy a couple quarts at a time from our friend's store. It's raw Michigan honey. We bring in our own jars and save a little cash there.

Maple syrup is a real treat, one we allow ourselves occasionally since we found a family outside town (on the other side) that bottles their own.

Not everyone needs or has a place to store 50 lbs of salt, but since we have the space and it was so inexpensive, I bought some. Like the wheat above, this is also animal grade, but it's from a good source, is not bleached and has no additives. It's like "Real" salt, for those of you familiar with that. It's courser than your average table salt (and is like biting into sand, if you use it in bread), but the children enjoy grinding a month's supply in our hand-turned coffee grinder. The price for 50 lbs was less than $15. That's like 3 cents a pound. Can't beat that. Not that salt is one of the bigger grocery expenses.

I bought about 20 lbs each of red, black and pinto beans, but still need buckets for them. We're learning a lot about legumes and are acquiring quite a fondness for lentils, so I'll be buying those in bulk, too. I'm going to try growing my own dry beans next year. I've really learned how to stretch our meat by combining with beans and also making tasty meatless dishes. The "More With Less" cookbook has been a real nice source of recipes and advice for yummy economic cooking. We didn't eat beans much (ever?) growing up, so this is new territory for me.

I'm still learning about putting garden produce by. This coming year I'll be focusing on root veggies and other staples, since my experimenting this last year was so successful. I've been reading about root cellaring and, although we don't have one, I now see many areas around our place where I can store root veggies and squash and things. I'll be pleased if I can put by a goodly amount of the things we use regularly: potatoes, carrots, onions, garlic, beans, tomatoes and squash. And I plan to extend the growing season with early and late plantings of greens and brassicas. We buy alfalfa seeds (and sometimes other types) for sprouting during the winter and summer when lettuce isn't growing.

The pantry still holds home canned green beans and a few jars of salsa and BBQ sauce. Next year, more puree, me thinks. More beans. I'll be working on some fruit and nut bearing trees and shrubs (apples, pears, strawberries, blackberries, blueberries, pecans, hazelnuts) in the future. While I'm getting those underway I'll try to do the U-pick places and buy a lot of in-season-on-sale fruits at the store, freezing and canning as I'm able.

In the meantime we buy limited amounts of fruits. Fresh fruit is becoming quite a treat. We pick up all-fruit spread and canned fruit at the scratch & dent store. We also buy spices there (it's always my intention to grow more herbs, I just never do!), though the tiny containers drive me nuts, we go through them so fast. I'll soon be buying spices in bulk online. My mom was impressed with SpicesEtc., so I'll check there first. We also pick up odds and ends like canned olives, canned tuna, canned veggies and the occasional chocolate bar at the s&d store.

Currently I'm waiting on some info from the local co-op. From there I'll be ordering organic chocolate, oils, whole wheat pasta, and probably a lot of beans and grains that are rather expensive at my friend's store.

Right now our deep freeze is pretty well stocked with meat (beef & chicken, a little salmon) from our food stamps days. As that winds down and work picks up, we hope to buy beef locally. Food stamps really limit where you shop and the deals you can get! We might pick up some chickens in the spring just for butchering in the fall. We'll butcher all next year's male goats for meat. I would love it if Bobby would hunt, but so far he hasn't shown much interest. But when our meat supply dwindles and there are more beans than beef on his plate, he may change his mind.

We're blessed to have chickens for eggs. Chickens are so easy and inexpensive to keep, everyone should have them! Our flock of one rooster (I recently found out that fertilized eggs keep better and are better for you) and 15 hens (some older and molting, some new and not laying yet) were giving us a whopping two eggs a day. Now we get eight or nine a day, which is a good amount for us. We hope to enlarge the coop, double the flock and sell eggs to our neighbors next fall.

We also have the goats for milk. We're still milking our one doe, morning and night, but she and her daughter from the previous year are bred, due to kid in mid April. Dessy was giving about half a gallon a day and even with the cold she's only dropped back to a quart and a half. We'll dry her up two months before she's due to kid. It's just enough milk for cooking with, but not much else.

Our cheese and butter we're buying in bulk from Middlefield Cheese in Ohio. A friend of ours started sort of a co-op and orders for everyone, getting us a discount. The cheese is good and natural and half the price of what we buy at the store, but comes in 5 lb blocks (I think you can order smaller amounts, but not at the discounted price). The 2 lb rolls of butter cost a hair more than store butter, but is worth it to know it's natural... and the taste is wonderful! I didn't know butter could taste so good! The difference is quite like free-range chicken eggs and store eggs. Farm fresh is firm, tastier, and more colorful.

I used to plan meals on a weekly basis and really saved a lot by planning ahead. When we changed our eating habits I stopped planning and just cooked up whatever was on hand. Now I'm planning meals monthly, breakfasts and suppers (lunches are variable, but always easy, sometimes leftover and often meatless). I have a weekly guide that goes something like this...

pancakes, roast w/ veggies (beef, chicken or chevon)
quick bread (muffins, cornbread, baked oatmeal), soup/stew (from leftover roast)
porridge (oats, wheat, rice), Mexican
pancakes, random suppers that take a little more time (burgers, stir fry, fish)
eggs and toast, pasta
Preparation day: porridge, pizza, as well as Sabbath meals
Sabbath: granola w/ milk or yogurt, popcorn, bread, cheese, fruit and a casserole or hearty soup for supper.

There's a big note on the menu that says "Momma reserves the right to change the menu without notice!" We might have an abundance of eggs one week so I'll scratch one of the porridges and we'll have eggs and toast twice. Or I'll have miscalculated and be short an important ingredient so we shift a couple meals around. But having the menu as a guide is so nice! The dishes vary each week, but the months look pretty much the same. I tweak each month before printing, accounting for ingredients and weather (a hot stew might not hit the spot when it's 90° outside - we would probably prefer to grill). I started by making a categorized list of all the meals I cook regularly, or would like to. Some facilitate others very well, like the roast and soup/stew.

If I can do all this, you can, too! (Well, most of it. I understand if you can't have a big garden or keep animals.) Use what you have and stretch whatever you can. And don't tell me that eating healthy is too expensive! Too often that means "I'm too lazy to work at it." Yes, "healthy" convenience food is more expensive than bad convenience food, but convenience costs no matter which way you go. Put your mind to it (and pray!) and put your back into it and you can eat better for less money.

In the way of encouragement let me remind you that this doesn't happen overnight. I'm not even saying you should, I just wanted to share what we do. But if you're interested, take it one step at a time. Choose one day a week to cook from scratch, or one meal a day, or start by modifying one food group (grains, for example. Bake your own bread, even if you can't grind your own grains or stand the taste of whole wheat). I'll have you know that giving up boxed cereals was very hard for me! It was my favorite breakfast and favorite snack. Now I look back and don't know what the big deal was.

Lastly, don't underestimate the power of prayer in changing your eating, cooking and shopping habits. Lean on Yahweh for strength and wisdom.

The Real Reason For The Season

2009-12-11T07:39:00.001-06:00

Can we put Christ back in Christmas? Was he ever there to begin with? In the time it takes you to bake a tray of Christmas cookies you can look into this and find the answer. Start here, if you don't know where else to look.

Grandpa's Black Rat Snake

2009-12-10T17:15:00.002-06:00

Got the latest issue of Countryside in the mail today. Looks like a lot of good reading! I love this magazine. I was a little disappointed, I admit, to find that something I submitted wasn't printed, but I'll get over it. They have so many readers with so much to share! Mine wasn't so much useful as an interesting tale. Anyway, I'll post the story here to give you something to read while I'm off this week reading my beloved magazine... =)

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The article in the Nov/Dec issue regarding black snakes brings to mind a story my grandpa told me about one of his many critter and homesteading adventures.

My grandpa was one of those rare birds, a native Floridian, a genuine cracker, born and raised in the woods and swamps around Sarasota. (His alligator hunting stories are for another time!) After years in the military and losing his first wife, with his children grown and starting their own families, he remarried and settled down in a small town in Missouri. They were typical homesteaders I guess, with goats, chickens, ticks, and a big garden. Only it wasn't a "movement" then, just what sensible, country-loving people did. Your grandparents were about the same, right?

Grandpa and Granny Bea used plastic eggs for awhile in their chicken coop to encourage their hens to use the nest boxes. I've not heard of that practice since and wonder if people still do it. Apparently it worked. However, it turns out it was rather rough on egg-loving snakes!

One day Grandpa went to out to tend the chickens and found a large black rat snake in the coop. The poor thing had swallowed one plastic egg, crept through a knothole in the wooden partition between nests and swallowed another plastic egg. Being unable to crush and regurgitate the shell as with real eggs, the snake was stuck fast in this board, with a plastic bump on either side! I'm sure Grandpa was doubled over in stitches laughing at this unsuspecting reptile. He cut the board to free the critter, but I'm not sure what became of Mr. Snake after that. I imagine he simply regurgitated the eggs and went on his way. Wonder if he ever ate eggs again!

I'm now blessed myself, by my heavenly Father, to live in a small town in Missouri with my husband and six children. We are a few years into that homesteading dream that all of us Countryside readers seem to share. My grandpa returned from FL a couple years ago and my children got to know him and hear some of his stories for themselves. He was just as excited as they were when we raised our first chicks, put in our first real garden, and brought home our first goats. He passed away a few months after moving here and missed our first spring kidding. What an ache in my heart not to be able to share those adventures with him! How he would have loved to hear about my helping deliver our first goat kid and the antics I went through trying to milk that first cranky old nanny, having never milked before. Her favorite trick, once we got the kicking under control, was sitting down when I tried to milk her. Grandpa is one of the few in my life who would appreciate the valuable lessons I learned with that ornery goat!

There's so much to do and to learn in this homesteading thing. If you have anyone in your life who has any kind of experience, cherish it! Make use of it! I feel like I have so much to learn and fear I'll have to learn it all from books. In classic back-to-the-lander fashion I butchered my first chicken with a knife in one hand and the Encyclopedia of Country Living in the other. (My 10 year old daughter, reading this, protests, "You did not! I had to hold it for you!" True. Maybe someone should market something like a music stand to hold instructional literature for us ignorant DIYers.) Yet, I'm thankful for the little bit of sensible country blood I have and that I didn't have to start completely from scratch. Also, the creator of all things has helped out. You'd be surprised how much practical animal husbandry and gardening wisdom the Bible contains. Here's to the dream! Remember, this may be new to us, but it's not new.

Yahweh’s provision and our nearsightedness

2009-12-10T13:16:00.001-06:00

The construction trade is hard. Always feast or famine. It's harder still to practice construction in a depressed area, as we do. Harder still in the winter months. But Yahweh is faithful!

This winter seems rougher than the last, but I suppose it's only because it's closer to us than the last. Well, maybe it is rougher. With my back acting up, not a drop of unemployment income (the downside to being self-employed), and being off food stamps for the first time in years (by choice). Regardless, it's always a trying time. The struggle is always the same. How are we going to pay the next bill? Can we make it through the winter without killing each other? But our faith is growing. We're seeing more victory in our attitudes than ever before. Being down periodically with back pain has forced me to be still and know that he is Elohim.

I’m tempted, as always, to wig out about tomorrow, but having been here so many times and seeing Father’s faithfulness... I’m much quicker to remember that just because I can’t see past today doesn’t mean all hope is lost. My Father can see clearly in what to me is darkness and he knows the plans he has for me (and they're good plans!). Yeah, right now we have no way to pay this bill or that bill, but it’s still a whole week away. And even if Yahweh doesn’t provide for it, I trust that we need that humbling.

When Bobby’s home and doing everything he can to find paying work, stress levels at the Williams’ house are usually quite high. He feels inadequate and I’m rarely much help! Somehow it’s different this time. The temptation is there, for both of us, to bicker and blame (goes well with that helpless feeling we both experience)... but we’re seeing each other overcome. I’m amazed at Bobby’s perseverance in seeking gainful employment, as well as his faith that Father will provide. His calm, steady nature is strength to me and makes me less prone to pick on him. It also encourages me to trust Father. We’ve come a long, long way, my man and I.

As if these weren’t blessings enough, let me tell you more.

So far this is how Yahweh has provided since Bobby’s last regular job (before Thanksgiving):

A surprise $50 in the mail from a family member.

Our neighbors needed their guest house sided and their son (who works at a factory full time and construction part time) has been too busy to get to it so he paid Bobby to do it.

(Usually there’s a few days between these things. Enough time to stretch us, test our faith.)

My washing machine dies. In the middle of a load (when else?). We had told no one about it and yet that evening a friend calls and asks if we could use a washer. It’s not in great shape, but should get us by until we can afford to fix my ancient and small, but sturdy Maytag.

I start up an Etsy shop online and sell my first item, an appliqué skirt (my specialty), within minutes of posting it. What an ego boost! Now we’re sewing up skirts and things every spare minute we’ve got so I can post and hopefully sell more. This is limited by my back pain - I can’t sit at the machine for too long. The bonus: Bobby’s and Farra’s sewing skills are drastically improving.

We found a furniture shop that would buy all the furniture we’d been trying to sell yard-sale style this summer. It sold for much less than it was worth, but a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.

Someone gifts us the money to pay our electric bill.

My dad turns us onto a roof job. Bobby stops by the house where this guy is roofing and he hires him on the spot. He’s impressed with Bobby’s skill and what a hard worker he is. He pays him more than the agreed amount . Also, upon hearing the amount of our mortgage payment due at the end of the week, says he has enough work for Bobby that we should be able to make it. Bobby’s reputation as a reliable, hard worker is being built, as we’re praying. The work is close to home. The guy has rental properties and will likely call on Bobby again.

Yahweh gifts his daughter special peace and wisdom to be content and joyful in the dark. She is then able to set the mood for the home and makes it easier for the rest of the family to be at ease and trust.

While Bobby’s in town he runs into a friend who offers to give our phone number to a carpet installer who sometimes needs help. The carpet installer calls the next day and the day after that (yesterday) Bobby is working with him. It's not steady work, and it’s an hour or so away, and the pay is barely worth it, but it’s something! The fella has been hoping for some regular help because as it’s just him he often has to turn down work. Opportunity? Maybe. Maybe.

That one there, I tell ya what... Here we are, praising Yahweh for his provision, and it’s good and right that we do so, but rather nearsighted of us. This last job (“divine appointment”) showed us that maybe Father has something more in mind than just providing money for our bills and food for our bellies. When we’re in this mode that’s often all we can see. It didn’t cross my mind that Yahweh is using Bobby to bless others, and others to bless Bobby, in means other than financial.

Bobby and this carpet installer, Don, were talking a bit through the morning, but long about lunch time the talk turns to food and it comes out that Bobby tries to abide by the food laws set forth in the Bible. Don is intrigued and asks if Bobby keeps the Feasts. The rest of the day Don insists Bobby work in the same room with him (instead of in another room, where he’d worked that morning) so they can talk.

Yahweh has been leading this man and his family toward a better understanding of and obedience toward the Torah. He was thrilled to hear everything Bobby had to say (and Bobby has been learning so much! And for the most part only has me to share it with. He was on cloud nine after work yesterday. "It was so refreshing!" he said). At some point they even had a concordance out and were really digging in the Word. Don was disappointed that Bobby couldn’t come back today (gotta finish that roof - which is closer and also pays better). He told Bobby that he was pretty unsure about him upon first meeting (my spouse is a little, um, rough looking) but was so blessed to get to know him better. (He gets that a lot.)

See what I mean? We were just thankful for the work but Yahweh had something bigger in mind! We both feel it confirms our feeling that Bobby should be doing more work on his own, where he can meet more people and share truth with them. He’s not very extroverted and doesn’t offer much unless asked, but he seems to be good at spotting opportunities to plant seeds.

He also came home thinking he would like to work with Don more to learn the ins and outs of carpet installation so he can offer this service as well. (He really will be a jack of all trades!) This, combined with the fact that his little truck’s transmission cannot possibly last much longer (“reverse” has been out for months and it’d cost more than it’s worth, and more than we can afford, to fix it) led him to suggest that we keep our old Chevy van that we’ve been trying to sell (also for months). It was overheating when we parked it but otherwise is still a great van. I had just had this thought the night before and was going to suggest it to him! The gas mileage isn’t as good, but it would be a lot more convenient for a work vehicle, with lots of room for his tools (and carpet, should he go there, and other materials). And, the back folds out to a bed which he could make use of when working farther from home, if hard pressed. His little truck should sell easily around here, even with the tranny issue.

Will the Williams make their mortgage payment this month? Will Bobby freeze on the roof today? Will they be able to buy cheese next week? Will Kaleesha crack up with evil fretting and inability to function normally? Tune in next time to The Bigger Half!

Getting Rich Quick: Musings From The Couch

2009-12-08T08:42:00.000-06:00

I really had no idea how much I did, how complex my average day was, until I was confined to the couch and attempting to direct my family members to do just some of what I usually do. Sometimes a momma can feel overwhelmed and taken for granted... is it wrong to feel a tiny sense of accolade that the home just barely functions when I'm not on duty? I guess it's just my sick way of snatching a compliment! Really, this all may sound prideful, but if you consider that I'm the type that usually beats myself up over what I don't or can't get done, my self esteem account usually in the proverbial "red", then having something in the form of a compliment brings me just up to the "black" and I feel alright. Is that pride?

As discouraging as it is to not be able to do the things I like to do or feel like I need to do, to wonder if I'm ever going to be "normal" again (well, you know what I mean!), it has not escaped my attention that this is the Father's perfect will for our family. It has been a good spiritual growing season. I'm learning to be at peace with the situation, to be still. I'm forced to teach more and do less - the children are all learning about serving and are doing it with cheerful hearts. They are being stretched in their abilities (Daddy always seems to expect more of them than Momma) and actually thriving on it. It's good.

My Farra is a blessing that words can hardly describe. It brings tears to my eyes when I watch how she willingly serves. And serves. And serves. And the only thing she ever asks is for me to read to her when we have a quiet moment, or maybe share a little chocolate with me from my stash. She is able to do most of the things I do around the house, she only needs to be asked. She is 2nd in command when it comes to the animals and their needs. Perfectionist that I am, I never am concerned that the animals are being neglected when Farra is in charge of the barn. It's so hard to believe that she's only ten! And Atira is swiftly coming up behind her in ability and willingness. And Seth! He takes such pride in especially masculine things like bringing in the wood and taking out the trash. (Yet, his favorite pastime right now is embroidery!)

Not to be outdone by the children, Bobby has been a real hero lately. Even when my back wasn't on the fritz he's really been pitching in around here. He's growing in leaps and bounds these days, really willing to do more around the house (remember, we're talking about someone who is currently not working outside the home). He's never been unwilling to help, he usually just doesn't know how or where. He's beginning to take more initiative. The load is not as heavy on me when he's home, when it used to be more so! But it's his brighter attitude that blesses me most. More about how he does it that what he does. If you could hear his testimony and know the way he was brought up, you could really rejoice with me in this new attitude toward work!

This is all part of my get-rich-quick scheme, you know, counting blessings.

Modesty and a blog worth your time

2009-12-07T10:14:00.001-06:00

Being confined to bed with my back out has provided a good opportunity to check out Mrs.'s Parunak's blog, the one I linked to the other day. It is well worth your time to read her writings. All of them. I've been blessed by every one that I've read, and I've been reading a lot since yesterday morning! Her writing is clear and enjoyable and very thought-provoking, edgy but not in-your-face. She covers topics like birth control, parenting, homemaking, homeschooling, hospitality, pornography and immodesty. Although I have enjoyed everything so far (I want to link to all of it!) I have to say, I'm blown away by her thoughts on the latter two. I'm so grateful for her frankness and her vision. I'm excited to have a vision of my own now (Bobby's hip, too), a battle plan for teaching my sons and daughters not only about modesty and Yahweh's purpose for immodesty and how to guard ourselves against the harlot. Here's some snippets:

Mrs. Parunak's posts on modesty

Let me be a little blunt, when men are staring at women, taking long looks and second looks, they are almost always doing it for that little floaty zing it makes them feel. And that is just old-fashioned lust. ... And guess what? Any woman is powerless to hold onto a man who is in this state. Men who have given themselves over to lust are going to look at every pair of x chromosomes that walks by, hoping for a zing. We women often think that if we were just prettier, if we just dressed a little better, if we just lost a few more pounds and looked more like those girls on the magazine covers then we’d win the great beauty pageant of life and be crowned with a husband’s unswerving attention. It just isn’t so.
------------------------------------------------
(a quote of a quote)
For most of human history, erotic images have been reflections of, or celebrations of, or substitutes for, real naked women. For the first time in human history, the images’ power and allure have supplanted that of real naked women. Today, real naked women are just bad porn….
------------------------------------------------

It all reminds me of what C.S. Lewis wrote in The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe,

Nothing spoils the taste of good ordinary food half so much as the memory of bad magic food.
If you want to appreciate fresh fish and potatoes, stay away from the Witch’s Turkish delight. If you want a steamy sex life, stay away from porn.
------------------------------------------------
...the reason we are modest out in the world is that immodesty is so beautiful, so special, and so powerful. It is a force that feeds our marriages, thrills our husbands, and helps ensure that we produce the godly seed that the Lord says He desires (Malachi 2:15). It is a force that applied in the wrong place can be deadly, destroying purity, feeding lust, and leaving broken relationships in its wake.

-----------------------------------------------

If we raise pure daughters by making them prudes, then we’ve crippled them. We’ve helped them save themselves for marriage without teaching them how to give themselves away when the time comes. They are treasures in a chest with no key that will have to be hacked open slowly, painfully, with frustration and disappointment. Every woman who’s had to struggle through that awful feeling of internal conflict when something that was “bad” her whole life is supposedly transformed into something “good” in the course of one afternoon just because she put on a fancy dress and got a new piece of jewelry, every one of them wants something better for her daughters.
------------------------------------------------
We believe that we cannot afford to take the easy path of ensuring our daughters’ modesty by grossing them out. “Oh dear, that nasty woman over there is showing her cleavage. Ew! We certainly don’t do that in this family.” We tell even our young children that God made our bodies beautiful, and that looking at immodest bodies is exciting, but the reason God made it that way is to bless our marriages. When we look at people we’re not married to, who are showing off their bodies in immodest ways, we’re stealing from our future spouse. We tell our children to look away from immodesty, not because it’s “yucky,” but because they need to “save their eyes.” We encourage them to be modest, not because immodesty is so “shocking” or “embarassing,” but because immodesty is “only for your husband to enjoy, not everyone else.”
------------------------------------------------
Are we dressing in a showy or impressive way? Are we making a big deal out of our curves, being sure that no one could fail to notice how enticing we are? It has to do with us. The measure of our obedience is whether or not we are flaunting our assets, NOT whether some pervert with a religious fetish manages to lust after us.
------------------------------------------------
What that means is going to be different for every woman because every woman has different assets. What’s especially beautiful on one, may not be that striking on another. That’s why legalistic “guidelines” are not always terribly helpful. What’s modest for one woman may be showing off for someone else.

prayer request

2009-12-06T10:01:00.001-06:00

Hey wonderful readers,

I could really use some prayer this week. My lower back has had some issues for awhile but I twisted wrong or something just before Thanksgiving Day and I've been up and down with it since. Mostly down. I thought I was on the mend (able to do some stretching and light pilates) but this morning's chores did me in. Again. It hurts worse than ever. So, I could use prayer for my lower back specifically, and also against discouragement. Some of you know how discouraging chronic pain is, especially when you have a large household to manage! Bobby's having a hard time finding work (and we don't qualify for unemployment - chew on that for a moment... zero income) so that adds to the effect... But on the bright side, he's home to help around here.

You get the picture.

'Priciate it!
~K~

My Utmost for His Heart

2009-12-05T13:48:00.006-06:00

A dear friend gave me a copy of Oswald Chambers devotional book, "My Utmost For His Highest" several years ago. I've been missing it for months and found it the other day behind some other books on my bookshelf (strange, how did it get on the bookshelf?). That day's devotion fit well with the entry I linked to on my former blog about movements not being equal to a messiah. If you haven't read it yet, I encourage you to take a few minutes and do so! You can find it here. (Disclaimer, that was my first time at Mrs. Parunak's blog and I can't endorse everything she writes, but I liked what little I read and will be back to scope it out.)

(emphasis in the following is mine)

December 2

CHRISTIAN PERFECTION
by Oswald Chambers

"Not as though I had already attained, either were already perfect. . . ." Philippians 3:12

It is a snare to imagine that God wants to make us perfect specimens of what He can do; God's purpose is to make us one with Himself. The emphasis of holiness movements is apt to be that God is producing specimens of holiness to put in His museum. If you go off on this idea of personal holiness, the dead-set of your life will not be for God, but for what you call the manifestation of God in your life. "It can never be God's will that I should be sick." If it was God's will to bruise His own Son, why should He not bruise you? The thing that tells for God is not your relevant consistency to an idea of what a saint should be, but your real vital relation to Jesus Christ, and your abandonment to Him whether you are well or ill.

Christian perfection is not, and never can be, human perfection. Christian perfection is the perfection of a relationship to God which shows itself amid the irrelevancies of human life. When you obey the call of Jesus Christ, the first thing that strikes you is the irrelevancy of the things you have to do, and the next thing that strikes you is the fact that other people seem to be living perfectly consistent lives. Such lives are apt to leave you with the idea that God is unnecessary, by human effort and devotion we can reach the standard God wants. In a fallen world this can never be done. I am called to live in perfect relation to God so that my life produces a longing after God in other lives, not admiration for myself. Thoughts about myself hinder my usefulness to God. God is not after perfecting me to be a specimen in His show-room; He is getting me to the place where He can use me. Let Him do what He likes.

Contrary to what some choose to believe about me, this (as well as the point of the movement/messiah article) reflects the condition of my own heart. I wanted to share it here. I don't do what I do to gain a relationship with my Father, I do what I do because of my relationship with my Father. I'm not into any movements (labels, boxes), but I am into moving. It's a tricky thing when we start changing the way we live to please our Father, walking in obedience as children. It's a necessary part of growing, but difficult when it begins to attract attention. Who but Yahweh can know our hearts and intentions? We tend to judge others by their actions and ourselves by our intentions. Why is it that "you" can fill-in-the-blank out of a pure heart, but I'm trying to earn my salvation by keeping the Sabbath and living off the land? Really. Let's give each other the benefit of the doubt and trust Father to judge hearts.

I feel that's been needing attention for awhile. Thanks for hearing me out.

Incidentally, I disagree with Chambers in one point of his essay. I believe perfection can be and has been attained by man. If by no one else then the person Yahshua. As he is the very example of perfection given to us by our Father, and I don't believe he sets standards for us that we cannot attain, then we should hope to be able to attain it. Will we reach it in this lifetime? Wouldn't that be nice!!

It's beginning to look alot like winter...

2009-12-05T11:49:00.004-06:00

Well, it's beginning to feel like it! Nothing says winter like frozen pipes, eh? I'd better go check and see if they've thawed out yet...

Nope. Not yet. It usually takes a good three nights of below freezing temps for us to fine tune the thermostat on the heater in the well house; somewhere between a sky-high electric bill and frozen pipes. Might need to scrounge up some more insulation and stuff it in there somewhere.

The wee Willies are ready for snow, me thinks. They were out the other morning throwing frost at each other.

If you have children, you'll know I'm not making this up.

We did have some snow forecasted last week, but as per usual, we only got rain. "Less than half an inch possible accumulation"... why do they bother forecasting snow at all!? It was so dreary and rainy that about mid-morning I decided we would have ourselves a snow party - with or without the snow. We scheduled it for one o'clock that afternoon and invited no one outside our home. (Seth said, "We can't have a party with only eight people!") We baked cupcakes, complete with frosting and sprinkles (not my favorite dessert - I prefer brownies or cookies or cheesecake or pie - but nothing says celebrate like cake!), lit our scented candles, put on some wintery classical music and cleaned the house. We were late to our party by one hour, but no one complained. We changed the music to some upbeat blues and rockabilly, blew balloons, played games (musical chairs and Winker and balloon games) and pigged out on cupcakes. Then Royal and Little Brook went down for naps and we cut out paper snowflakes and decorated with them. Not a flurry outside.

It was a good day. Pure wisdom from on High, if you ask me, to arrange a day to let loose and enjoy the distractions, do something fun with the kids and Bobby. Things have been a smidgen stressful anyway (it usually is this time of year with no work) and when I woke up and saw rain clouds in the sky I felt that something had to be done or we'd all crack up. And I don't mean make jokes. It was good to know that we could whip a special occasion out of thin air, just the eight of us.

(Yay, we have water again!)

I do look forward to snow, now that it's cold. If it's going to be cold, I'd rather have snow than not. That's one reason I'd prefer not to ever move further south. Further north, if anything. Bobby says, "No way, further south if anything." So, there you have it. We're stuck in southern Missouri.

In spite of the early storm that stripped the trees of their pretty leaves, it was a beautiful fall. I was sure kicking myself for not getting some fall vegetables in. The weather was wonderful. At least my garlic is snuggled down nicely in the garden and will probably beat the daffodils up again come spring. So far we've had a few fair frosts, but yesterday was the first morning I walked to the barn on frozen ground. Having to break an inch of ice in the goats' water trough is another clue that winter is upon us.

Let it snow! Let it snow! Let it snow!

Now, where'd I put that seed catalog...?

Gal and Isabella

2009-12-04T19:23:00.001-06:00

Finally got together with my sister and Vince and as a bonus I had a peek at how my wee niece is growing. None of the family got together this year for Thanksgiving (I was okay with this until that morning and then felt this huge stab of saddness!), but Gal & Vince had us over for a bit in the evening. I brought my camera! Here's 9 month old Isabella Grace (and her doting mama):

My five older children are thrilled with their cousin and Blue in particular spent much of the time trying to get Little Brook to play with her (though Farra is holding Little in this shot).

Welcome!

2009-12-03T19:36:00.000-06:00

Well, here it is. Still working out the bugs, but the place offers so much more than the last! More personalization (for HTML-deficient folks like myself), easier photo sharing and a search feature. A search feature! How cool!

Come on in and look around!

Okay, well, nothing to see yet...